and now .... you're gone ~... poem

and now .... you're gone ~
~~for my friend

i looked i did
i thought
about you often
you know that now
that you did matter
to me greatly
know that i can
still see your
face and feel
your skin

i can still hear
that voice soft
low an deep
and oh the
gentle laugh the
eyes brown as
the earth wide
as a world lost
inside itself

and we two would
go there you and i
and it never changed
that moment lost
when time rearranged
for us amidst the din
wrapped us in the
soft the quiet
the dark the center
of the earth

in the park
oh on the grass
i remember bodies
pressed whisperin in
each other's ear
soft warm
breathe caress
laughin over coffee
fingers twinin
i remember

and when i
looked i could
not find you
strange i thought
you must be here
i have found
others of a lesser
note and so i
looked again and
this time i found
your name within
the little box

writers writin'
on the writer sayin
he was somethin
special he was
was he was was was
was was was
starin at the
screen clutchin
insides turn
to stone

your gone
you left me
all alone
but but i was
lookin to say
i will i will
i will i am
ready and i am
writing again

but you are
gone you
can't be
i am stone
and life keeps
drippin water
on my head
dear god dear
friend dear
brilliant one
you are dead

oh the funeral
guests they say
read like a
list elite
garlands at
your feet
but i
wasn't there
i didn't know
you know
how i hide i
guess it's been years

i didn't know
i wasn't there
and it feels all
wrong inside me
oh god
you're dead

and the words
bring tears and
fears of mortality
and a loss that
sits like a rock
i see what's been
you're gone yes
you're gone
home free

and this much
i do know this
much is quite
clear to me
last fall you
died said uncle
said when and
today i stand
here with a hole
in my heart
with a sinking
certainty that
i will never
touch your
hand again

~shanty thanks you for readin'