I love my master;
Thus I perfume myself with this long-rotten squirrel.
I lie belly-up in the sunshine,
Happier than you ever will be
Today I sniffed many dog butts,
I celebrate by kissing your face.
I sound the alarm!
Paperboy ... come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Mailman Fiend ... come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Meter reader ... come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Garbage man ... come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I sound the alarm!
Neighbor's cat ... come to kill us all!
Look! Look! Look! Look! Look!
I lift my leg and wiz on each bush.
Hello, Spot ... Sniff this and weep
How do I love thee?
The ways are numberless as my hairs on the rug.
My human is home!
I am so ecstatic I have made a puddle
I hate my choke chain -
Look, world, they strangle me!
Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack Ack!
Sleeping here, my chin on your foot,
No greater bliss ... well, maybe catching cats
Look in my eyes and deny it.
No human could Love you as much I do
The cat is not all bad
She fills the litter box with Tootsie Rolls
Dig under fence ... why?
Because it's there ... because it's there
I am your best friend,
Now, always, and especially when you are eating
You may call them fleas,
But they are far more ... I call them a vocation
My owners' mood is romantic
I lie near their feet.
I fart a big one.
I know I am loved
*author unknown*
