One night in the end of 1997 I had invited my friend Shawn over to my house Shawn and my brother (John) has never gotten along. This night they got into a physical fight. I tried everything I could to break it up, but nothing worked. Finally I threw one of John's weights at him.

I was blinded by rage when I had done so. He let go of Shawn and came after me. Since I'm a chicken-peace-loving kind of person and ran out of my room and outside the house.

I was full of tears of anger and hate. I didn't feel that there was anything positive in my life. I hid from my family outside behind a bush. Not only was there a storm brewing in the sky as well inside myself. There was so much rage going on inside my body that I couldn't stand it.

I hid out in the rain for ninety minutes. I sat on the ground and prayed to God that I wouldn't do anything stupid. Then I took this razor out of my pocket and put it on my wrist. I prayed that I could die, but I also prayed that I could live. I was so confused. I asked God for a sign as I started to feel the blade sink in. I prayed that He would help me know that He was there and that He would help me. I then heard a crack of thunder, but the sky was clear since the storm had calmed. Maybe that was just thunder or maybe it was God. This I know, I had a new life ahead of me. I would now believe in God.

Since that night I've grown so much spiritually. I first began to attend youth services with ConsumingFires. I saw how happy everyone was in being a Christian. It made me want to grow and learn more about Jesus.

I was eventually invited to go to Crosspoint. I now attend both youth groups.

I have made some great friends. All of my Christian friends seem to be so healthy. Especially Rachel. She's really nice and a true, strong Christian.

At first I didn't like to read my bible, now I have five of them. I'm trying to save up money to get a really nice study bible.

Spreading the Word of Jesus is becoming a passion of mine. I've started a program with Crosspoint called Campus Missionaries and I witness to people on the internet. I've been able to lead a friend to Christ. :)

I've not fallen into depression or even wished my own death with this new life of mine that I've found in Christ. I have lost a few things, like my lack of patience and my temper, but I have gained a lot of other things, such as, understanding, new perspectives on life, liberty and the pursuit of chili-dogs with extra onions. I feel I could talk forever about God and I love telling His stories from the bible. The most important thing that I have gained is a relationship with Jesus Christ, my Savior.