June 16, 2003

Oh wow. I haven’t felt a day so full and topsy turvy since forever and I’m sure I don’t want to, ever again.

I started off this morning waking up at 6:30 am in my bed in Maryland. Of course, though I’ve had loads of time to pack, I was a mess this morning and got into this huge screaming fest with my mother that lasted up to the time we pulled up to BWI. Then, of course, my need for her intensified and I gotta admit, what she said about this impending month made sense, or maybe, I just wanted it to.

It was hardest leaving her behind as I went through the gate I think; once on the other side, I felt so alone but I clutched my Star of David, said the shema, and found my gate (calling her and dad a few times while in line for the plane, of course.)

The flight itself was fine; I’d been on an airplane so recently for my trip to Kansas that it felt rather familiar. I was in group B and got a window seat… the clouds varied from puffy to hazy to nonexistent during our five hour trip, and the ground was so varied…

While lifting off from Baltimore, I was struck by the mix of nature and industry, plus the curly designs neighborhoods made near the Midwest, vast agriculture was displayed in geometric designs and had I sat on the other side of the plane, I would have seen the grand canyon.

On the ground, I immediately called my parents… despite the palm trees and dry atmosphere, I was still trying to convince myself that I was close to Maryland. I faltered a bit in trying to find baggage claim and then had trouble lugging them around; my green rollaway was actually labeled as heavy.

A little more guessing later and I was standing at a sign outside of LAX that said something to the effect of hotel shuttles. 15-20 minutes later, the Furama one pulled up. I was considering myself lucky, navigating the journey safely, but my luck was about to run out.

When I got to Furama, I found the lobby empty of BCI staff. I was confused; the email clearly stated they’d be here. I asked the woman at registration and she said they were in room 155A… I spent two hours lugging my heavy bags back and forth until someone finally found me.

…a volunteer named Rob took me back to 155A once my luggage had been packed onto the BCI bus. He explained that they’d been waiting outside; I’d obviously missed it. He said they were so concerned that they were about to call Baltimore to make sure I got on my flight. I’m just glad he pointed out a bathroom then; if I’d stayed there much longer, the tears would have started flowing in public. I tried to calm down and take in his friendly attitude, but I couldn’t really stop from feeling as though I’d made a big mistake and wanted to go home.

I met the next batch of BCIers as they came from their flights. Susan goes to Swarthmore like Meg, Michelle just reeks of charisma and Josh is just this nice and soft spoken guy from Canada… but they all had these Hillel stories to share. Real hillels, with members and activism and popularity. And then, we all went to an alum’s house for dinner, where everyone was recounting Israel stories. (These people lived in Beverly Hills and all I could focus on was the fact that I’d never been to Israel!)

My host picked me up after the meal, plus another hostee, a girl named Illana who’d lived in Israel until she was 4, and the two of them talked of their multiple trips… then, this girl (Arielle) who happened to be from Baltimore started talking to me… she happened to go to Beth Tfiloh for high school and I was never so ashamed of my decision to attend St. Paul’s…

So I called my mom around 10:30 their time and although I’m not sure why, I nelieve her that I’m just as much of a person as these religious activist, Israel-bound Jews. Maybe I was just too tired to fight her advice and speaking of that, I’m going to bed after an 18-hour, trans-country day. See you again at BCI!