kiss
14.march.99
... I think the girls like transactions. For example: the marriage, giving the home phone number, the kiss. (see Notes).
I don't see any particular difference between kiss and other feeling expressions. So my former acquaintance did. But we drew from it different conclusions. I thought that kissing in the public places is inappropriate. And she thought that this is the most delicious thing to do. But origin of our reasoning was the same. We thought that kissing and making love is the same thing at bottom of fact. And this is no mean that kissing was very important to us. And this doesn't mean that making love was very unimportant to us too.
But I don't want to say I was very shy of kissing in the public places. I only thought we could wait and save senses of other people. But for her a kiss in solitude lost a half of it pleasure.
And I don't know why but I never fancied of a kiss. I could use it and it didn't leave me cold in reality but it left me cold in dreams.
(Now I watch Lewis v HolyField, so my attention is a little bit distracted).
And somebody can think that first kiss is a good token, a mascot for begin of roman. - I don't know. I don't feel so. And probably many girls make great difference between kisses and other things. For example one girl liked kissing. And it was pervasive kisses with sucking of tongues and so on. (Ugh! What a loathsome thing on my present senses!) She took it alright. But other things were taboo to her. I know one must have patience, but what is the use?
Are you interested in my first kiss? I was a guest together with one girl. (We were with her girl friend in her (girl friend) home). And she (girl, with whom I came,) said: "Are you leaving us?" I said to myself: "What? Really?" and answered: "Oh, Yeah, I must go." And she asked: "And how about farewell kiss?" I didn't say "Wow!" I said: "Well." She was inviting me and I began to crane my neck to her but she withdrew her head - she was teasing me. Then I took her by the back of her head. So I made myself safe from furthest teasing from her part. And we began kissing. My intention was not her cheek but her lips. This was definite intention of mine. (Mind you I hold the back of her head now and had some advantage. And she yielded her mouth. And in this moment she protruded her tongue into my mouth. For a second it was unexpectedly to me but after that we went on as smoothly as possible. I can describe smacking the whole process but I don't make such task before me. I always wonder how swallows begin to fly. (no training, nothing in preparation and after that free unleashed fly). So it was with that kiss - ultimately splendid business. And after that I wasn't overwhelmed or overexcited. I simply was at ease and on velvet. There were no thoughts: "What ho! I used her!" or "What an old fox! She has got what she needed!" No, I haven't such thoughts, god bless me. My head was excellently vacant! (And add to this that I'm teetotaler. So my mind wasn't even poisoned). And I feel the sense of brilliant vacancy in the head is the pleasantest thing in the world.
(Lewis and HolyField finished. So I finished too. They went phut by the way.)