Spiritually Speaking...

(Stargzr07) writes:
> There has been something about the show other than the obviousness of the rift that has been disturbing me this season. If anyone has any feedback to my post, please feel free to respond.
>
> There are things I like better about the show this season as well. In part, I like the look of the show a lot better now. It's a visual/artistic thing coming from a BFA photography candidate during my college days who is and has always been fascinated by cinematography. The effects are better, and the filming is visually more "comfortable" and beautiful to me. I also prefer the softer Xena, and the maturing Gabrielle.
>
> Thanks, however, to a dear e-mail buddy and the timing of her e-mail which came while I was listening to an audio tape of Robert T. Jaffe, M.D., I have finally discovered what it is that been bothering me.
>
> Dr. Jaffe talked about how many relationships with which most people are familiar are mirror relationships. In other words, "I like what I like about you because I like it about myself. I hate what I hate about you because it's something about me that I hate (whether it's realized consciously or not)." True Spiritual relationships are seldom experienced by we humble humans, though it's not an impossibility. There are, of course, numerous people who do experience this level of being. It can be very difficult for us to enjoy another person for who he or she is. Often it's much easier to project our own expectations of acceptable and unacceptable onto that person. This is why we see so much turmoil in people's interpersonal relationships.
>
> And that, however basic it may be, is what's been bothering me. The writers have taken a mature, spiritual bond and turned it into a mirroring relationship filled with the turmoil of Joe average. Xena and Gabrielle once worked together with respect for their differences--each realizing that they both brought assets and deficits to the relationship. They worked together for the common good, and transcended the pettiness of daily jealousies and insecurities. I find it difficult to accept that people so evolved would backslide in such a radical way. I feel that they would have continued to evolve in a more positive way (which isn't to say they wouldn't experience some level of turmoil together).
>
> Though this season has kept me on the edge of my seat, and certainly kept our tongues wagging about what would happen next, is it realistic for us to believe that Gabby would sell her soul to Ares simply because she misinterpretted a few key words from Xena. I find that hard to believe.

Hello Star--

Your comments are so very astute and observant! It pinpoints what's been bothering me too, although I really had no idea what exactly it was or how to express it. But THAT'S IT!!!! I think that certainly X & G's relationship has to have conflict in order for things to be interesting, but if it were a more complex, rarely-seen-because-it's-between-two-mature-people kind of conflict, that would definitely be even MORE interesting.

Thanks for putting words to my own frustrations. Battle on, anyhow! (Love those two gals!)

labyrinth

Spiritually Speaking...

di

Spiritually Speaking...

Great Insight I have to think that they wanted to almost go back in time and write the characters in a developmental phase. The irrationality of anger, or rejection, or jealousy. It did not quite fit but he episode was still my favorite of the season. I agree the relationship ideally should go forward consistently but must be hared when trying to put compelling television on once a week. Kind of like soap operas if you make the happy couple the interest usually wanes. Like life I think we will see them both fall of the horse and get back on throughout the entire season. Loved your post there are so few intelligent comments on the forum that when there is it is great to respond.

aquafina

Spiritually Speaking...

Hail Stargzr07,

An excellent post BTW, so much better than all the other dribble clogging up the forum of late.
You are correct that Gabrielle would never sell out to Ares and I'm sure when that revelation
came to pass, it was a very hot topic. As for Xena and Gabrielle relationship, I don't feel it
has ever actually taken a step backward. In the beginning, it was a master-student relationship.
In the second season they became true friends, having shared many difficult circumstances together.
In the third season the relationship suffers but is repaired, to be stonger than before. Now
Gabrielle taking Ares up on his offer was a bit foolish, but Xena had just told her that everything
they had done, accomplished, and meant to each other, wouldn't stand in her way of doing this task.
I would be furious if one of my friends did this to me, and it's possible that Gabrielle made a
hasty decision one fueled more by passion than logic. I don't think she would have kept this a
secret from Xena and would of handled things differently in Chin. I however don't write the scripts.
I feel their relationship has graduated to the spiritual level you were speaking of after the rift,
but I don't think it was there before. Before it was two very good friends whose friendship had
never really been tested. Xena and Gabrielle are now and will forever be one and not even death will
change it. I think you will enjoy Season IV immensely as you see the true bonds of their friendship.
Thanks again for a most stimulating post, hope to hear from you again in the future.

Taarak
Defender of Friendship
(even in it's weakest form is still better than hating someone)

Spiritually Speaking...

Hello Stargzr07,
Thanks for the thoughful and sensitive posting (we can only spend so much time deciding
“who’s hotter”).
In response to your thoughts -
1. At the moment when Xena left Gabrielle at the docks, she still had not told Gabrielle the
entire story and the true nature of her debt to Lao Ma, perhaps because she was afraid of
how Gabrielle might have responded to her feelings for Lao Ma.
2. Up to this point in her life, Gabrielle had never had an intimate relationship with anyone,
sorry - one day as a wife to Perdicus does NOT count. Her seemingly hasty and
“un-Gabrielle-like” acceptance of Ares’ offer was simply one of inexperience from a person
with no frame of reference in her life for this situation. As we learn later, Gabrielle
responded out of jealousy and probably insecurity. Think back to your first true realtionship
- I’m sure there were quite a few mistakes made, but we learn from these mistakes. Usually
we take the easy way out and end the relationship - just to start another and try it all over
again. The fact that Xena and Gabrielle stuck it out and worked through the very hardest
times just shows the depth of their bond - a bond I see as truly spitritual. The HARDEST
thing to do in life is to truly forgive someone who has hurt you. Gabrielle is actually a much
more believable character for me now that she has faced the demons inside of her - Xena
started on that journey much earlier. Sooner or later Gabrielle would have had to deal with
emotions in herself that she was not proud of - we ALL do! Lucky for her she had Xena at
the time - someone who realizes that she (herself), of all people, hasn’t the right to judge
anyone’s behavior - especially the one person in her life that has given her unconditional
love. Part of Xena’s life path is to learn how to forgive, herself mostly, though she’s not to
that point yet (this is why she could not accept Apollo’s forgiveness in the ep
“FORGIVEN”). Even people on the path to spiritual enlightenment stumble occasionally,
one step back - two steps forward. The important thing is that we STAY on the path. Xena
and Gabrielle’s relationship is stronger and closer than ever because of the strife they’ve
been through together, not in spite of it. Both women still respect and admire the differences
in each other as was evident in “ONE AGAINST AN ARMY”- one of their finest
performances!
3. Xena’s “backslide” was triggered by one of the most devastating events in life - the death
of a child. Looking to place blame in that situation is not at all unusual, especially for
someone with such deep-seeded trust issues. Her dark side is so strong she fights every day
- in ordinary situations - just to keep it in check. I think suicide is the only other way she
could have dealt with the pain . But Xena doesn’t beleive she even deserves that release -
not without atoning for her crimes. I wasn’t surprised at all to see her response to Gabrielle
- painful? you bet - tore me apart to see those two say the “hate” word to each other. But we
only learn through our mistakes, and pain can be the greatest teacher of all - it’s all part of
the spiritual journey.

Hope I haven’t rambled on too long, you just got me thinking . . .

Take care,
NikiB