Adapting the QBL cross for the Chaostar

Some time ago I mutated the QBL cross so that one can cast a 3D chaostar with it. For me, this works well for either energy-raising or meditation. However, if I do the energy raising version without actually using the energy, I get a wicked headache right in the middle of my forehead.

For meditation I do it silently and seated. It can take about 10 minutes to do, or longer, and can be very energizing (w/o the headache). For the energy raising version, use both hands together, rather than the right hand in the usual QBL cross. I should warn you that it got stuck in my head, and for months I couldn't even do a standard Cross.

Here are my notes, with lots of side comments.

The QBL-Chaostar of the Small Denominational Order of Loose Change.

The Meditation.

This has you cast a chaostar that centers around the heart. I tend to use breaths to replace the physical motions usually associated with such a casting, like those described in the energy raising version below. Sit comfortably on the floor, back straight.

First axis:

Imagine a white light above your head. Think and breath silently, "Atoh." Extend the light so that it comes down through your head and through your body as a rod about 4 inches thick. As it comes down, extend it several inches into the floor beneath you as you think and breath, "Malkuth." The center of the rod should be at your heart.

Spend some time making it real. Think about ideal perfection and wordly reality. The dirty, sweaty, diaper-changing world and the perfect white light are just ends of a continuum.

First angled cross:

This spar extends from just over your right shoulder and slightly behind you to just over the floor slightly in front of you to your left. Form it from the center (heart) outward of the same stuff as the glowing rod that links Atoh to Makuth as you think and breath, "Ve-Geburah."

Spend some time making it real, and traveling along it. At the upper spar of the cross think about Power, from its highest manifestation. At the lowest is Power in its most squalid, small, mean power-over situation. See the contiuum. By "highest" I usually mean perfect self-control, complete power-from-within.

Second angled cross:

This spar extends from just in front of your left shoulder and slightly behind you to just over the floor slightly behind you to your right. Again, form it from the center (heart) outward as you think and breathe, "Ve-Gedulah."

Spend some time making it real, and traveling along it. Along the upper and lower spars think of Glory, from complete immanence (at the top) to the need for adulation so base that you lie to get praise from people you don't even respect.

Final center axis:

This forms from a light a few feet in front of you, crosses at the heart, and extends the same distance behind you. Form it as you think and breath, "Le Olahm." This is the line of time. The future stretches before you, the past behind; they meet where you are.

"AUM."

The heart is where all the lines cross at their centers. Do not expect to be perfected, and it may not necessarily be desireable. Yet do not allow yourself to sink to squalor and utter self-deception.

Sit for a while with the whole star.

Two things may be done at the end of the meditation.

one: Slowly collapse the star down into your heart. When it is within the heart, let it spin slowly until it devolves. The image of the Heirophant with the child dancing in his heart from the Thoth deck is useful here. "There is chaos in our hearts."

two: Shrink it into a sideways Hand of Eris and wear it on your forehead all day, with the time line still stretching fore and aft. This is a very odd thing to experience.

Notes:

People who are much much better QBLists than me can use it as a tree exercise, but for me it treats the Ladder more as a set of Monkey Bars, rather than specific paths. Also, the attributes to the cross points are lifted right out of Episcopalian mythology, for which I make no apology. Use the "right" thoughts, if you like.

Sometimes I sit with the star for quite a while before collapsing it. 'Tis best done slowly. Also, these images inform the 'energy raising' version as well. The name of the game is Balance. The Order likes to spin its coins on the edge, rather than deal only in 'heads' or 'tails'.

Energy raising version:

Stand, center. Be relaxed and ready before you begin.

Using both hands, either clasped, forefingers out, raised above your head. Do the typical visualization (white light, perfected self, HGA, whatever) while vibrating ATOH (or however you transliterate it).

Bring hands down against the body, so that your fingers brush your face and trace down your chest. At about the solar plexus, bend your wrists so that the fingers point down, and vibrate MALKUTH as you extend your arms down. Visualize the bright line your have just drawn, and keep it there. (For me, it looks like a long stick, glowing white, 3-4 inches in diameter, going from a foot above my head to halfway down my thighs. It goes through the body.)

Bring both hands to right shoulder. Raise right elbow until it forms a 45 degree angle with the the first (atoh-malkuth axis). Left elbow should do the same at the bottom. Separate hands while vibrating VE-GEBURAH. Visualize a similar bright line / glowing stick overlying your outstretched arms, extending beyond them, crossing the first axis at the heart.

Bring hands together again at the left shoulder, again, raise left elbow until it forms a 45 degree angle with the top of the first axis. Right elbow should do the same at the bottom. Separate hands while vibrating VE-GEDULAH. Visualize a similar bright line/ glowing stick that overlies your arms, crossing the first axis at the heart.

Bring hands together straight out from the body, clasped at heart level. Move them toward your chest as if stabbing yourself in the heart while vibrating LE OLAHM. When they reach the chest visualize a similar bright line / glowing stick extending through your body to about the same distance behind you.

Visualize where the lines cross, and keep them in your mind while intoning AMEN or AUM with the hands still at the heart. You should have

\ | /
\ * / Or thereabouts, with one more going into the
\|/ plane of the screen, through the body. The *
/|\ is about where your head is, and the bottom is
/ | \ about halfway down the thighs. This doesn't
/ | \ work, so look at the text version.

Collapse star into the heart while rotating it, forming a vortex. Direction of the vortex is optimal, but mine usually go clockwise if I'm the clock, counterclockwise if I'm looking at a clock. A quick collapse/spin can up the energy quite a bit. I find that the colors usually start to change at this point, even though I cast it in white.

Do something with it, or 'ware the headache.

Elements of the meditation are usually present when I cast it for energy purposes.

Let me know if you try it, and how you change it if you do.

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