THE END
SCENE 1 - Intr. of a Kitchen. Everything is done in faded earth tones: harvest gold, olive green. Lots of vertical stripes. Looks like they haven't redecorated the house since the 1970's. The only new additions are are a rash of Christmas decorations. Tinsle, garlands etc. Seems really out of place due to the fact that it is very warm and summer-y outside. With no lead-in or establishing shot, we go immeadiately to a Med. shot of FATHER yelling. Despite the fact that he is eating at home with his family, he is still wearing a white shirt and tie. He is definately not a wealthy man. In fact he looks like Wallace Shawn.
FATHER (angry & surprised)
That's it, mister (pointing to the door) You're out of here.
3/4 shot of MOTHER. She is wearing a dress. Her hair is up. It looks like she spent more time on this meal than most, but it's not a special occasion. She looks like Julie Kavner
MOTHER (trying to pacify FATHER)
Now don't get upset. I'm sure it's just a phase he's going through.
FATHER
But he's turning his back on our forefathers, our history, our people. I won't have him living in my house.
Now we finally see the object of FATHER's wrath. STEPHEN. He's about 5 years old. Blonde Hair with that bowl shaped Beatles haircut so popular at that age. He looks particularly small right now. His feet don't reach the floor. His hands are folded in his lap. May be played by MacCaulay Culkin
STEPHEN (fidgeting nervously)
What did I do?
MOTHER
You can't throw him out on the streets! He's only five years old.
STEPHEN (scared, sheepish)
All I said was that I don't believe in Santa Claus.
FATHER (covering his ears)
Aah! I can't believe I'm hearing this. My own son!
Now we see GRETCHEN. She is about 13 years old (played by Christina Ricci). She looks very sickly, undernourished, pale, otherworldly, fragile, comatose, and traumatized. Her hair is stringy and unkempt. Her arms lifeless at her sides. Her food and silverware have not been touched. Her clothes are drab and gray. Staing blankly into outer space and twitching occasionally, she is completely unaware of what is going on. We see her for about 2 seconds and then return to the action.
MOTHER
I don't see what you're getting so upset about.
FATHER
Don't you get it? First no Santa Claus. Next he starts questioning our own petty authority. Soon he'll start saying that television is just make-beleive and that the president is lying to us. Next thing you know he's dropped out of the Catillian and prclaiming that God is dead.
MOTHER
Catillian?!? You mean we're catholic?
Another shot of GRETCHEN, unperturbed.
MOTHER
All this time, I thought we we're Jewish.
STEPHEN
I'm sorry, Dad. That's just what my school teacher told me. I really do believe in Santa Claus.
FATHER
It's O.K. I'm sorry I yelled at you, but this just isn't the kind of thing you joke about. In fact, after dinner, you and I are going to have a little man-to-man talk.
MOTHER
I always wondered why we were celebrating Christmas.
SCENE 2 - Intr. of STEPHEN's bedroom. Decorated typically: Lots of sports pennets, dinosaur wallpaper, stuffed animals, and naked, bloody Barbie dolls hanging from the ceiling naked from little hangman's nooses. FATHER and STEPHEN are sitting on the bed talking. The transition to this scene isn't as jarring and sudden as the begining of the movie.
FATHER
Now listen, son, and listen closely. You can't listen to what your teachers tell you.
STEPHEN
Not even my Catillian teachers?
FATHER
Well . . . Yeah, double-check anything you learn with me. I am the only one who knows anything for you. You can’t go around making fun of my authority like that. I’m in charge here. If you don’t believe in what I tell you to, then I will be forced to kill you. (STEPHEN laughs nervously) No. I’m serious. I always try to be fair, but if you don’t obey me I will sneak into your room at night and disembowel you while you’re sleeping.
We pull out of STEPHEN's bedroom through the hall and into the kitchen. There we see MOTHER dancing and singing along with Elvis Presley's "Blue Christmas" while putting up the dishes. After a few moments of that, we pull out again, back down the hall into GRETCHEN's room. It is very empty and clinically white. It's lone occupant - GRETCHEN - is sitting on the sole piece of furniture - a bed - in the exact same way as at the table. We sit and look at her for a few seconds. The soundtrack is completely silent. Then we close in on GRETCHEN's ear so that we enter her thoughts. Suddenly the soundtrack explodes thrice as loud with a loud barrage of random sound effects (ala "Eraserhead Soundtrack" or "Electronic Sound") We see lots of quickly edited stock footage of A-Bombs going off, intersperced with shots of a straw hat burning, a candy bar being stepped on, a blender crushing some ice, and a slo-mo close-up of STEPHEN being repatedly bashed with a baseball bat by a sadistically laughing GRETCHEN.
