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AITST I - The Way I Sees It........

This here season opener was mitey disturbin' by my way o' thinkin.'
It dadgum near broke my pea-pickin' heart to see ol' Xener gone loonier than a ant in a wooden yo-yo.
The poor pal is jest a pitiful case without that sweet lil' ol' Gabrielle.

We starts off seein' Xener on her horse and she's as mad as a wet hen! She's a lookin' fer that kinda fancy-lookin' feller - Hades - and she dern well ain't takin' no fer a answer! But that feller don't help her none - jest shows off his perty boots. 'Cept Xener does find out her lil' Gab is done gone to be with them big-bosomed gals called "Amerzons."
Xener ain't seen her little buddy in a coon's age, so she's gotta getter back! So the crazy gal starts doin' some mighty nasty thangs to enter that there world o' darkness.
Xener kills her a 12-point sumpthin' that looks like a buck (atta gal!) and she hauls it on her own shoulders. (My huzband Billy Jeff woulda just tied it to the top o' his pickup and drove all over Texas honkin his horn, a' showin' it off!)
But back to m' story: Xener skins that animule and messes around with its blood and the next thang you know she's a' sweatin' and a' jerkin' and a' makin' funny noises - and then she goes back and remembers some hanky-panky with some hippie lookin' feller named Bore-ass. Some ol' nasty lookin' lady with too much Maybelline comes in the room and tells Xener she's in "the family way." (OH! How I remembers the first time I was 'spectin' a little feller - I weren't but 13 and I wuz soooo excited! And I've had 9 of 'em since!)
But back to my story again: Next, Xener finds a poor lil' gal stuck to a tree, and she commences, to settin' her on fire! While the lil' gal is burnin' Xener is a' moanin' and a'groanin' and cryin' her heart out over lil' Gab. (That part got me plum flustered - I used up a whole roll o' toilet paper a' wipin' m' tears!)
I went into a wailin' fit myself when I seen Xener kill a purfectly decent horse and drankin' its blood cuz she was a'needin' that ol' horse's spirit to get over to that other side. I ain't seen nothin' that sicknin' since Billy Jeff brought in a roadkill armerdiller off Highway 23 last week. (but it t'weren't too bad after I roasted it.)
With the horse blood a'drippin' down her chin like BBQ sauce drools down Billy Jeff's face, Xener jumps outter her own dadgum body and goes to the land o' the dead. She meets up with the lil' gal that she done just burned! (I heered the Land o' the Dead was in Siberier or sumwhere, but it shore did look like West Texas to me!)
Meanwhile some lil' Amerzon gals moves Xener's body to a cave. One o' them gals don't want nobody to hurt ol' Xener cuz she says that ol' witchy woman said long time ago that she wuz gonna get Xener's powers from her one day. (I didn't care 'bout none o' that - I jest wanted them to wipe Xener's chin!)
Back on the West Texas plain, Xener hears lil' Gab a'callin' her name and she gets all mushy a tellin' her she loves her and all that. (They ususally edits them kinda scenes out on our station, cuz down here in these parts, that lezzie stuff is illegal.)
Ol' Xener wakes up and later she meets up with a mean feller named Berserker who makes her feel all her pains again - like gettin' the crap beat outta her and them broken legs. Ol' Xener kills that hateful Berserker and then sees that ol' Berserker's horse is a' wearin' too much eye makeup jest like that Devil woman! So Xener knows that Devil woman ain't jest an ass; she's a horse too!

They says at the end that they's gonna continue it - but I don't thank I can wait!
Guess I'll have to keep my mind off it a'watching COPS, Jerry Springer, The Price is Right, and 'course, Wrestlin'.

I couldn't get Billy Jeff to watch this one with me cuz he heered Xener wasn't gonna be dressed in her leather. And he only watches it to see the bosoms and butts and belly buttons anyways.

I startin' watchin' Xener 'bout 3 years ago when my Mama tol' me 'bout it. She wathces it in the women's prison every week on "Xener Night."

I jest loooooove Xener, and I'd give up my mobile home, my '82 Trans Am and even my velvet Elvis paintin' jest to shake her hand! I'd even give up my Marlboros and my Bud Lite. Heck, I'd even give up Billy Jeff jest to meet her!

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed my view o' the show. I better run now....WalMart's a' callin!

WHITETRASH
aka
L.- L.
who was accused o' bein' such, so she thot she'd try it out, and dang it, it was fun!!!

You have full posting privileges

AITST I - The Way I Sees It........

