thoughts of the day

hee hee hee...

............... ...

"Once again I marvel."

wow... someone actually goes to my page... sometimes, writing through a web page, i feel so disconnected like no one is paying attention. or perhaps only my friends go because they want to hear about themselves somewhere. or perhaps they go because i force them to or they feel forced. maybe no one goes at all, besides em. maybe not even she goes, just likes to humor me. maybe all of the hours figuring and fighting with this damned computer for this damned website was for naught. maybe it's pointless and worthless and i should stop. maybe i should get a guestbook.

lonely nights and feeling a little too sober. telling drunk stories in Algebra 2 and listening to them talk about southern Texas racism in Trig/Prob/Stat.

is this what it's all for?

is this what life is for? to be boerd and scared and tierd and overworked. to wonder and laugh and cry. to fall down and get back up and get back up and get back until you can't fall down anymore.

staring at the sun. it's so red in the morning.

"Wouldn't it be nice to have blue skies for once instead of all that yellow around the mountains?"

las vegas, las vegas, vegas, vegas, vegas. built on sin, but i like it that way. dirty, but i like it that way. all of the people can go. the nameless, faceless people who walk around with their cameras and their false teeth.
who said las vegas was like linoleum?

random thoughts. blender thoughts. feeling lonely. nothing better to do. wishing someone would read this. wanting wanting wanting. lust after boys all you like, lust after the straight girls all you like, neither of them will touch you.

iris just came on. what do i do? cry? i feel like it sometimes. i can try to make myself, but you can't fight the tears that aren't coming. i think i'd feel better, but they don't come out and i don't get mad, anymore, just go lay down and try to dream. i live there. live from dream to dream to night to night to bath, because they can't bother you while you're naked, to dreading phone calls and doubly dreading group therapy.

don't ever get a shrink, they're worthless.

- UrielsPoet

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