Did he do this to you????
My God...why do you stay with
him???
Why does she stay???
What is wrong with her?
Is it me?? or are we asking the wrong questions
here?
Welcome to Domestic Violence in the United States.
Here are the cold hard facts.
FACT: Between two and four million women
per year are victims of Domestic Violence
in the United States.
FACT: 16% of pregnant women are currently
battered.
FACT: 35% of women being treated in
Emergency Rooms are victims of Domestic
Violence.
FACT: 58% of women over 30 years of
age who had been raped had been raped in the
context of an abusive relationship.
FACT: Among battered women who are first
identified as such in a medical setting,
75% will got on to suffer repeated abuse.
In the state of Florida alone 119,930 incidents
of domestic violence were reported. The following is a breakdown
of the reported cases and the crimes with which the abuser was then charged
with:
| Simple Assault | 89,583 |
| Aggravated Assault | 23,765 |
| Threat/Intimidation | 2,808 |
| Forcible Sexual Offenses | 2,245 |
| Murder | 230 |
| Arson | 99 |
| Manslaughter | 10 |
It is important to remember that these number represent the number of reported incidents of Domestic Violence. It is difficult to estimate the number of incidents that go unreported.
In this page we shall explore the following:
What is Domestic Violence?
What are the dynamics in battering relationships?
What are the Criteria for Identifying a Victim
of Domestic Violence?
What do I ask if I suspect Domestic Violence?
What are the general strategies for treatment
or intervention?
What Should I and Can I Do to Help??
Important Points to Remember
Legal Options for Survivors of Domestic Violence
Commonly Asked Questions about Domestic
Violence - and Answers
Relative Links
Domestic violence (often referred to as spousal/partner abuse or battering syndrome) can be defined as intentional violent or controlling behavior by a person who is or has been intimate with the victim(s) and may or may not reside in the same household. Domestic violence encompasses a syndrome of coercive behaviors that may include, but are not limited to, the following:
One of the most difficult dynamics of partner abuse for health care
providers and the general public to understand is why a battered wife or
partner would stay, somethimes for many years. Gelles was one of
the first sociologists to seek an answer to the question "why would a woman
who has been physically abused by a man remain with him?" Gelles
hypothesized that a woman with few resources consequently has fewer alternatives
to an abusive marriage, thus she is "trapped" in the marriage and reluctant
to seek outside intervention. Out of the 136 formerly battered women in
Bowker's (1983) research on the help-seeking strategies of battered women,
women rated the police the LEAST helpful of the formal sources of help
they sought. Police arrested the batterer in just 15% of the reported
incidents; Instead, they had the batterer "cool down" and urged reconciliation
of the couple. Advocates for battered women have pointed out that
the question to be answered is not "Why does she stay?" but instead,
"Why do so many men beat their partners?" and "What is preventing
her from leaving?"
Generally there are three specific models which have been accepted by
lay and professional helpers/advocates of domestic violence.
In 1984, Walker analyzed the psychological and behavioral repsonses of battered women in terms of Seligman's theory of "learned helplessness". She also identified a "cycle theory of violence" form her extensive interviews with battered women. Three phases were identified. The first phase, the "tension building phase", is charecterized by an escalation of tension with verbal abuse and minor battering incidents. The woman engages in placating behavior, trying desperately to avoid serious incidents. Her feelings of helplessness and fear escalate as the incidents worsen over time. This phase may last for weeks or even years, unitl the tension has mounted to the breaking point. Phase two, "the acute battering incident", is the outbreak of serious violence that may last from minutes to hours. The woman is powerless to affect the outcome of the second phase and can only try to protect herself and her children. In the third phase, "the aftermath", the man may be contrite and loving and promise to reform. This phase reinforces the woman's hope that the beatings will end. Unfortunately, the cycle almost always tends to repeat itself. Over time, the third phase occurs less often, leaving the woman trapped between the pre-outburst tension and the battering episodes.
2. Process of Abuse
In 1989, Landenburger explored the personal meaning of abusive experiences,
the process of self-evaluation of the abusive relationship, and the influence
of personal meaning on the choices made by women in these relationships.
