From DailyComix

Actual Notes Written by Parents to Excuse Their Kids from School...

My son is under a doctor's care and cannot take P.E. today. Please execute
him.

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Dear School : Please excuse John from being absent on Jan. 28,29,30,31,32,
and33.

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

Chris will not be in school today because he has one acre in his side.

Carlos was absent from school yesterday because he was playing football 
and injured himself in the growing part.

Actual Notes Written by Parents to Excuse Their Kids from School #2
Please excuse James for being. It was his father's fault.

Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot the Sunday
paper on the porch and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.

Gloria was absent yesterday because she had a gangover.

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent the weekend
with the marines.

Megan could not come to school yesterday because she was bothered by very
close veins.

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and 
misplaced his hip.

Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not 
breed well.

Maryann was absent Nov 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache 
and upset stomache.Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her 
brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either,
sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, because even 
her father got hot last night.

Please excuse Ray from being absent on Friday. He has very loose vowels.

Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrea and his boots
leak.

Please excuse Pedro for being absent yesterday. He had diahre --- dirya---
=diretha --- The Runs.