Everything you never wanted to know...


about ME!


.



Words that have been used to describe me:

Spunky
Feisty
Brat
Hyper
Smartass
Sarcastic
Incorrigible
Intimidating
Bitch *giggle*

Hair color:

Blonde... (no comments from the peanut gallery)


Eye color:

Blue..
Tattoos or body piercings:

Ummm....ask me.. :P


Height:

5'2"...I'm a runt :P


What's my sign?

Gemini...could explain the multiple personality disorder *grin*


Favorite Color:

Red.... red lipstick is a *must*


Favorite Bands:

Too many...see the Music Links page... :)


Favorite Movie:

When Harry met Sally.. :)
ANYTHING with Ben Affleck in it!


Things that confuse the hell outta me:

People wearing toupees
The color white
Words with too many syllables
Installing screen savers
Topless bars
Skydiving
The U.S. Postal Service
Cappuccino machines
Who's Waldo and why do I care where he is?


Favorite lil sayings:

I'm a mall whore! I can suck the numbers right off of your credit card!
Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?
Procrastination is like masturbation. You're only fucking yourself.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Whisper my favorite words: "I'll buy it for you."



I'm Glad I'm A Woman

I'm glad I'm a woman, yes I am, yes I am
I don't live off of Budweiser, beer nuts and Spam
I don't brag to my buddies about my erections
I won't drive to Hell before I ask for directions
I don't get wasted at parties and act like a clown
and I know how to put the damned toilet seat down!

I won't grab your hooters, I won't pinch your butt
my belt buckle's not hidden beneath my beer gut
and I don't go around "readjusting" my crotch
or yell like Tarzan when my head-board gets a notch
I don't belch in public, I don't scratch my behind
I'm a woman you see -- I'm just not that kind!

I'm glad I'm a woman, I'm so glad I could sing
I don't have body hair like shag carpeting
It doesn't grow from my ears or cover my back
When I lean over you can't see 3 inches of crack
And what's on my head doesn't leave with my comb
I'll never buy a toupee to cover my dome
Or have a few hairs pulled from over the side
I'm a woman, you know -- I've got far too much pride!

I don't live to play golf and shoot basketball
I don't swagger and spit like a Neanderthal
I won't tell you my wife just does not understand
stick my hand in my pocket to hide that gold band
or tell you a story to make you sigh and weep
then screw you, roll over and fall sound asleep!

Yes, I'm glad I'm a woman, a woman you see
you can forget all about that old penis envy
I don't long for male bonding, I don't cruise for chicks
join the Hair Club For Men, or think with my ... genetalia
I'm a woman by chance and I'm thankful it's true
I'm so glad I'm a woman and not a man like you!






Okay..didn't wanna know this..and don't care that I do... take me Back!!!


This page hosted by GeoCities Get your own Free Home Page