Once upon a time, there was this priest, a rabbi, and a minister walking along a path. The priest turns and says... "Is this a joke or a story?" The minister was about to reply, but was stopped by a meteor that landed on his head. The priest and the rabbi were quite taken aback and a bit singed. They decided to... have a toga party to celebrate the life of their newly deceased friend. Unfortunately this quite difficult as the priest was illiterate, and the rabbi was blind. But upon the scene to help them came... George W. Bush. Now HE knows how to throw a party. Everything was going along fine, and G.W. was wearing the lampshade and holding two pints of Guinness, when a reporter busted in and saw a presidential candidate partying with religous leaders and singing along with YMCA, and decided to... call in the Dust Buster. The Dust Buster was known for her ability to clean up sticky situations involving politicians. She also had quite a penchant for violence. George W. was scared of her. So when she arrived on the scene in her VW Microbus, he stood quaking in his sandals. The Dust Buster strode up to George W. and said... "Georgie Porgie pudding pie. Kissed the girls and made them cry," but George left the room, saying something about looking for snow. Suddenly the blind priest hit the Dust Buster from behind with a Steel Chair. Immediately the Dust Buster tagged the Reporter, and the two tag teams: reporter and DB, and the priest and rabbi attracted quite a crowd... who kept screaming out, "Crucify! Crucify! " but Pilate the referee washed his hands of the whole deal and went off to drink a glass of water after that number. Seeing his chance, G.W., now clad in sparkles and calling himself the Snowman, busted in and... screamed, "What was the point of this fight, anyway? I want my Daddy!!" The Dust Buster burst out laughing and the Reporter took notes on everything. The party was kind of dead after that. The next morning, the headline in the Bumblyburg Herald read... "Michael Douglas to wed the Pepsi Girl" but no news about the fight. It was a Republican paper. George W. Bush breathed (very deeply to his bliss) a sigh of relief. The reporter was furious. The priest and the rabbi... threw a fit of fury throwing bibles around and belting out chorus' to Cats! they looked at each other and embarced in a truly emotional moment of religiousness! After all they had secretly been in broadway plays together for 50-odd years... but then the reporter snapped a picture of the two, and the next day the headlines read, "Has Religon Finally Accepted Homosexuality?" and for which the priest and the rabbi were thrown out of their respective religious organization coincil thingies, and were forced to start a street band on the corner, where they played... Ricky Martin songs incessantly to punish all those who were intolerant of their life choices. They were wishing the minister hadn't been killed by the meteor because he was an Episcopalian and accepted them for who they were. They were pondering life, the universe, and the non-existent plot-line of this story, when... a vision came to them all simultaneously. God showed up. They all gasped and caught their breath and bowed down before Him, and with the obligatory Stairway to Heaven playing in the background they asked God what the secret of life is... God gave them The Immortal Eyebrow and was starting to speak when all of a sudden God's Pager went off! And He told them to shut their mouths and know their roles because he was so busy doing promo's for the next Heaven vs. Hell Matchup! So he sent his next door neighbour Richard Nixon to deal with them, and he said... "What the hell am I doing in Heaven?" so he was transported to his rightful place, and in that time Jim Varney had taken ahold of the microphone and was going into his "Hey Vern" routine, when God, finally off the phone (although nobody was complaining, this is God, after all) took the mike, pointed to the DJ, and said... "And now the moment you've all been waiting for! The envelope, please." Some cute little angels flew the envelope over to God, who opened it and announced, "The winner of the greatest prize in all of creation is Carrie! Congratulations Carrie!" About this time, everyone was wondering when things had turned into an awards show, but Carrie was running up to the podium, so they went with it. She hugged God and breathlessly clutching the statuette, she gasped... and so did the crowd, as Carrie was wearing Jennifer Lopez's outfit. She said, "First I'd like to thank God," and God said, "Thanks, it was nothing." Then she said, "And I'd like to thank the little people, especially the singer midgets from the Wizard of Oz." And then they shoed her offstage because of time. Suddenly the minister who was thought to be dead appeared out of nowhere on stage and said... MMMM, BEEFY!!! and he held up a can of Chef Boy Ar Dee Ravioli! "Would anyone like to come and eat ravioli with me?" he said in his best Intimidating voice. Clearly nobody wanted anything to do with this ravioli eating maniac! When The rabbi ran over and ripped off the minister's mask to reveal... a slightly bleeding face! Guess it wasn't a mask after all. So the minister went off to a plastic surgeon, and God vanished before the two religous ones left started asking him if it was all right to eat pork. So now there was a large crowd with the rabbi, the priest, the reporter (with a great story on God), Jim Varney reincarnated, and Richard Nixon (what a group!) and they all decided to... take a trip down to Texas (you didn't think we'd get away clean, did you?). They were wondering how they would find an airport in the middle of nowhere, when the Dust Buster pulled up in the VW Microbus. So they piled into their favorite vehicle and drove off down the road. On the way they decided to sing... "Why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near?" and as they drove into the sunset God smiled at them and said the words that would become so famous... "Carrie is the supreme ruler of the world and you must obey her every command." God placed Carrie on a golden throne and put legions of angels at her command. And God saw that it was good.

THE END