All gifs/logos by Tamii Trent, ©1999
At first, after Shea had introduced herself, she and Jax tiptoed around each other. Jax, sensing her uneasiness, broke the ice by allaying her fears.
"You know, I just told you what is for me the most painful thing in the world. Somehow though, I'm okay with that. It's like I know I can trust you, even though we just met. Does that sound insane?"
"No, not really." She toyed with the engagement ring still on her finger. "I don't know why for sure. Maybe because you saved my life." She smiled dryly at him before continuing.
"Afterall, if I can trust you with my life, everything else should be easy..." She paused again while in the midst of a deep thought. Maybe this is similar to an instance where two people go home together after a night at the tavern. They bare their souls to one another because they don't plan on meeting again."
Jax smiled as a flicker of the past came back to him. As usual, Brenda's words came back to fill his thoughts. He could see her so clearly every time something brought up another memory. He was beginning to resign himself to seeing, feeling and hearing her at every turn.
"Brenda once told me that if you save a life, you're responsible for it. Well, I'm the type of guy who likes to make sure his investments pay off." He leaned forward in such a way so as to make her look up at him.
"Unless you have some sort of objection to that?"
Shea opened her mouth to reply, but didn't. She watched amused as the smile spread even wider across his face. Finally they both began to chuckle at the cautious exchange of words they'd just shared. Instantly, it felt to them that in each other they'd found a way to lift some of the burden off their shoulders.
They talked for some time, agreeing to keep the conversation light. Mostly they talked of happier times with their families, and of each other's respective careers and aspirations.
"Ok, so let me get this. You are a vulture of the business world. How profound!" She eyed the contradiction in front of her.
"Well, actually, I like to think of myself more as a wolf waiting for the sheep to get complacent..." He grinned roguishly to set her off.
"But I happen to really like sheep Mr. Jacks! So what do you suggest I do with you now?" Her eyes flared to meet his challenge.
"What any good shepard would do, I guess." He looked at her with a fixed, blank stare. She cocked a dubious eyebrow suspiciously in his direction.
"Oh? And just what would any good shepard do?"
"I don't know! I'm the wolf, remember?" Jax shrugged his shoulders as his eyes grew wide with feigned innocence.
"Shepards aren't in the habit of sharing their secrets with me, unless you plan on enlightening me...?"
He let his voice trail off as the mischeivious glint popped back into his eyes. Shea's own eyes flickered then simmered back to normal. There was something familiar about Jax. She couldn't quite place her fingers on it, but it was something about the look he just got in his eyes. Shaking her head she turned back to face him, but he was staring into the fire.
"Jax?"
She rested her hand hesitently on his shoulder and he turned back to face her.
"I have to get back." His look of apology confused her a little.
"Back where?"
"Home. I left a friend at my penthouse and she doesn't know where I've gone." Jax's face was a myriad of emotions, which made her even more curious.
"A friend?"
"My fiancee's best friend, the woman who technically brought us together."
"Ahhhh." Where the hell had that twinge of jealousy come from? She had only just met the man. She wasn't one given to fanciful thoughts about strange men, and despite what she and Jax had shared tonight they hardly knew each other.
Jax smiled almost shyly.
"I had a tremendous crush on Lois when I first met her. Tried to steal her away from her husband. She would have none of it."
Shea's eyes bugged slightly at his confession.
"How do you feel about her now?"
'Well, we're all allowed to be young and foolish once, right?'
"Yes. Yes we are..." Shea visibly drifted back to somewhere else and Jax watched her. She noticed him watching her and she frowned, snapping back to the fire before them and the warmth it infused into her.
"Actually, I couldn't live without Lois." Jax's eyes darkened, "I wouldn't be alive right now if it weren't for her. Her husband sent her best friend to return a gift I had sent to her. That's the first time I ever saw Brenda..." He drifted a bit himself then, and forced his attention back to the current situation.
"I hate to leave you here alone. "
"No, it's okay. Really Jax, I'll just go back to the hotel..."
"You'll stay here. " Her eyes widened once again.
"No, I couldn't! I mean...I also have someplace to be. In fact maybe I'll head for th airport myself."
