Are you too good for you home?!?!
Note: all characters in the following portrayal are purely fictional. Any similarities to the Student Government of St. Thomas Aquinas Secondary School are purely coincidental
Kuako : Prime Minister
It seems to me that nobody on this Student Government gives a damn.
And that's unfortunate because Kuako is the nicest person in the whole
world, and unlike Kevin Chan last year, he works his ass off. He'll call you and talk your ear off forever, he schedules meetings when you're on vacation, he has a little speech problem and it's hard to understand him sometimes, and he bothers you about not attending the weekly meetings; but other than that, he's a hard working, dedicated Prime Minister. Most important of all, though, is that he's not a leader. Sometimes people just don't have what it takes to be a leader.
Jock-Mike : Deputy Prime Minister
Jock-Mike: is polite and friendly but it seems like he ran for Student Government on a whim. He's doesn't attend half the meetings because he's at football practice. He's not as serious about his job as Kuako, and you just have to look at the guy to know that he's not exactly one of those hard-working people that invests all his time into Student Government. He thinks he's so popular and such a bad ass because he goes for a smoke with Alexis every two seconds.
Alexis Hou-Stone : Minister of Finance
Alexis is the guy that REALLY scares me. It's rumored that he's a real stoner; he supposedly drinks and smokes up frequently. He hardly
attends the meetings because he's suspended most of the time. It seems like he's slacker, but he gets the job done (most of the time). One time, he forgot to get the donut prize for Mrs. Carter's class. Then Doorman got blamed by Mrs. Carter because they didn't get their stupid prize. Now Doorman can't even talk to him cause he's so scary.
No-Style Fernandez : Minister of Records
As her name implies, No-Style can't dress to save her
life. Half the time, she's clueless and has no idea what's going on. She can't wait to get out of Student Government meetings so she can get to her Peer Mediation meetings. They rescheduled the meetings just so she could go to Peer Mediation, because in her words "If I can't go to Peer Mediation, then I'm going to have to quit Student Government". Thanks, but you should of thought about that BEFORE you took the job. Every time she talks, I cringe because her voice cracks in this annoying high-pitched whine. Overall, she's one of the few decent people on Student Government.
Skinny Candy : Minister of Social Functions
She is the biggest bitch I've ever met in my life. She only calls
you or talks to
you when she needs something; she's uses everybody for her own personal
benefit. She's so self-centered and the only person she thinks about is
herself; . Her voice is so annoying and whiny, and she acts so fake, like she's putting on a show the whole time. She hardly does any work, and when she does, she's always complaining about it. She pretends she has a life and that she has better things to do than spend time with Student Government. But really she just a lifeless, whiny, manipulative, fake, little self-centered bitch and that's all I have to say about her!
Doorman : Minister of External Affairs
She hates Student Government with a passion. It's rumored that she only ran for Minister of External Affairs on a bet from her best friend. Her friend didn't think Doorman would actually go through with it, but she did, and now Doorman totally regrets it. She's a two-face to everybody and she tries to skip out on the meetings as much as possible. Even though she hates doing the work and going to the meetings, she does it anyway because she's not a quitter, no matter how much she hates it. She's trying to do everything in her power to be kicked out of Student Government.
Guiddo : Senator
She is probably the only person, besides No-Style, who is tolerable in Student Government. She nice, she's dedicated and she gets the work done. She's a little bit of a complainer, but that doesn't bother me.
Darron Unabomber Murphy : Senator
He is the scariest person in the world. He looks like a redneck
and whenever he talks to a girl, he stares at her breasts. Whenever he
talks, he uses complicated and unnecessary words, as if he's superior to you. And he just keeps talking and talking and makes meetings a living hell because they go on and on and on!!! He's always complaining about his job and he wants all the government meetings to coincide with his work schedule.
I hope you enjoyed our little trip though the members of Student Government. As you can see, if Student Government actually HAD any power, it would be terribly dangerous in the hands of these dysfunctional people. I'd like to remind you that this article is completely fictional and anonymous. But see if you can guess who wrote it >:-)
by Spider... ahem I mean Anonymous
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