(WHITETRASH) writes:
> This here season opener was mitey disturbin' by my way o' thinkin.'
> It dadgum near broke my pea-pickin' heart to see ol' Xener gone loonier than a ant in a wooden yo-yo.
> The poor pal is jest a pitiful case without that sweet lil' ol' Gabrielle.
>
> We starts off seein' Xener on her horse and she's as mad as a wet hen! She's a lookin' fer that kinda fancy-lookin' feller - Hades - and she dern well ain't takin' no fer a answer! But that feller don't help her none - jest shows off his perty boots. 'Cept Xener does find out her lil' Gab is done gone to be with them big-bosomed gals called "Amerzons."
> Xener ain't seen her little buddy in a coon's age, so she's gotta getter back! So the crazy gal starts doin' some mighty nasty thangs to enter that there world o' darkness.
> Xener kills her a 12-point sumpthin' that looks like a buck (atta gal!) and she hauls it on her own shoulders. (My huzband Billy Jeff woulda just tied it to the top o' his pickup and drove all over Texas honkin his horn, a' showin' it off!)
> But back to m' story: Xener skins that animule and messes around with its blood and the next thang you know she's a' sweatin' and a' jerkin' and a' makin' funny noises - and then she goes back and remembers some hanky-panky with some hippie lookin' feller named Bore-ass. Some ol' nasty lookin' lady with too much Maybelline comes in the room and tells Xener she's in "the family way." (OH! How I remembers the first time I was 'spectin' a little feller - I weren't but 13 and I wuz soooo excited! And I've had 9 of 'em since!)
> But back to my story again: Next, Xener finds a poor lil' gal stuck to a tree, and she commences, to settin' her on fire! While the lil' gal is burnin' Xener is a' moanin' and a'groanin' and cryin' her heart out over lil' Gab. (That part got me plum flustered - I used up a whole roll o' toilet paper a' wipin' m' tears!)
> I went into a wailin' fit myself when I seen Xener kill a purfectly decent horse and drankin' its blood cuz she was a'needin' that ol' horse's spirit to get over to that other side. I ain't seen nothin' that sicknin' since Billy Jeff brought in a roadkill armerdiller off Highway 23 last week. (but it t'weren't too bad after I roasted it.)
> With the horse blood a'drippin' down her chin like BBQ sauce drools down Billy Jeff's face, Xener jumps outter her own dadgum body and goes to the land o' the dead. She meets up with the lil' gal that she done just burned! (I heered the Land o' the Dead was in Siberier or sumwhere, but it shore did look like West Texas to me!)
> Meanwhile some lil' Amerzon gals moves Xener's body to a cave. One o' them gals don't want nobody to hurt ol' Xener cuz she says that ol' witchy woman said long time ago that she wuz gonna get Xener's powers from her one day. (I didn't care 'bout none o' that - I jest wanted them to wipe Xener's chin!)
> Back on the West Texas plain, Xener hears lil' Gab a'callin' her name and she gets all mushy a tellin' her she loves her and all that. (They ususally edits them kinda scenes out on our station, cuz down here in these parts, that lezzie stuff is illegal.)
> Ol' Xener wakes up and later she meets up with a mean feller named Berserker who makes her feel all her pains again - like gettin' the crap beat outta her and them broken legs. Ol' Xener kills that hateful Berserker and then sees that ol' Berserker's horse is a' wearin' too much eye makeup jest like that Devil woman! So Xener knows that Devil woman ain't jest an ass; she's a horse too!
>
> They says at the end that they's gonna continue it - but I don't thank I can wait!
> Guess I'll have to keep my mind off it a'watching COPS, Jerry Springer, The Price is Right, and 'course, Wrestlin'.
>
> I couldn't get Billy Jeff to watch this one with me cuz he heered Xener wasn't gonna be dressed in her leather. And he only watches it to see the bosoms and butts and belly buttons anyways.
>
> I startin' watchin' Xener 'bout 3 years ago when my Mama tol' me 'bout it. She wathces it in the women's prison every week on "Xener Night."
>
> I jest loooooove Xener, and I'd give up my mobile home, my '82 Trans Am and even my velvet Elvis paintin' jest to shake her hand! I'd even give up my Marlboros and my Bud Lite. Heck, I'd even give up Billy Jeff jest to meet her!
>
> Well, I hope y'all enjoyed my view o' the show. I better run now....WalMart's a' callin!
>
>
> WHITETRASH
> aka
> L.- L.
> who was accused o' bein' such, so she thot she'd try it out, and dang it, it was fun!!!
>

absoBLOOMINlutely th'most
outFERKINrageous display of
comedicKUNG-FOO prowess
we have seen to-date

I read it twice,
toops read it three times
(an' after I helped him
sound out th'big words,
he laughed so hard dixie beer
came out his nose...anyway)

we SAH-lute ya
(whoever ya are)
hmmm...

pen an' toops

You have full posting privileges

AITST I - The Way I Sees It........