"If you don't mind stopping by my beach house for a few minutes, we could ride there together." At least this way he could make sure she didn't stay out on the beach moping in soggy clothes.
"Sure," Shea stood up and tried brushing the sand off herself. She stopped in frustration, realizing what a futile task it was considering the fact that it was caked on her. She looked at her watch and was shocked at the time that had passed all too quickly.
Jax doused the fire and grabbed the blanket. He offered her his hand and she took it. They started walking down the beach, under a sky now filled with stars. She looked up just as one shot across the sky. In her mind she saw herself again as a young girl. Okay, not so young. Standing outside the bed and breakfast she had inherited from her parents, Shea stood wrapped in the arms of a devastatingly handsome man. He was the son of her mother's best friend from college. They had watched a star shooting across the sky with the same feelings of hope that she watched it with now. Had it really only been 3 years ago? Now it seemed an eternity…
"What are you thinking about?" His breath was warm against her neck, and his hand skimmed up her stomach until it was just below her breast. It rested there, stroking softly, turning her into a jibbering fool.
"About the future."
He had rested his chin on her shoulder and laughed.
"What about the future?"
"Oh, I don't know. About our future." Her eyes never leaving the spot where the shooting star had been, she reached back to gently tug at his hair.
"So, is our future written up there somewhere in the heavens?" She loved his voice. It was husky, cocky, mischievious, and roguish, all wrapped into one sexy package. It made her melt every time it whispered alluringly to her.
"You tell me. What do you see up there?"
"I see infinite possibilities. I see you…I see me…I see forever." Again the voice was in her ear, quickening her pulse.
"Shea?"
"Yes?"
"Marry me."
"So here we are!" Jax eyed Shea as he opened the door to the house. She seemed lost in another time, another place. She had the same look he knew he had when he thought about Brenda.
"Thinking about Jim?"
"Mmm, yeah." Something in her tone didn't ring quite true, but Jax wasn't about to deny her any privacy right now. Shea shook herself back into the present. There was no time to get lost in the past. That would take her focus off her goal; finding her husband to ask him for a divorce.
"Shea?"
"Sorry, Jax. I lost track of myself there for a second."
"It's okay. I know."
She saw the look in his eyes and smiled slightly.
"You do, don't you?"
She brushed at her pants again and Jax grinned.
"Let me see if I can find something for you to wear. "
"No, Jax. You've done so much for me already..."
"Pshhh!" Jax waved his hand dismissively and headed upstairs. He stopped when he saw the light on his answering machine blinking. His heart thundered in his chest as he walked over to it.
"JAX Where the hell are you? Get back to Port charles now! "
He turned to grin at Shea.
"Your friend?" She smiled right back at him. "I take it that's Lois?"
"That's Lois." He hit the machine for the next message.
"I mean it JASPER! I know you're there! Get your ass back here before the troops come searching for you!"
"So, Jasper, is she a drill seargent by profession?"
"Damn near!" Jax laughed, shaking his head in sympathy for Shea. Lois' accent was a bit overwhelming if you weren't used to it.
"Hey would you mind hitting that last message? I'm going to run and get my bag."
"Alright." Shea hit the button to play the next message and looked around the living room. It was mediteranean styled and cozy. Her eyes drifted to the mantle where there was a picture there of Jax and a beautiful woman. They had their arms around each other and they were laughing. She figured that this was the fiancee he had just lost. It was such a shame. They truly looked like they were in love.
"Jax, Sweetie? It's Brenda! I miss you! Come home! Oh hell, honey, just skip the meeting and come home! I love you!"
She put the picture back and turned around to see Jax staring at the answering machine, an expression of shock and disbelief on his face.
The beep of the machine sounded harsh in Jax's mind. The room spun and his stomach rolled. Her voice…she had sounded so happy, so in love. He walked to the machine and pulled the tape from it. He gripped it in his hand for what seemed like forever before putting it in his shirt pocket. He wanted it near his heart. He looked up at Shea, pleading with his eyes. She merely shook her head and gave him an understanding smile. No words, she told him, no explanations necessary.
"Shall we?" She needed to break the immobilizing tension in the room.
Jax nodded against the lump in his throat. Turning off the light he led Shea outside, closing the door behind him with a gut-wrenching sense of finality.
