The Caffeinated Cross

...found many places and not original to us.

The Long Form:

Stand, facing east, holding your coffee cup, filled with the mystical brew, in your power hand, and assume a posture of wakeful alertness.

Bring your coffee cup to your forehead and intone:
"LATTE"
Lower your coffee cup to the vicinity of your navel:
"MOCHA"
Bring your coffee cup to your left shoulder:
"CAPPUCHINO"
Bring it across to your right shoulder:
"FRAPPUCHINO"
Clasp your coffee cup in both hands over your heart chakra: "ARABICA, OH MAN!"

Extend your arms to the sides, and intone:
"BEFORE ME, MRS. OLSON"
"BEHIND ME, JUAN VALDEZ"
"AT MY RIGHT HAND, M J B"
"AT MY LEFT HAND, THE BROTHERS HILLS"
"FOR ABOUT ME SWIRLS THE COFFEE AROMA"
"WITHIN ME SINGS THE CAFFEINE HIGH"
Drink the coffee, in communion with the spirits of the Sacred Coffee Bean. This last step may be usefully repeated as long as you like.

The Short Form:

Face to the East, whether you have risen before noon, or not. Raise your full mug of coffee, whether you take the bitter bean straight or put food in it, and salute the rising sun.

Take a big swig.

Raise your mug again to the East and say loudly, "God! I needed that!"

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