(WHITETRASH) writes:
> This here season opener was mitey disturbin' by my way o' thinkin.'
> It dadgum near broke my pea-pickin' heart to see ol' Xener gone loonier than a ant in a wooden yo-yo.
> The poor pal is jest a pitiful case without that sweet lil' ol' Gabrielle.
>
> We starts off seein' Xener on her horse and she's as mad as a wet hen! She's a lookin' fer that kinda fancy-lookin' feller - Hades - and she dern well ain't takin' no fer a answer! But that feller don't help her none - jest shows off his perty boots. 'Cept Xener does find out her lil' Gab is done gone to be with them big-bosomed gals called "Amerzons."
> Xener ain't seen her little buddy in a coon's age, so she's gotta getter back! So the crazy gal starts doin' some mighty nasty thangs to enter that there world o' darkness.
> Xener kills her a 12-point sumpthin' that looks like a buck (atta gal!) and she hauls it on her own shoulders. (My huzband Billy Jeff woulda just tied it to the top o' his pickup and drove all over Texas honkin his horn, a' showin' it off!)
> But back to m' story: Xener skins that animule and messes around with its blood and the next thang you know she's a' sweatin' and a' jerkin' and a' makin' funny noises - and then she goes back and remembers some hanky-panky with some hippie lookin' feller named Bore-ass. Some ol' nasty lookin' lady with too much Maybelline comes in the room and tells Xener she's in "the family way." (OH! How I remembers the first time I was 'spectin' a little feller - I weren't but 13 and I wuz soooo excited! And I've had 9 of 'em since!)
> But back to my story again: Next, Xener finds a poor lil' gal stuck to a tree, and she commences, to settin' her on fire! While the lil' gal is burnin' Xener is a' moanin' and a'groanin' and cryin' her heart out over lil' Gab. (That part got me plum flustered - I used up a whole roll o' toilet paper a' wipin' m' tears!)
> I went into a wailin' fit myself when I seen Xener kill a purfectly decent horse and drankin' its blood cuz she was a'needin' that ol' horse's spirit to get over to that other side. I ain't seen nothin' that sicknin' since Billy Jeff brought in a roadkill armerdiller off Highway 23 last week. (but it t'weren't too bad after I roasted it.)
> With the horse blood a'drippin' down her chin like BBQ sauce drools down Billy Jeff's face, Xener jumps outter her own dadgum body and goes to the land o' the dead. She meets up with the lil' gal that she done just burned! (I heered the Land o' the Dead was in Siberier or sumwhere, but it shore did look like West Texas to me!)
> Meanwhile some lil' Amerzon gals moves Xener's body to a cave. One o' them gals don't want nobody to hurt ol' Xener cuz she says that ol' witchy woman said long time ago that she wuz gonna get Xener's powers from her one day. (I didn't care 'bout none o' that - I jest wanted them to wipe Xener's chin!)
> Back on the West Texas plain, Xener hears lil' Gab a'callin' her name and she gets all mushy a tellin' her she loves her and all that. (They ususally edits them kinda scenes out on our station, cuz down here in these parts, that lezzie stuff is illegal.)
> Ol' Xener wakes up and later she meets up with a mean feller named Berserker who makes her feel all her pains again - like gettin' the crap beat outta her and them broken legs. Ol' Xener kills that hateful Berserker and then sees that ol' Berserker's horse is a' wearin' too much eye makeup jest like that Devil woman! So Xener knows that Devil woman ain't jest an ass; she's a horse too!
>
> They says at the end that they's gonna continue it - but I don't thank I can wait!
> Guess I'll have to keep my mind off it a'watching COPS, Jerry Springer, The Price is Right, and 'course, Wrestlin'.
>
> I couldn't get Billy Jeff to watch this one with me cuz he heered Xener wasn't gonna be dressed in her leather. And he only watches it to see the bosoms and butts and belly buttons anyways.
>
> I startin' watchin' Xener 'bout 3 years ago when my Mama tol' me 'bout it. She wathces it in the women's prison every week on "Xener Night."
>
> I jest loooooove Xener, and I'd give up my mobile home, my '82 Trans Am and even my velvet Elvis paintin' jest to shake her hand! I'd even give up my Marlboros and my Bud Lite. Heck, I'd even give up Billy Jeff jest to meet her!
>
> Well, I hope y'all enjoyed my view o' the show. I better run now....WalMart's a' callin!
>
>
> WHITETRASH
> aka
> L.- L.
> who was accused o' bein' such, so she thot she'd try it out, and dang it, it was fun!!!
>

LL...

MARJOR *ROTFLMAO*!!!!!!!!!!.....LL....that's the funniest thing i've ever read on the forum....ever!!!!!!!!!!!

Yer welcome in Merc's trailer court anytime....and hey...we never get them twisters up here so ya won't be losin' all yer WalMart belongin's......ever...

Merc

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