I use to feel so ugly
like my life's beat was a waste,
Like the birth of me
was bad judgement made in haste.

Now I've seen that the path I chose
may have been all wrong,
But that choice I took
never silenced my life's song.

I always looked to others
for the forgiveness I so wanted,
Always looked outside for acceptance
while inside I felt so haunted.

But now I see the truth
it's as plain as plain can be,
I must forgive myself
it is all up to me.

The steps I once took
may have made life's journey long,
But I'll still end up
where my spirit does belong.

The past can only cloud
the today you try to live,
So I must let it go
learn the love, to myself to give.

The words echo in my mind
you spoke today so true,
Sometimes you must wait
to find what's real in you.

I've hidden what I believe
and have no one to blame but me,
I can't excuse away it all
on what he gave so free.

Yes, his hurting words
and angry, lie filled soul,
Initially brought the fear
but it was me who LET it grow.

Sometimes a simple look
or a word or two on time,
can make sense of life
when there is no reason, no rhyme.

So it's I who must take
the ropes on this life I lead,
Got to learn to adjust it some
and to the inner voice take heed.

Within the confines
of the life I use to live,
A scared little girl
afraid, but still willing to give.

Afraid of the anger
so easily brought to bear,
Afraid of the hatred
that always seemed so near.

I tried to be what he wanted
tried the best I knew how,
Pampered and begged
but look at me now.

I've changed so much
these past years, I now realize,
Can't live like that
can't carry on with the lies.

I've sprouted wings again
like I once use to abide,
Time to fly on past
the fear that dwells inside.

So watch me soar
like an eagle up above,
Look as I learn again of life
and hopefully of love.

You can't live on yesterdays
or 'what ifs' and 'might have beens',
Must live for today
and let the tomorrows begin.

Yesterday is dead and gone
no more to see the suns light,
Yet tomorrow is unwritten
a winged hope taking flight.

So dwell no more
on what was-once  before,
It can't be changed
just close that creaky door.

Open up the future
it can be so rich and true,
If only you believe
in the strength in you.

Sometimes all the things I fear
suddenly I so clearly seem to see,
Makes me want to run back
to the childhood, so safe inside of me.

But life is surely knocking
upon my spirits closed door,
Begging to be let in
telling me it's time to soar.

Undo the chains, unbar the locks
there's still time to open it wide,
Let loose all the grown up love
that for so long did hide.

The beauty there will shine forth
all that I know, I'm willing to share,
No more to quietly fade away
it's time to show I care.

All the way from Alaska
to the Missouri rocks and hills,
Nothing can stop the Creator
if it is to be his will.

I know He meant it so
for our paths to meet awhile,
And He will also show if they are
meant to last forever or only a few miles.

What I want isn't important
it's His will that must abide,
For it is full of all the wisdom
and pure innocent love that won't hide.

But while we share our times
I'll treasure each twinkle in your eye,
Each moment you're willing to share
each beat of heart that matches mine.

And if, when my years have grown long
we've uncrossed these paths along the way,
I'll smile with all the happiness
remembering the joy you brought my days.

All writings on this page © 1999 by Alaskan Angels and Roberta Wallace. Any reproduction or copying without written permission is strictly forbidden.

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SILVERHAWK CREATIONS.
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