Y2K is on its way....r u ready?
by AskAsh - the bear that cares
I have taken a sabbatical from my regular duties so that I can fully prepare for the end of life as we know it.
As all are aware, the end of time is near. I don't mean to alarm my readers, but I do hope that everyone is prepared. The news media, government, and the powers that be have mounted a rigorous campaign to lull us all into a false sense of security. Do not be taken in! There is much to lose if you don't act now.
Rumours of major mechanical misfunction are NOT rumours and must be believed! Yes, it is true, the following are just a few examples of what can be expected once the clock strikes twelve on December 31st, 1999
elevators will freeze on the second floor (even if it is a one story building)
coffee machines will perk spontaneously (and only produce frothy vanilla lattes)
cars will drive themselves (but only in reverse)
housepets will miraculously develop the ability to speak (and finally have their say)
all refrigerated foods will turn purple and have the flavour of peanuts
this is just the tip of the iceberg (speaking of which, they too will come to life and rampage mercilessly).
In order to protect yourself and the ones you love, it is imperative that you act now and ready your surroundings.
For a nominal fee I, personally, will come to your place of dwelling and counsel you on how to best prepare for the inevitable.
If you don't like peanuts and worry about how you've treated your dog, don't hesitate to book now at: catfacecreations@hotmail.com
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