Chapter 26

"Shea, what would you think about leaving town?" Jax steered the car they were in west, heading for the 405 Freeway. They were on the way back to Jax’s house and, in true Jax style, his question came completely out of nowhere. Shea raised a weary eyebrow at him, but still managed to get in a humorous jab.

"Why, have I worn out my welcome?"

Jax chuckled softly and shook his head. He glanced up at his rearview mirror. The frown was so slight that Shea almost missed it.

"Absolutely not. I meant go away with me. I need to get away Shea. I need to be somewhere neutral for a little while."

"I can certainly understand that. Where did you have in mind?" A sliver of trepidation crept up her spine. She had no idea why, but she felt uneasy. The oceanside home had become a safety net for her, and the thought of leaving didn’t really sit right with her at the moment. She trusted Jax and resolved to keep an open mind. The fact that something else seemed to be bothering Jax didn’t make it very easy to do though.

"Well I have a cabin up in Canada…" Again, he checked his mirror. Although his expression was decidedly guarded, the subtle pursing of his lips spoke volumes to Shea.

"Uh-huh. Cabin huh? Just a cabin?"

Again Jax laughed. Shea already knew him so well. He acquiesced good-naturedly and continued his pitch.

"Okay, well it’s actually a house…but I tried to give it a real cabin-like coziness! Anyway, the point is that it’s safe. There are no ghosts there, no memories of my life with Brenda. There are no momentos lurking around every corner. I need that. I need to try to refocus my direction because right now I’m wandering blindly around in a thick fog. I can’t see and I feel claustrophobic. My heart is so empty right now that I have to run. I have to run away from it for now, otherwise I…" He swallowed at the tightness in his throat. Shea reached for where his hand rested on the stickshift and gave it a tight squeeze. She looked at him with brows furrowed slightly and a thin lipped smile.

"I know."

Jax stole a quick glance at her. He returned his gaze to the road and let out a long, pent up breath.

"You know, watching Miguel tonight… it made me realize just how all encompassing Brenda was in my life. She’s gone, but she’s still everywhere. Everywhere I go…everything I do, it’s all dripping with her spirit. There is nothing around me that hasn’t been touched by her or carry some profound memory. The pain of it is going to drive me mad if I don’t get out from under it somehow. The intensity is just... Well, I can't escape it here. Not at all." Jax felt himself growing warm with the strain of trying to find the right words to explain. He reached up and turned on the vents in the car, then cracked his window.

"It’s overwhelming. Jax, I know. I understand." She had been staying with Jax for that very same reason. The Chateau was wonderfully accommodating, but there were so many memories of Jim visiting; staying the night with her there. Jax however, had received no such reprieve.

"So you’ll go?" The hope in his voice was evident. Being alone in the cabin would no more serve the purpose than staying in Malibu.

"I’ll go." She smiled at him visibly relaxing in his seat. "Oh, but I’ll need to run by the Chateau and pick up some things."

"Or we could just buy them when we get there…" He shot her a roguish grin that was so familiar to her it actually unsettled her a bit. He obviously didn’t want to stick around any longer than necessary, in fact he seemed anxious to leave immediately.

"Don’t be silly. I have what I need at the Chateau – clothes that are already worn in and the like…" She caught yet another furitive glance at the mirror, but didn’t dare turn around to look. It might just be her imagination running on overdrive. With that thought she decided that Jax would tell her in his own good time if something was amiss.

"Okay. I just need to get turned around here…"

Shea stared at him with wide eyes.

"You meant tonight? Right now?"

"Yeah."

"You’re kidding!"

"No, I’m serious! Why not? Did you have other plans?"

Shea’s jaw dropped in disbelief, but then shut just as quickly. She was talking to Jasper Jacks afterall. She shrugged and almost giggled.

"No. If tomorrow’s not soon enough for ya Mr. Jacks, then far be it for me to protest!"

"Great, then it’s settled!" He pulled the car over to the side of the side street and looked around before doing a U-turn. The sudden sharp bleep of a squad car made Jax jump for a split second before shooting a treacherous look over at Shea who grinned back at him like a kid.

"Ha ha. You’re so funny!" He reached over and pinched her arm playfully. She pinched him right back.

"Gotcha!"

"You did no such thing."

"Oh, Jax, I had ya big time!"

"Did not…!" Jax played along with mock indignation. He kept a jovial expression, but inside he was seething mad. He shot a quick look up at the rearview mirror. Reflected in it was the almost inconspicuous Camry that had been following him since they left Barney’s. Jax had a pretty good idea who was behind the tail, and planned on dealing with it when they got to the hotel.

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Jax pulled his cell phone out of his jacket. He glanced around the corner of the hotel room where Shea was meticulously folding clothes and packing them into her suitcase. She looked up as he started to dial.

"Calling for flight information…"

She nodded and walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. Jax waited for the line to pick up.

"David. Jax here. Listen I need the jet ready right away to go up to Canada… Yeah, Saskatoon…What? Who ordered that? Fine, find me a charter ASAP… Yeah use my cell number." He snapped the phone off angrily and ran the back of his hand across his forehead. The room felt warm so he took off his jacket and slung it over the armchair. He heard Shea washing up in the other room and picked the phone back up.

Again he waited for the answer on the other end, but this time was greeted by horrendous static. Without waiting for it to clear up, Jax launched into a venomous tirade.

"Jerry did you hire an investigator to spy on me? I'm not a child! Stop it now! You tell your buddy, whoever he is to back off! I mean it Jerry! I better not see that ass tailing me again." He paused to listen, but the static still remained.

"Can you hear me? I TOLD you that thing was a piece of shit! Get a better phone Jerry!" Jax continued on, not caring if he could hear Jerry’s retorts or not. At least he couldn’t interrupt.

"I told you once at the hospital Jerry! I'm not going to kill myself! You don't need to tail me. Leave it alone!" He stopped as he turned to face Shea standing in the doorway.

"Jax, what’s wrong? Who in the world are you talking to?" She frowned worriedly at him and gestured to her packing. When he didn’t answer her she let it drop.

"Do we need to get going? Will we still make our flight if I take a quick bath?"

Jax listen for just a moment before shrugging his shoulders and hanging up. He forced himself to calm down then spoke.

"It should be just fine."

"I’m sorry. I tried washing up, but I still smell like smoke from The Greek." She bit her lip at the expression on Jax’s face.

"It’s probably in my hair. I just want to take a shower to get it out…"

"No really, it’s fine. Take your time. David still has to find us a charter." He forced a grin at her even though he was beginning to feel sick.

"I thought you had like three or four planes parked out here."

"I do. Three of them." He nodded and explained further. "Two of them I won’t let anyone else fly but me. The other is in for its monthly maintenance and won’t be available for two more days. Since I don’t feel up to flying tonight, we’re stuck with chartering a private jet."

"Oh. Well, why don’t you settle in for a bit while I take my bath. I won’t be long." She paused at the bathroom door and looked back at him.

"Jax, if you’re feeling ill, Rolf could probably scare up something for you. Just call down there."

"I’ll be alright. I’ll just kick back and relax. You should do the same; I don’t know how fast David will find us a flight." He lightly tossed the phone on the couch. Shea still looked worried.

"Okay, if you’re sure…"

"I am." He flashed her a bright smile and flopped down into the armchair. The minute she stepped back into the bathroom his smile fell and he rubbed his throbbing temples. He felt a bout of nausea coming on and gritted his teeth, determined to fight it off. He thought the fever might be back again, but tried to ignore it. Soon David would call and then they would be on their way to Canada where sanctuary awaited to heal some of the wounds…