Everything you never wanted to know...
about ME!
.
Words that have been used to describe me:
Spunky
Feisty
Brat
Hyper
Smartass
Sarcastic
Incorrigible
Intimidating
Bitch *giggle*
Hair color:
Blonde... (no comments from the peanut
gallery)
Eye color:
Blue..
Tattoos or body piercings:
Ummm....ask me.. :P
Height:
5'2"...I'm a runt :P
What's my sign?
Gemini...could explain the multiple personality disorder *grin*
Favorite Color:
Red.... red lipstick is a *must*
Favorite Bands:
Too many...see the Music Links page... :)
Favorite Movie:
When Harry met Sally.. :)
ANYTHING with Ben Affleck in it!
Things that confuse the hell outta me:
People wearing toupees
The color white
Words with too many syllables
Installing screen savers
Topless bars
Skydiving
The U.S. Postal Service
Cappuccino machines
Who's Waldo and why do I care where he is?
Favorite lil sayings:
I'm a mall whore! I can suck the numbers right off of your credit card!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Procrastination is like masturbation. You're only fucking yourself.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."
I'm Glad I'm A Woman
I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!
I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!
I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!
I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band
or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!
Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
you can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my ... genetalia
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!

Okay..didn't wanna know this..and don't care that I do...
take me Back!!!
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