Chapter 16

Jax stopped short at the door of the oceanfront home. He stared at the keyhole as memories soared through his mind. He replayed the conversation he and Brenda had when they first arrived here. He’d told her about his friend Thomas and the walkabout he’d taken as a young boy. He also told her about his own walkabout, and the scolding he’d received afterward. He remembered the look on Brenda’s face as he gave her the Aboriginal charm that Thomas had given him so long ago. Her smile had set the whole room on fire to him. The house now seemed so cold and lost without her laughter, and her sexy playfulness. He didn’t want to think about what had happened in the penthouse today, but he wanted to think about the emptiness here even less. Feeling utterly defeated and exhausted, Jax sat down on the patio chair and gazed out at the ocean and let himself drift back and forth on each wave that touched the shore.

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Shea threw her rental car into 5^th gear and pursed her lips tightly together. Even after five hours of sitting on a plane, she still couldn’t get her thoughts together. She was on the 105 Freeway and swearing under her breath for not being able to get over fast enough to make the 405 interchange. She watched as the exit ramp flew by at a 75mph clip.

"Damn! All right, fine. The 110 it is!"

The sun had already gone down by the time her plane had landed at LAX, but amber and magenta hues still streaked low across the sky. She usually loved this time of evening in Los Angeles. On a Saturday night around 6:30 – 7:00 pm, things started to come alive. The sky grew vibrant with charcoal clouds and palm trees silouhetted against it. As those colors grew more faint, the city grew brighter. Shea had always liked LA better than New York. True, there weren’t as many skyscrapers, but it didn’t detract from the city’s beauty at all. In fact, LA seemed so much more personal to Shea. There was a magic about the city that couldn’t be defined by simple words. It was something to be experienced. It either spoke to your soul or it didn’t, but if it did, you were hooked. Lost to it forever. She loved her home in Glen Etive, but Los Angeles had settled its own little niche into her heart. As she drove up the 110, she felt some sanity return to her harried mind. The city loomed majestically ahead like a friend welcoming her back. After being here several times, she’d learned to block out the smell of the smog and relish the subtle scent of the ocean on the breeze. She pushed the sunroof open on the Supra to let more of it in. She decided missing the 405 had been a good thing after all, and opted to take the longer scenic route. She was still in a state of rage and humiliation, so she thought it better to take the extra time to calm down before heading to her chosen destination. Picking up the cell phone on the console, she asked the operator to dial the Chateau Marmont.

"Hello? Yes, this is Shea Rannoch… Rolf, hello! Fine, yourself? That’s good! I’d like to make a reservation for one. Yes, if it’s available. It is? Wonderful. Honestly, I don’t know Rolf. Will that be a problem? At least two weeks I’d say. Could be longer though. No, no shows this time. Just here to… Yeah, vacation. I needed a breather. Oh you have NO idea… Yes, to the card as usual. Mmm, I’m sorry but I don’t know that either… Might be late. You’re wonderful as always Rolf! Thank you, I’m looking forward to staying again too. I’ll see you soon. Bye."

She set the phone back in its cradle and allowed herself a small smile. When the 101 came up, she took the exit. The skyscrapers now behind her, she focused on the lights of Hollywood. Ahead and to her right, she could see intermittent flashes of tourist cameras from Griffith Park Observatory. The glow of light just above it told her there was a concert going on at The Greek. She loved seeing shows there. The ampitheater was nestled into the hill with the trees of the surrounding park encircling the stage and seats. It was cozy and intimate, so far as ampitheaters could be. Although she couldn’t actually see it now, she knew that just off to the right was the infamous Hollywood sign. Each year they auctioned off the ownership of the sign in order to better maintain it. By auctioning it instead of asking for public donations, the city was able to generate far more cash than they might otherwise, and for one year some lucky person could boast the trademark rights to the landmark. Shea tapped her fingers thoughtfully on the steering wheel. It was fast approaching that time of year again. Maybe she’d look into the conditions of bidding. Not being a bonafide US citizen might trip her up, but she’d never know if she didn’t find out.