Women described four phases of binding, enduring, disengaging and recovering
through which they progressively pass as changes occur in the meaning ascribed
to the abuse, to interactions with her abusive partner, and to herself.
During the binding phase, when the relationship is new and loviing,
women respond to abuse with redoubled efforts to make the relationship
work and to prevent future abuse. Logical, creative stratgegies are
used to appease the abusive partner. Over time, the futility of her
problem-solving efforts becomes apparent and the woman begins to question
the durability of the relationship. In the second phase, or time
of enduring, a woman tolerates the abuse because of the positive aspects
of the relationship and because she feels at least partially responsible
for the abuse. Although a woman may tentatively seek outside help
at this time, she does not openly disclose her circumstances to others
for fear of the consequences to her safety and to her partner's social
status. The phase of disengaging involves the woman labeling her
situation as being abusive and herself undeserving of the abusive treatment.
A breaking point may be reached when women realize their danger, as well
as the knowledge that they might attempt to kill their abuser. As
women struggle with independent living and safety concerns, they may leave
and return to the abusive relationship several times. After a time
of readjustment, and successfully overcoming the many barriers that could
trap her in the abusive relationship, the woman may enter a phase of
recovery in which she remains separated from the abuser. An important
point to remember is that, from the woman's perspective, the abuse was
just one aspect of a whole relationship that may still have some positive
elements in it - the woman wants to end the abuse, but wants to maintain
the good aspects of the relationship. These two goals may be incompatible
but it will take time before that is clear.
3. Power and Control Wheel
In 1984, the Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project began developing a framework for describing the behavior of men who physically and emotionally abuse their partners based on group interviews with women attending educational classes. Many of the women criticized theories that described battery as cyclical rather than a consttant force in their relationship. Further, these women criticized theories that attributed the violence to men's inability to cope with stress. Form the experiences of women living with men who batter, the Power and Control Wheel was designed. This depiction of primary abusive behaviors experienced by women who live with men who batter. It illustrates that violence is a part of a pattern of behavior rather than isolated incidents of abuse or cyclical explorations of pent-ip anger, frustration, or painful feelings.
Not all batterers fit into these categories. Some are mentally ill and have no remorse for their actions while others are truly appalled by their behavior. These individuals tend to rationalize their actions, like others who dominate through force, by portraying or even believing themselves to be the victims of those that they abuse. Unfortunately this belief is often reinforced by many societal institutions such as police, judges, clergy, social workers, medical professionals, etc.
1. Clinical Clues
Many practitioners have noted that chronic illnesses such as asthma,
seizure disorders, diabetes, arthritis, hypertension and heart disease
may be exacerbated by the stress of abuse or poorly controlled in women
who are being abused. Poor compliance may also be due to the fact
that the batterer controls the victim's needs and may not let her keep
her appointments. Specific clues may include:
a. Chronic pain, psychogenic pain,
or pain due to diffuse trauma without visible evidence.
b. Physical symptoms related to
stress, chronic post traumatic stress disorder, other anxiety
disorders
or depression.
2. Physical Injuries
Episodes of physical assualt in abusive relationships lead to physical injuries. When the woman's explanation of how an injury occurred does not seem plausible, when there has been a delay in seeking medical care or when a woman has vague complaints we should consider the possibility of domestic violence. Common types of injuries include:
According to research, a woman may be at increased risk for violence
when she is pregnant. Because of the risk to the mother and fetus
presentations to watch for include:
a. Assess for domestic violence
and a history of child abuse, especially child sexual abuse.
Psychiatric
symptoms of abuse include the following:
5. Behavioral Signs
a. Battered women exhibit
a variety of responses to the stress of the ongoing abuse; such
women
may appear frightened, ashamed, evasive or embarrassed. A battered
woman may
believe
she deserves the abuse because the abuser tells her so, and she may take
responsibility
for his violence to maintain some sense of control over her situation.
