Many strange things and strange people can be found, if you look in the right places. If they're strange enough, you may have Adventures. The Reverend, the Girl, and the Infectowitch would never have met if it weren't for the Fire Demon, so as usual, it's all his fault. This is the story about how these three friends went to hear the Preaching Christians' seminar on the evils of rock and roll. It was supposed to be a minor Adventure, a lark.
First it should be told how they met. Of course it was because of The Fire Demon. He shared a house with the Misnamed, the Girl, a cat and a gekko. (The story of the gekko can be found elsewhere.) Although they delighted in each other's company, they wished they could have bigger parties.
To this end, the Fire Demon conceived of a plan. "We will advertise that we are forming a Pagan/Occult discussion group, and see who turns up." And so it was done. Among those who turned up were the expected flakes, kooks, and wackos. After several meetings, the antics of the Fire Demon trimmed down the size of the group. Eventually, it settled into a collection of those who were Seriously Wierd, in the best sort of way. Among the notables met were the Reverend, the God Emperor who had not yet come to know himself as such, and the Infectowitch (as she came to be known).
As a group, the pagans played. They Circled and chanted and purported to do Magick. They practiced and they pretended. The Girl and the Reverend would meet on the lawns of the place of learning, and blow blue globes of happiness at passersby. Sudden realizations of Inexplicable Absurdity were cast on members of the Tribes of Greek Letters, and domes of 'our own little world' were placed around lovers. They neither knew nor cared whether these things were real, but the Girl and the Reverend were pleased. They progressed.
Everyone agreed that the parties had certainly improved.
Back in those days before the God Emperor came to know himself as such, he spent a great deal of energy playing with the campus Preaching Christians. This was a sport in which others participated, for the group had a curious fascination for these friends. This was a sect of Christians who converted young and confused students. The specialty of the Preaching Christians was to convince normal college students that they were possessed by demons. They would then assimilate the gullible by initiatory/cult-mind-control exorcism. As proof of their fealty to their newfound religion, the converted youths would stand in a public place and preach loudly to passersby.
The tactics of this sect of Christians bothered the friends, but not so much that the sport of baiting the public Preachers ever went out of fashion. These Christians also sponsored seminars held at their house -- speeches one could attend to learn in lurid detail the evils of the world. Once, for a lark, the Reverend, the Infectowitch, the Girl went to one of their seminars, which purported to explain the 'evils of rock music'.
They had heard all their lives about messages hidden in rock albums, but had never had the means to play them backwards themselves. Such a seminar seemed to promise entertainment, opportunity to annoy the Preaching Christians, and a chance to learn whether "Number nine" played backwards really did sound like, "Turn me on, dead man."
A large crowd was in attendance at the appointed hour in the den of the Preaching Christians. The three friends took position in chairs near the center of the room. The Reverend took the middle seat, so they could share in his expected witty asides. The talk began, and for the first while, the Reverend commented. Eventually he fell silent. Eventually, the Girl became disturbed.
The content of the talk was typical of its type, but the conduct of the so-called seminar was all wrong. The speaker was a little different from the usual Preaching Christian. If anyone tried to leave, he or she was pointed out, ridiculed, and chastised for such rude behavior. Any questions were dismissed with an abrupt, "I'm giving this seminar, not you!" This violated the sensibilities of the Girl, and she began to look carefully at the speaker.
To her astonishment, he seemed limned in red. The Girl did not really believe in seeing auras, and was quite surprised at how clearly the red radiated. As she accepted this, she noticed that the words came out of his mouth companied by gusts of hatred. The speech began to feel like a physical assult. Quickly she visualized a shield which would filter out the evil, yet let her hear the words. This satisfied her. She was at least less disturbed, even though auroras of red leaked around her shield.
She leaned over to the Reverend to share the filtering trick (She learned learned later that she had interrupted his careful visualization of a baseball bat to the speaker's head.). He too created a filter, and was less disturbed. The Infectowitch, however, was the least experienced, and was not faring well. She could not maintain the suggested screen, and was too afraid to try to leave. She could not bear the thought of the speaker's attention being focused on her.
To aid their friend, the Reverend and the Girl circled hands with the Witch, the two women holding hands across the Reverend's stomach. They started to breathe in synch, helping the Infectowitch to let the sensations of Wrong pass through her. For nearly an hour they sat, hardly moving, breathing together. At last the so-called seminar ended (without even one old rock song played backwards). They were now free to leave without ridicule. The three friends sped to the door, not touching the proffered punch and cookies.
It was not their kind of party.
Before they could even get off the porch, one of the Preaching Christians came running after them. The polite Reverend paused at the hailing voice, and the three turned to face the chasing Christian.
"What are you?" He asked.
The Reverend took a deep breath, composed himself, and then answered brightly , "I'm a Qabbalist." He continued in the face of the Preaching Christian's confusion, "Much of Judeo-Christian practice is based in the Qabbala, which is the root of Hebrew Mysticism." The young Preacher seemed further distressed. "The Tree of Life means much more than a fruit that keeps you from dying," the Reverend added, helpfully.
This was more than the the Preaching Christian could understand. He turned toward the two women.
The Infectowitch told him she was a witch. This seemed easier for the Preaching Christian to handle. He had expected something like that.
He turned toward the Girl. "I'm a girl," she said.
As if her statement of the obvious restored his confidence, the Preaching Christian invited the trio back inside. He offered them refreshment, and further conversation. "You can tell me about this Caba-whatsit."
The Reverend politely declined, the Girl glowered, and the lovely Infectowitch withdrew to the shadows. There was No Way they were going back inside. It was, as has been mentioned, not their sort of party.
The three returned to the Reverend's car, pausing to help each other dissipate the feelings of Wrongness. They took each other into their arms for a long embrace. When they felt better, they separated and began to laugh, asking, "What the hell was that?" "Can you believe it?" "'I'm a Qabblist..'!? Oh, like he understood that"
As they began to get in to the Reverend's conveyance, their laughter suddenly stopped. The Christians were praying for them; they could feel it. They waited for the sensation to end. When the three looked up, the Girl and the Reverend could see it come toward them. They caught it. The two used their skill from the hours practicing on the lawn to coat the prayer with their signature blue glow. The Girl wore hippie leather headbands in those days, and they used the string like David's slingshot to send the adulterated prayers back at the Christians through the window.
They sent back a sentiment guaranteed to frighten the Preaching Christians:
"You will laugh and know joy."
