Click on Mr. Smiley Face to return to MR J's Main PageQ: What's gray on the inside and pink and white on the outside?
A: An inside out elephant.
Q: What is gray and not there?
A: No elephants.
Q: Why are elephants large, gray, and wrinkled?
A: Because if they were small, white, and smooth they'd be aspirins.
Q: Why are elephants wrinkled?
A: Have you ever tried to iron one?
Q: How does an elephant get down from a tree?
A: It doesn't, you get down from a duck.
Q: How do you get an elephant out of a tree?
A: Stand it on a leaf and wait until autumn.
Q: How do you know if an elephant is under your bed?
A: Your nose is touching the ceiling.
Q: Why do elephants wear sandals?
A: So that they don't sink in the sand.
Q: Why do ostriches stick their head in the ground?
A: To look for the elephants who forgot to wear their sandals.
Q: What did Hannibal say when he saw 1000 elephants coming over the hill?
A: "Look, there's 1000 elephants coming over the hill."
Q: What did he say when he saw 1000 elephants with sunglasses on coming over the hill?
A: Nothing, he didn't recognize them.
Q: Why do elephants paint the soles of their feet yellow?
A: So that they can hide upside-down in bowls of custard.
Q: Did you ever find an elephant in your custard?
A: No? Well, it must work then.
Q: What's gray, fifteen feet long, and goes a hundred miles an hour?
A: An elephant dildo.
Q: What's the most important thing to remember when having sex with an elephant?
A: Never let it get on top.
Q: What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant in a Volkswagon?
A: Getting an elephant pregnant in a Volkswagon.
Q: Why are an elephant's toes yellow?
A: He's too big to raise is leg to pee.
Q: Why do elephants throw up after every shit?
A: You'd throw up too if you had to wipe your ass with your nose.
Q: What's the black stuff between an elephant's toes?
A: Slow natives.
Q: How can you tell if two elephants have been screwing around in your backyard?
A: All the trash liners are gone.
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