Other
clues
may include the following:
If you suspect violence because of a response to a question, or any
other reason, try asking one of the following questions to open the door
for discussion:
If a victim of domestic violence has answered "yes" to any of the questions in the above section, we should then assess the danger to the victim by asking the following questions:
It is essential that people understand this process, respect the integrity of the victim, and support her efforts to make her own decision about what to do. It is also important to understand that giving information about domestic violence to victims is, in fact, a therapeutic intervention.
It is important to be very careful not to convey to the victim that she has failed you or disappointed you if she chooses not to leave the relationship at this time. Safety assessment is the key. Salber and Taliaferro, noted researchers in this field have suggested eight specifics to consider during a safety assessment.
1. Helping her to develop a safety plan.
It is vital to
assess the woman's safety and help her develop a plan. If your time
is
limited, refer
her to another individual knowledgeable about domestic violence, such as
a domestic violence
advocate, social worker, or a psychologist to develop the safety
plan. (Do not assume
that all social workers or psychologists are trained in working
with victims of
domestic violence. It is essential you know the capabilities of your
referral resources.)
2. Questions to help assess and plan
for safety.
3. Does she have friends or family with whom
she can stay?
4. Where are her children or other dependents?
Does she think they are safe? Is she afraid
they would be harmed
if she didn't go home?
5. Does she want immediate access to a shelter
or other temporary living situation?
6. Does she need immediate medical or psychiatric
intervention?
7. If she wants to go home, be sure to definately
follow up and that she has information about
community referrals.
8. She should also be advised to have a safety
plan in case she needs to leave home quickly.
The process of making a safety plan is therapeutic because it helps women face the reality of danger, make concrete plans and think about potential support systems.
A. Criminal Justice Relief
Most victims of domestic violence are victims of crimes as well.
Such crimes may include assault, battery, rape, stalking, threats, false
imprisonment, destruction of property, weapon crimes and specific "domestic
violence" crimes. These women should be informed that what occurred
may be a crime and that they may consider calling the police. Whether
calling the police will result in arrest, prosecution and/or jail time
will depend on state and county laws and policies, as well as attitudes
of the individuals handling the case. The more informed the survivor
is of her rights when navigating the criminal justice system, the better
off she will be. Her rights mya include demanding a private person's
arrest if the police do not arrest the batterer, receiving a police report,
demanding that the officer remain at the scene until she secures her safety
and receiving assistance in the accessing of a shelter or medical aid.
She may be able to request that the criminal court issue a stay-away order
or that she be notified upon the batterer's release from jail.
B. Civil Protection Orders
The types of protection orders that are available to survivors vary
from state to state and may include: restraining the batterer from
further violence, excluding him from the household, ordering him to not
contact the victim, prohibiting him from possessing weapons, ordering him
to attend batterer's counseling and awarding the survivor comepensation
for medical bills aand other expenses incurred as a result of the violence.
Violation of a protection order is a misdemeanor in most states and my
subject a perpetrator to contempt of court. Though police, prosecutors
and judges may not always respond adequately to protection order violations,
studies show that such orders are often effective in reducing the violence.
Victims should be informed of the option and process of obtaining a protection
order, but respect the victims judgments regarding whether or not such
orders will enhance their safety.
C. Child Custody and Visitation Orders
As batterers often use the children as a means of accessing and controlling
their partners, court orders clearly specifying custody and visitation
arrangements can significantly enhance the safety of the survivor and her
children. An order granting sole custody to a battered woman can
help her in obtaining police assistance if the batterer tries to take the
child from her. Orders may provide for no visitation, supervised
visitation, visitation conditioned on attendance in batterer's counseling
or for transfer of the child through a third party so that the batterer
has no contact with the victim. Victims who have children should
be advised to seek legal counsel regarding the appropriateness of custody
or visitation orders
D. Other Legal Options
Other options for battered women include divorce, legal separation,
annulment and child/spousal support. Orders dividing marital property
or awarding financial support can be critical to enabling the battered
woman and her children to live independantly from the batterer.
Battered immigrant women often face particular obstacles, as they may be relyiing on coercive partners to assist them in obtaining legal status. Recently relief has been expanded that allows battered immigrant women to apply for their permanent status independantly of an abusive husband. These victims should be referred to a domestic violence or immigration advocacy program for assistance with such recourses.
