"Toasted souls?? What's this about toasted souls? I thought we were going to have Stove Top."
--Pepito talking to his mom, from the comic book "Squee and Pepito"
"You know as with all girls when they start to masturbate, they think their hands are going to fall off. And that was my worst fear, because as a piano player its like O NO! If its between masturbating and playing the piano...it is a tough decision actually."
"The Righteous Babes" - January, 1999
"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I took the checkered one."
--Kyle Schultz
"If a President of the United States ever lied to the American people, he should resign...No question that an admission of making false statements to government officials and interfering with the FBI is an impeachable offense."
- Bill Clinton
July & August, 1974
Referring to President Nixon
"Popularity is kinda like Tupperware--expensive plastic that's sold at parties."
" I am woman, hear me roar!"
-Helen Reddy
"The trapeze--first time for fear, second time for fun--just like sex!"
-Kaydi, a Circus of the Kids coach
"Only dead fish swim with the stream. Question authority."
To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer.
Don't talk to the British, no one understands them.
Honey, where's the gerbil?
anyone who says that cloths don't make the man is a fool because no one ever acomplished anything important naked.
Mark Twain
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
"Me and Charles Manson like the same ice cream."
--Tori Amos
When someone passes gas in public, you can't help but giggle
~someone Lindy overheard
"It's not easy being green."
-Kermit the Frog
"Plop, plop, plop....that's a cool word, plop...."
--Carla Kibler
Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
With that long blonde hair you'll be the first one to get traded off for cigarettes
~the Lone Gunmen
Sure Baby, my Kung-Fu is the best
~Lone Gunmen
"Don't torture yourself Gomez, that's my job."
--Morticia Adams
"Here, I insist, take my toothbrush!"
--Katie Scott
I wanna be a junkie when I grow up!
~T.V. ad against drugs
Thou shalt not throw coins into the holy water!
~Church where Casey and Andrew got their eagle awards
"A true friend is a one who stabs you in the front."
- Unknown
"If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman."
--Margaret Thatcher
"But what would we do with out our ass holes?"
--Tori Amos
" Sure, you say that now. But when you're playing strip poker with the monkeys and you realize they don't wear clothes, you'll think differently. "
there are lies...there are great lies then there are statistics.
Einstein
Here's how a phone works: take a cat, put one end in Boston and the other in
Las Vegas. If you yank on the tail you'll get noise at the other
end.
Einstein
"I wouldn't wish for you to die, but I can say please go to hell."
Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun.
Bruce Camble in Army of Darkness
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
"He was very fond of little girls. (He disliked little boys)."
--Louis Untemeyer on Charles Dodgeson (Lewis Carrol).
thats great.
Mr.Englert
thats nice.
Mr.Englert
thats a shame.
Mr.Englert
What do you want, you moon-faced assasin of joy?
Jesse Harris
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
(in 13 words how would you descibe your fellow band members) "bastards
bastards bastards bastards bastards bastards bastards bastards bastards
bastards bastards bastards bastards".
Simon Gallop
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
"How do you know I suck?"
--Kyle Schultz
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!"...until you can find a rock.
Diplomacy: The art of letting someone have your way.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
"I like fire works, but stars are nice too".--NYC Cab Driver
"Middle age is when you have a choice of two temptations and choose the one
that will get you home earlier."
- Unknown
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
-- Albert Einstein
"Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it."
- Harold S. Hulbert
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
"Ah if only it were true. An ice cream planet. What a wonderful world it would be."
--David Brin Earth
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Love quotes
God quotes
Deep Thoughts
Bumper Stickers
poetry
the embrace
about me
links
la dee la dee da... just figured i'd write something in this space they have alotted me... is that how you spell "alotted"? "allotted"? "alloted"?
on love -"its like sex... its like tying someone down spread eagle and bringing them to the brink of ultimate release, then turning off the lights and leaving the room for a few hours" SILVERADO_LAS VEGAS_RIOT GRRLS_SEAMONKEY_TUBA_PHILOSOPHE_i SMITE THEE :P
© 1998 UrielsPoet@aol.com
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