Strangers In The Dark   I reach out, trying to find you, trying to find anything that has to do with you. But I find nothing -My search is in vain. Despite all my efforts to hold onto you, or at least, hold on to what I have left of you, I can't. Somehow, it all slips away, while all I can do is sit and watch. Was it me, who let it all go? Let it seep through my fingers so easily? Or did it just go... fade away, gradually... And what was I doing while this happened... while you just kept going further away from me? What was I thinking all this time, when the life that I knew just disappeared... All that I was familiar with just vanished. What was I doing all this time? Did I not know that all I really wanted was you, all that really meant anything to me was your love. Was I so blinded by my folly -one that came from the excitement of change. Didn't I ever realize that sometimes all you've ever wanted is what you've had all along. Was I so preoccupied that I never paid attention, never really listened to what I needed. And now, you're too far away. So far, that I can't even wake up every morning and feel happy to know that you're thinking of me too. Or did I lose you with that a long time ago? I look at what was all too familiar once, with a strange sense of bewilderment, feeling odd, uncomfortable and confused. And then it hits me- like a sharp, stinging gush of cold wind. We're not just estranged any longer, we're strangers... ...absolute strangers...

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I had someone I loved, and then I lost him, just because I didn't know any better.  I miss him, and think about what could've been. But he's gone now...and won't come back. Brian, I wish I could have proved to you that I love you...

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