What about men who are assaulted by women?
The National Institute of Justice reported that 95% of the reported
assaults involved a male as an assailant and a female as a victim. National
Crime Survey reports that of all spousal assault incidents, 91% were victimizations
of women committed by husbands or ex-hubands. The Bureau of Justice
Statistics reports that women are 10 times more likely than men to be victims
in cases of domestic violence. One study by Straus and Steinmetz
found that when surveyed, men amd women reported equal levels of assaultive
behavior, however, it is important to understand the context of this study.
This survey involved a telephone assessment with men and women and it did
not look at independent verifications such as court records. Other
research has shown that abusive men tend to minimize the extent of their
violence, while women are usually painfully honest about the assaultive
acts they commit, perhaps because violence is less within their narrative
roles. It also did not analyze either the intent or the effects of
assaultive behavior - very important component issues. Certainly
there are cases of females who are physically assaultive towards their
male partners. However the vast majority of these cases involve a
woman who has been victimized by this partner over a number of years and
my now be responding with violence as either retaliation or as self defense.
There are three main intentions to violence. One is to dominate,
control and intimidate another person. The second is to defend yourself
and the third is retaliation when there's been a prior history of victimization.
The law allows people to defend their lives and therefore, violence or
assaultive behavior in the interest of self defense cannot be classified
in the same way as violence that is intended to intimidate. We also
know that most men are physically much larger and stronger than women and
therefore when they are assaultive, they cause more serious injuries so
we need to look at the effect of the violence as well as the intent.
Women are much less likely to use violence in any attempt to control but
rather to use it as either self defense of retaliation, and the effects
tend to be less severe than the effects of violence against her.
What is the recommended treatment for batterers and how successful
are they?
Specialized batterers' treatment programs are less than 20 years old.
Twenty years agol there were no dedicated programs for this population.
Currently there are 200 programs in the United States which provide specialized
treatment to men who are assaultive in intimate relationships and to date,
there are approximately 20 studies which have evaluated their effectiveness.
Each of these studies have employed different methodologies. Jeffrey
Edleson and Richard Toman summarize the key findings of these studies in
their chapter on group interventions for men who batter published in Intervention
for Men Who Batter: An Ecological Approach. The chapter on group
interventions for men who batter includes a summary of the key findings
of the 20 different studies. Mostly what we know is that the vast
majority of offenders will not seek help voluntarily. It is only
with a court order that many of these men come into treatment programs.
It's also important to realize that even once they are ordered, many offenders
chose not to participate and therefore it is important that treatment be
seen not as some sort of magic answer but as one part of a coordinated
community response to domestic violence. It is frequently most helpful
to have treatment be backed by a court order and monitored by a probation
office/agent or someone within the court to insure that if the offender
does not complete treatment, there is some additional legal sanction.
The studies have shown that among men who complete treatment, a significant
percent are nonviolent during the following year. The percentage
remaining nonviolent varies from 53 to 85% with lower rates reported by
studies based on victim reports of violence. Men who drop out of
treament are significantly more likely to continue their violence than
men who complete the treatment. In one study, 68% of the domestic
violence victims indicated no revictimization within six months of court
intervention. It's also important to realize that the research supports
that simply going to court may account for a significant amount of the
deterrent effect. It is important that treatment be offered in a
community based setting backed by the courts and that it be long enough
for the offender to really go through the change process. Many court
programs have mandatory treatment lasting 26 to 32 weeks.
It is also important to minimize the delay between the offense and the start of treatment and to make sure that there are sanctions for noncompliance. If the offender knows that he will either go to jail or go back to court and suffer a stiffer penalty, it can sometimes be an important motivator for change.
Couple counseling however, is not generally advised. The focus must bbe on ending the violence with no couple work until the victim is no longer afraid of being attacked if she speaks candidly about issues within the relationship. At each point it is crucial that the offender and the victim be assessed separately and treated separately and that no couple counseling occur until the victim requests it and there is no longer a danger of violence.
