Ask Ash

Dear Ash: My girlfriend keeps insisting that I buy her a ring as a symbol of my undying affection, what should I do? - No Ring Buyer Am I, Port Coquitlam BC

Dear NRBAI,

I hear ya loud and clear buddy. I suggest you stick with the 'no ring buying' plan and I offer this whimsical solution to your problem. Buy her some thimbles, she will ask, "why thimbles"...you will say, "You said that you wanted a thimble, so I have bought you these to remind you that I, like a thimble, I will protect you from harm and last forever". She'll think its cute and you'll be off the hook.

Dear Ash, My boyfriend is a cheapskate. He tells me that he adores me, will protect and care for me, and love me forever. The problem is, I want some sort of symbol that I can have to be reminded of his feelings when we are apart. How do I get him to unlock the vault and and get me my symbol? - Signed, no bimbo, just wants a symbol

Dear NBJWAS,

Tell that louse of a guy to get off his ass and get you a symbol.