The noises and images all suddenly stop with the sound of a doorbell, and a bland, static shot of the front door from the inside. After a brief silent pause, FATHER opens the door. Outside is JACK, a tall, handsome, up-standing, straight, young man in a crisp clean militry uniform and carrying and army duffle bag over his shoulder. He looks a lot like John Cusack.
JACK
Hi, Dad.
The two embrace roughly and everything suddenly becomes cheasy like some AT&T commercial.
FATHER
Good to see you again, Son. Hey everybody, Jack's back.
We pull back as MOTHER and STEPHEN enter. As we get to see more of the living room we notice that GRETCHEN has been quietly sitting here the whole time. We also begin to see a fake aluminum decorated Christmas tree.
MOTHER (lovingly)
Jack!
The two embrace and she kisses him maternally.
MOTHER
I didn't think you were coming back from Greenland till Thursday.
JACK (still smiling)
I was dishonorably discharged for immoral behaviour. (to STEPHEN) How's my little Goombah? (He sweeps him up and twirls him around) Have you been practicing your foul shots like I told ya?
STEPHEN
Every day. Just last night I...
GRETCHEN lets forth a lorg, lound, high piercing, blood curdling scream (ala Queen of the Banshees.)
JACK
Oh, Gretchen, I missed you most of all.
He warmly hugs her. She does not respond. She does not even look at him.
JACK
You're right mom. She has gotten much better.
MOTHER
Yeah, that medicine I've been giving her has really helped.
FATHER (grabbing JACK's duffle)
Come on in. Take off your hat. Damn, it's good to see you.
JACK
Why thanks, I've been on my feet all day.
Everyone accompanies GRETCHEN sitting on the couch. STEPHEN begins singing “God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen” and very shortly everyone else (except GRETCHEN) joins in. We slowly focus in on a tree ornanment bearing the words “Make the Yuletide bright” or something else equally cryptic.
STEPHEN (in a mock Cockney accent)
God Bless us, Everyone.
SCENE 3 - It is in night. A half moon illuminates a sleeping suburban street. In the middle of the road is JACK wearing only a pair of boxer shorts. He is doing a very strange tribal dance involving a lot of slapping his chest with his open palms, stomping his feet and slowly raising and lowering his arms, and twirling. He seems to be working very hard and is covered in sweat. There is some sort of strang satanic looking symbol painted on his chest. This goes on for about 30-45 seconds. All we hear is some crickets chirping and JACK breathing heavily. Then JACK pulls out this large Rambo-style knife and starts baying at the moon like a wolf.
SCENE 4 - Intr. of the Kitchen, the next morning. FATHER is sipping on some coffee and reading a newspaper. He is listening to the radio.
VOICE ON THE RADIO
It’s a cold day out there. A chilly 6 degrees above zero. Coming up next we have another 45 minute music sweep featuring hits by Michael Jackson, Run DMC, The Bangles, B. B. King, The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and the Monkees. (Muttering/Laughing to himself) The Monkees . . . The Monkees. Oh boy! Does that bring back the memories. I remember a couple of years back when MTV showed all the episodes of the Monkees in a row? My Grandmother taped them for us. We didn’t have cable back then. We would watch them for hours on end while my mother was away at play rehearsals. She was directed a version of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Evita” for the church. We would stay home eating fish-sticks and tater tots and watch the Monkees for three or four hours in a row. Then when she would come home she would take out this leather whip and beat us till sunrise. My mother just died yesterday. So stay tuned more exciting music after this word from our local sponsors.
A radio commercial begins playing. Suddenly from off-screen we can hear MOTHER screaming hysterically “Help, Hurry, Come quick etc.” FATHER calmly folds up his newspaper and takes one last sip of coffee. Then and then goes out to investigate. MOTHER is screaming at STEPHEN's open bedroom door. Inside the bedroom we see STEPHEN covered by a white sheet save for his hand. The top part of the sheet is stained with blood and the middle part by urine. We slowly close-in on STEPHEN's exposed hand as “Crazy” as performed by the Del Rubio Triplets fades into the soundtrack. Cut to black. Credits. The End.
THE END
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