She glanced to the left at the Capitol building. For two years she’d been a regular to this area. She loved the Pantages and Wiltern theaters. Pantages had that beautiful ceiling and classic broadway setup. She’d definitely missed it here. Too bad she’d waited until now to come back. She and Jim had only been here two days before the accident had occurred. She blinked back the tears as that night came back to her. Up ahead she saw the sign for Barham Road. She took the exit and then turned left on Barham. Just a ways up the road was the turn for Mulholland Drive. It seemed like ages since she’d taken this drive. She smiled slightly to herself as she threw the Supra into a lower gear to climb the hill. Part of the way up, she pulled the car over to the turnout. To he left downtown Los Angeles twinkled in the distance. Shea turned the ignition off and rolled down the window. There is was: The Quiet Hum. That was what she called it. Up in the hills it was always quiet, but there was a soft humming of noise from the valleys below. All those individual noises meshed and blended into one faint hum up here. To Shea it was soothing and peaceful.

She wasn’t sure how long she sat there, but a sudden pang in her gut made her start the engine and abruptly leave. The bad thing about Mulholland, of course, is that it’s not a road one takes when in a hurry. The twists and turn just go on forever. By the time Shea finally saw the turn for Las Virgenes Road, she nearly wept with relief. Almost there…

Thirty minutes later Shea parked the car in the driveway and all but exploded from the driver’s side. The winter rains had started early this season and a soft drizzle was coming down. Although she’d stopped earlier to compose herself, Shea was aware of a tense urgency rebuilding in her stomach. There was a pressure in her chest growing worse by the minute. Her pace up the long flight of steps quickened until she was practically sprinting up them. She finally reached the door and began pounding on it, near hysteria as tears welled in her eyes. Cold fingers of panic clutched at her while she waited for an answer. He had to be home. He just had to be. She was about to knock again when the door was quickly flung open. Pale blue eyes glared at here with annoyance, then widen first with surprise then concern.

"Shea? Good God, what’s wrong?"

Shea remembered all too well what those arms had felt like, and in her current state could only equate them with refuge and safety. With only a moment’s hesitation she flung herself into them and began to sob loudly.

Jax reached out and closed the door, then brought his hands up to slowly rub Shea’s back while she hiccuped into his chest. He couldn’t imagine what could have happened in such a short amount of time. Jax’s lip curled derisively. Then again, he knew from today’s experience just how quickly life could turn upside down and fall to pieces. Still, the last time he’d seen Shea they were turning her rental car in at the airport. Not wanting to disturb the mood of the moment, they’d simply exchanged cards with sincere promises to call one another.

"Shea, can you tell me what’s wrong?"

The head buried in his shoulder sniffled, then shook sideways in the negative. Jax turned her around and led her to the sofa to sit down. He continued to stroke her back and hair as soothingly as possible.

"Sshhhh. Whatever it is, it’ll be okay. Sshh. It’s all right, Shea. You’re safe here with me. You know that, right?"

Shea nodded her head and hiccuped again. Jax handed her a Kleenex from behind the sofa, and she wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

"Yes."

"Then tell me what happened. At least a general idea. Maybe I can help you."

She pulled away from him and fiddled with a fresh Kleenex. She took a deep breath.

"I went to Port Charles."

Jax’s eyes flew open wide with surprise. He allowed her to continue uninterrupted though.

"You remember that I told you that Jim and I believed my husband was probably dead? Well I had gotten a lead that my husband might be there. I arrived at the airport and had some time before my luggage came through, so I thought I’d give you a call to say thank you. I saw the address on your card and nearly fell over. I then had the idea that I would come see you and surprise you. I wanted to ask for your help again, but this time to hunt down my husband or at least what happened to him. Turns out I was the one that got the surprise."

"Oh no. Did you and Lois have a clash of personalities…?"

"No! Under the circumstances, I thought she seemed rather sweet! That’s when I saw him…"

"Who?"

"My husband."

"In my penthouse??"

"Yes. I think he must have been a friend of Lois’, but I didn’t stick around to find out. When he came out with the ice cream, I just lost it and ran."

"Lois’ friend was eating my ice cream?"

"Jax, I really just don’t want to talk about it…"

"I’m sorry. Of course you don’t. Come here." He pulled her back into his arms and held her. A thought occurred to him and he couldn’t help but ask.

"So is Rannoch your married name?"

"No. Rzeznik is my married name."

Jax smiled to himself.

"I like Rannoch better anyway."

Shea hugged him tightly and closed her eyes.

"So do I. So do I."

  ** "Dear Heart" By Monica Mancini. From the album Monica Mancini

All gifs/logos by Tamii Trent, ©1999

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