Jimmy James Quotes!!!

Jimmy: "Now get back to work, you naughty little monkeys, you!"

Jimmy: "Aaah, breakroom with a big 10-4! Good buddy!"

Jimmy: "You poor, misguided, Canadian bastard."

Matthew: "(enounciating) Buttafuoco."
Jimmy: "Well, Buttafuoco to you too, Matthew! If you'd said it that way on the air, we probably wouldn't have lost two sponsers this morning."

Jimmy: "What..uh..what is it?"
Joe: "Uh, it's a formal complaint box."
Jimmy: "Ahh, what does it look like?"
Joe: "Sorta like a box."
Jimmy: "I like it."

Jimmy: "What can I say? I thought it would work."
Dave: "Well, it's been three weeks and it hasn't come close to working."
Jimmy: "Yeah, well. How are the numbers?"
Dave: "According to these figures it seems that when Bill's show comes on, people turn off their car radios, pull over to the side of the road, abandon their vehicules, and walk home rather than risk hearing another second."
Jimmy: "Alright, let's cancel it."
Dave: "Great, I'll take care of it."
Jimmy: "No no no no, I'm the one that approved it, I'll handle the cancellation."
Dave: "Are you sure you don't want me to handle this? Because, you know, when Bill and Lisa combine their energies, their powers of persuasion go up fivefold."
Jimmy: "You know, Dave, really I appreciate your Dungeons and Dragons approach to office management, but I left my twelve sided dice at home so, uh, I'll just tell 'em, alright?"
Dave: "Alright. God speed, fair wizard."

Jimmy: "Hey, Spaz!"

Jimmy (reading): "I had a small house of brokerage on Wall Street. Many days no business comes to my hut...my hut...but Jimmy has fear? A thousand times no! I never doubted myself for a minute for I knew that my...monkey-strong bowels were guarded with strength like the loins of a dragon ribboned with fat in the opulance of buffallo...dung." "Glorious sunset of my heart was fading. Soon the...super karate monkey death car...would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans! And pants to match. The monkey, clown, horrible, karate, round and yummy, like a cute small baby chick, would...beat the donkey."

Jimmy: "Where's the food?"
Dave: "Uh, let's just pretend there's food."
Jimmy: "It's make-believe?"
Dave: "Yeah."
Jimmy: "Dave, make-believe is for little girls and mental patients."

Joe: "How about: Jimmy James: No more lies..."
Jimmy: "I like it!"
Joe: "...about the government coverup of alien bodies at area 52!"

Dave: "Mr. James, I didn't see you come in."
Jimmy: "Yeah, well, that's the way I like it. I'm like..uh...that magician guy. What's his name?"
Dave: "Uh...David Copperfield?"
Jimmy: "Nope."
Dave: "Sigfried?"
Jimmy: "Uh uh."
Dave: "Roy?"
Jimmy: "That's the one!"

Jimmy: "I got so many lawyers standing in line to see me now you'd think I had tobacco leaking out of my breast implants."

Jimmy: "Jimmy don't do dat."

Jimmy: "I am a cipher, a cipher wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce."

Jimmy: "By the way, how's that illegal cable box working out for ya?"

Jimmy: "Now get back to work, you naughty little monkeys, you."

Jimmy: "Screw the small judo man!"

Jimmy: "They've done documentaries about all the heavy hitters... I'm talkin' about Ted Turner, Bill Gates, Rupert Murdoch, Bruce Wayne..."
Dave: "Sir, Bruce Wayne is Batman..."
Jimmy: "Shh, Shhhh..."

Jimmy: "You go girl!"

JIMMY (referring to Lisa): "You got a thing for her?"
DAVE: "Uhh, Of course not!"
JIMMY: "Good. Don't dip you're pen in the company ink, that's what I say. Don't punch a clock with a time card in your pants."

JIMMY: "To hell with that... I think we should just die with our boot on."
DAVE: "Sir, what are you talking about?"
JIMMY: "Aww nothing, I just wanted you guys to notice my new boots."

JIMMY: "MATTHEW!! I'm trying to work something out here... I don't need you bouncing around like some kind of freakin' lab monkey!!!"

JIMMY: "Matthew... do I look like a man who would enjoy a game of Goofy-Ball?"

Jimmy: "Don't you know the benefits of getting along with a mob?"
Dave: "No...."
Jimmy: "Take that mob of villagers that chased Frankenstein through the streets. Now, wouldn't it have been smarter for Frankenstein to pick up the torch and help the villagers hunt down some other freak?"
Dave: "That's a very good point, sir."

JIMMY: "I haven`t read the comics since I realized Beetle Bailey was never actually gonna shoot somebody"

JIMMY: "You got more paranoid fantasies than Stephen King on crack"

JIMMY: "D'I say sit on my bed, BITCH?!!"

Beth: "Dosen't he wonder how the candy got there?"
Jimmy: "No, I think in Matthew's world candy elves are a common occurance."

JIMMY: "Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave... there is a saying, I cried... because I had no desk until I met a man who had no feet... and the no feet guy explained that there was such a thing as a budget... and WNYX was way way over it. The End".

Jimmy: "Dave, whenever I have a bee in my bonnet... I find it helps to take my hat off."
Dave: "Meaning...?"
Jimmy: "Meaning I take my hat off, the bee flies out... do I need to draw you a picture?"

Jimmy: "Dave, if medicine tasted good, I'd be pouring cough syrup on my pancakes."