TWEEN the LINES~Still in Indianer

This epersode starts out with one o' them funny messages that's meant to be deeeep or sumthin'... (but I think it would be a good motto fer that there Weight Watchers Club):

"What we sew in life,
We rip in our future lives.
This is our Caramel."

Let me decifer this for ya'll: If you'd quit eatin' so much candy, you wouldn't be bustin' outta yer clothes, and you wouldn't have to be wearin' them loose hippie-style rags to hide yer flab. (Are ya listenin', Xener?)

Alrite... on to the story.

Like I done said, Xener and Gabs are dressed kinda like clowns and I figured they've either joined the circus or been smokin' some o' that funny weed.

The gals watches as some sourpuss-face fellers throw a mummy body on a far (fire), and then they goes to throw a farkin' live womwan on the far too. Xener won't have none o' that... so she jumps on them fellers and proceeds to kick their Indianer butts while Lil' Gab runs off with the womwan, who's name is Naomi, jest like that Mama Judd.

Turns out ol' Naomi has got some mitey fancy powers. That hippie feller couldn't Hyp-NO-Tize Xener last week, but this lil' Naomi gal sure does! An' she sends her off into the future where she finds out what she's gonna look like if she don't lay off the Butterfingers!

Xener finds herself as the Mother o' Peace (I told y'all she was smokin' that funny weed)... and guess who she meets up with again? THAT DEVIL WOMAN! The one that was berzerkin' in them nasty Sin Trade epersodes! AL-TEE is back, still cakin' on too much Maybelline, and from the sound o' her voice, still a' chain-smokin'!

Now Lil' Gab's back at the ranch with Naomi and she's doin' her magic spell on Gab and she tells Gab that Xener's done gone into the future to find her caramel. Gab jest rolls her eyes, and sez, "What a pig!"

Gab decides she better go help Xener on her quest to satisfy that sweet tooth, so Naomi sends her into the future, and she wakes up feelin' mitey peculiar. She knows somethin' don't seem rite, but she don't reealize just what it is til she has to go to the bathroom, and then she finds a big ol' surprize! *TG*

Yep, Lil' Gab is a MAN, and she's a feelin' mitey macho. Furst thang she does is goes out and buys her some chewin' tobaccer, a baseball cap, some beef jerky, a Bud (not lite), and then she sets out to whup AL-TEE's scrawny butt.

Macho Gab and her army attacks... and AL-TEE goes to shoot Gab with her fancy bow, and Xena starts to kill ol' AL-TEE, but some nice Indianer feller sez, "No, Mama, don't do it! You'll destroy your caramel." (So Xener don't do it, much as she's tempted, cuz she's jest soooo powerful hungry.)

So AL-TEE shoots that poor feller, and he bites the dust, but not before he hands Xener a lil' box containin' a magic marker that's got special powers.

Meantime, somebody bops Macho Gab on the head and knocks her out cold.

When Gab wakes up, she shore don't look like a man no more! Her and Xener goes wild paintin' all over each other, and then the local Tee Vee station cuts it off fer about 5 minutes for stashion identifikation, so I got no idear what all went on, but I do know when they got through, they both look like they'd been to Dirty Dan's Tatoo Parlor!

Ol' Al-Tee comes into the room, and Xener and Gab start posin' and actin' all freakin' weird. (Guess ol' Dan keeps a stash o' that funny weed too.)

Back in the village, poor lil' Naomi is bein' thrown into the fire again (them Indianer folks is stubborn!) But after they tosses her in, she comes rite back out, with Ol' Xener and Lil' Gab rite alongside her!

But ol' Al-Tee comes outta the fire too, and she starts makin' Xener feel all them pains outta her past like she did before. Then Lil' Gab tries to whup Al-Tee, but Alti grabs her by her neck, beats her butt, and shows her that there short-hair crucifixion scene.

Xener screams, "You *itch!" at Alti (I thank I went to high school with THAT Xener!) and Al-TI grabs Lil' Gab by her hair and holds her up and Xener throws her Shockram and gives Lil' Gab a quick haircut. (I always knowed Xener wuz jealous o' Gab's purty blonde hair!)

Naomi shows up and starts puttin' on another magic show and Xener starts throwin' Shockrams at AL-TEE and makes her blow up.

Naomi reminds Xener that AL-TEE might be gone, but SHE'll BE BACK. Xener sez, "Oh Great! There jest ain't no rest fer the weary!"

So Xener and Gabs start to walkin' away, and Gabs shows off her new butch haircut, and .... to be honest with y'all... I don't remember nuthin' else cuz I was cryin' too hard to see what happened at the end... but I'm hopin' they're finally gettin' the heck outta Indianer cuz I can't take much more o' this.

THE END

WT
who's not sure she can keep a'watchin' with Lil' Gab's hair bein' gone. *sob*