XENA'S SACRIFICE....True Love???

My trek up Mt. Olympus, this time, was a cold one. Outside the wind blew, the rain pelted against my skin, and inside I struggled with the same elements. My heart was frozen and the tears of my pain saturated my soul with it's chilling wetness. Where are you Xena? I need you.
I followed the barely worn path up toward what I hoped would be understanding....and I heard her voice....

"I'm here. What's up."

"The pain....the pain I saw on your face while watching you put out the biggest sacrifice of all....it tore me apart inside.

"And which sacrifice was that Merc. I've made a lot of sacrifices these past 3 years."

"But not like this...this was.....well.....it made me feel a desperation like no other...you were willing to sacrifice your love for Gabrielle completely to save her from a destined death. The Crucifixion."

"I love Gabrielle."

"I know you do....but...is that True Love? Is this what is meant by that term? Because if it is....I don't think I'm capable of it. I know I would hold on too tightly and selfishly to what brought me happiness. I've never sacrificed anything in my life to such an extent as you were willing to sacrifice for Gabrielle."

"Really?....Never?....Your mother died some time ago....didn't she, Merc?"

"Well....yeah."

"Tell me about it."

"Why?"

"Just do it."

"Okay....well...she had lung cancer and was in a care facility for the last 5 months of her life."

"Did you love your mother?"

"Well....yeah...I loved her...we did have a strained mother/daughter relationship though. She could never accept me for who I was and I could never love her the way she wanted me to. It was a typical love/hate.....mother/daughter relationship."

"Typical?....I wouldn't call it that, Merc. You say you've never sacrificed the way I did for Gabrielle...but you have. You sacrificed more. You sacrificed your HOPE of Love. Your hope of ever being loved by one of the most important people in your life. I remember watching you. You made a conscience decision to let go of all the pain between you and your mother...and just love her. You gave up the need to be understood...to be loved...and most importantly...to be RIGHT. I watched as you sat hours on end as she moaned in pain...you always there...massaging her back that bulged of cancer. You painted her toenails....combed her hair....kept the nurses on their toes.
You talked to her of her past...the happy moments, which were few, trying to help her find the happiness of a long and painful life.
You decorated her room with Marilyn Monroe....sat and watched Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn....and you talked to her of death...when everyone else was afraid to. You showed no fear, Merc. Do you know what a blessing that was for her? I watched as you laid your head in her lap and cried....telling her how much you were going to miss her and that you wanted to make a deal with her. You made her promise that when she crossed over she would give you guidance in your life. You gave her hope. Hope of there being meaning in letting go of all she knew and loved...that there WOULD be a purpose for her in returning to the world of the Spirit.....

You had never cried like that with your mother before in your life
had you?"

"No."

"Did it change something between you."

"Yeah....I felt the depth of her love for me....and I think she felt the depth of mine for her."

"So see....you sacrificed all hope of being loved, understood and accepted and in doing so you were given all you desired in return.
Is this True Love?.....I say so. You were willing to give up something you had held close and dear to ensure the happiness of another. You had been carrying that Hope with you for decades and
you were brave enough to give it up when it counted most. Your sacrifice opened the door for your mother. Through your sacrifice
she was able to let go of all expectations of you"

"So....True Love...is attainable?"

"Merc...Merc...Merc...Of course it is. You just have to make the decision to give it. In my case there was no other choice. I love Gabrielle to a depth that is unexplainable....it's of the Soul. I made my choice....just as you did with your mother.

Now get off this friggin' mountain....it's freezin' up here.
And...by the way...your mom says hi....and is amazed that after 11 years since her crossing you still can't balance a checkbook."

"*LOL*....okay....I'm leaving. Thanks Xena."

"See ya Merc."