i remember the pain in my mother's eyes
i remember the pain of her compromise years ago
i always wanted to help make it go away... ~happy love

i tell myself that love is truly giving
somehow i justify this
hoping you will understand me
hoping you will love me back... ~i am so ordinary

now i'm 16 and i think i have an ulcer
i'm hiding my sex behind a dirty sweatshirt
i've lost five pounds these past few days
trying to be class president and get straight A's well
who gives a shit about that anyway
i just want to be a dog or a lump of clay... ~bethlehem

see the rush of horror in her eyes
she can't feel it
she can't feel it
she can't feel anything anymore... ~she can't feel anything anymore

look at how futile this is
i'm so weak, so fragile, so torn...
i am climbing a ladder of urgency
climbing a ladder of hope
climbing a ladder of my emotions
climbing a ladder of unraveling rope...
you see what you want to see
but i'm not what you wanted, no i'm not... ~the ladder