i would trust him with my life. in a way i do, everyday. i love him in a way i never thought anyone could. it bothers me. perhaps i should call.
he has never attempted to convince me, or force any idea of god into my head. i think he may just assume that i believe him. i think maybe i should. everything he has ever taught me and shown me is based on the belief of a heaven and a hell, a god and a devil.
i was raised without religion. in some ways i resent that. i have always seen religion as something to believe in and explian the bad things that happen. it give people hope, something to tell them how to act, promise them everything they've ever wanted if they praise and worship some higher being. it would be greatly reassuring if there were some higher being controlling everything and keeping everyone in order. but wanting something to believe in so much just allows you to believe in the first idea or concept that you are subjected to.
is that what i have come to? looking so hard for something to believe in that i'm beginning to believe in anything? that's not what i want. i must try to continue my research into religion from a subjective point of view. i can't get too attatched.
this country was founded on a strong belief in religion, and so many different types of religion are still alive. how can people so blindly take their faith?
god, are you out there? i'm looking, but i can't quite see you. i'm waiting...
- fallen
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