We need to provide for the victim's safety while the offender is going through court ordered treatment, since this can be a time when he becomes increasingly agitated. It is vital that the victim not have false hope. She also need to have a protection plan in place while the offender is going through treatment. Batterer treatment offer offenders a chance at rehabilitation, but it cannot work with those who do not attend or complete the program. The community needs to recognize that this type of treatment is only one of an array of options that need to be in place.
Twenty years ago there were no domestic violence programs in America.
Today there are over 1500 domestic violence programs. Most, if not
all, include a shelter program where women and children can come to 24
hours a day. The shelter offers a safe haven from the violence and
can
also provide the woman with information about her rights and options.
In many programs, there are specialized services available for the children
who have been traumatized by witnessing the abuse. Women have a chance
to meet other battered women and this helps them to overcome the feelings
of isolation and self blame. Most programs employ an empowerment
model where women are viewed not as sick andd crazy because they have been
battered, but as people who have been traumatized and need support in recovering
their self esteem and beginning to make choices on how best to protect
themselves and their children. In addition, many programs offer a
counseling program for those victims in the community who may not need
emergency shelter but nevertheless want to deal with the trauma of being
abused in the past, being currently abused or having escaped from violent
relationships and needing a chance to deal with the trauma and move forward
with their lives.
Many of these programs offer structured groups that deal with issues such as understanding the dynamics of violence, dealing with anger, understanding of your legal rights, understanding the effects of domestic violence on your children, making and maintaining safety plans and offering one another emotional support during important life decisions.
In addition, a growing number of programs in America offer batterers treatment as part of an array of services. In general, these range from 12 weeks to six months although there are some programs that extend for a number of years. In order to be eligible for these programs, men must take some responsibility for their violence and be willing to participate in a lethality assessment, have their partner be contacted in order to obtain an independent assessment of their violence and to focus on changing violent coercive behaviors. Frequently, these programs have strong linkages with the court.
Virtually all programs now include 24 hour hotlines. It is not unusual for many victims in the ccommunity to use the service anonymously and also to call multiple times before actually coming to an agency for help. These hotlines are available not only to victims of domestic violence but concerned friends, family and professionals who are seeking more accurate information about community based services. Another component in some domestic violence programs is legal advocacy and in some cases, legal representation. Legal advocates can educate victims about their legal rights and options. This can include helping victims apply for a protection order from domestic violence or representation in divorce and custody hearings.
The children's program focuses on providing children with a safe place, helpiing them to adjust to life in a shelter, dealing with various emotions about their father and their mother, helping to place them in a school during their term in shelter, learn about personal safety planning, how to protect themselves and beginning to recover from the trauma of witnessing the abuse of their caretaker, loved one or mother.
What happens when a family wants to come into a shelter but there
is no room?
Each program has a different policy regarding this situation.
In many cases, the hotline counselor works with the woman to identity some
other place that she can go on an emergency basis until there is room.
For some women, this may involve a referral to a homeless shelter.
For other women, the counselor will work with them to identify a friend
or relative with whom they can stay on a short term basis. A third
option is to educate the caller about the availability of the order for
protection from domestic violence. This is a civil remedy and a victim
can go to the court in their area and ask to fill out a form and to see
a judge. They can do this pro se, meaning that they do not need to
have a lawyer. They simply fill out a form where they describe the
incident that put them in eminent fear or involved them in assault and
battery, they then go before a judge to tell their story and the judge
can grant emergency relief. The judge can order that the abuser immediately
vacate from the home upon service by a police officer. Later both
parties are summoned back to court and the judge can extend the vacte order
for an additional period of time and provide other relief as well.
The important point is that it may be possible for that victim and her
children to stay in the family home and the perpetrator of the violence
will be the one that has to find alternative housing. This is something
that the counselor explores with the caller to find out what will be the
best and safest remedy. There is a desperate need for addtional shelter
services throughtout the country. While there are 1500 shelter programs
for battered women in America, there are more than TWICE that number (3800+)
shelters for abused and homeless animals.
