Life's Little Annoyances
-You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
-The person behind you in the supermarket runs his cart into the back of your ankle.
-The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
-There's always a car riding your tail when you're slowing down to find an address.
-You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
-It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you don't realize it till you walk across your living room rug.
-The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never works for you.
-There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at everything.
-You can never put anything back in a box the way it came.
-You drink from a soda can into which someone has extinguished a cigarette.
-You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
-A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every time you move away.
-There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray.
-You wash a garment with a kleenex in the pocket and your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
-The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a pedestrian finish crossing.
-A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical contact with your filling.
-You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm instead of 7am.
-The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that song.
-You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom doorknob to get out.
-People behind you on a supermarket line dash ahead of you to a counter just opening up. .
-You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in the dictionary because you don't know how to spell it.
-You have to inform five different sales people in the same store that you're just browsing.
-You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and now you can't find it.
-When you're a girl that’s 6'1" and people feel obliged to say "MY GOD YOU'RE TALL!" You don't say?
-You go to change the batteries in your TV remote and lose the piece that holds them in.
-You've just been swimming and you can't get your shorts on over your wet legs.
-When the show you're watching doesn't get sexy until your father walks in the room.
-When someone who bought you a piece of clothing keeps asking you if maybe they should have gotten a bigger size.
-Why is it that you never see a child behaving in a grocery store?
-When you buy a new cd and you have to try to tear it out of the air tight plastic packaging!!!
-You're walking on a busy sidewalk and the person directly in front of you stops suddenly.
-The plastic tags that connect shoes so that when you try them on you get to drag another shoe behind you like Quasimoto.
-People who pronounce the word "coupon" as if it were spelled "q-pon".
-When you turn on the knobs in the bathtub and someone forgot to turn off the shower and you get wet!!!
-When your best friend has a song in their head and when they tell you what it is it's automatically stuck in yours also.
-When i'm trying on clothes and the little "barbie" working there says "let me know if you need a bigger size."
-The minute that your arms are full with something else your purse decide to slip off your shoulder.
-When you get an answering machine while ringing from a payphone with your last bit of change.
-You order a burger or other item, pay 30 cents extra for cheese, and the cheese is melted all over the wrapper.
-When you aren't able to open child-proof pill containers.
-When the bottom rips out of the trash bag as you lift it out of the can..
-Two words -- folding maps.
-Those stupid spring-loaded faucets at public restrooms that only let you wash one hand at a time.
-Having to wait in a long line to use the ladies room while the men zip right in and out.
-You wait 20 minutes while downloading and then there's an error.
-When you go to open a door and miss the handle and then walk into the closed door.
-When that great song they never play comes on the radio just as you are pulling in to your destination.
-Every time you paint your nails it never fails you have to go to the bathroom.
When a group of people have to walk as slow as they possibly can in the hallway the one time that you're in a hurry.
-People who, at a red light, seem to wait for their favorite shade of green before going.
-You have to reach up with wet hands to get the paper towels and the water runs up to your armpits.
-When someone, yet again, emails me those stupid dancing hamsters.
-When you're listening to a new cd and the secret song scares the bejeezus out of you
-Sitting down to watch a movie on TV that you have been looking forward to, when a friend calls who really likes to talk.
-People who say like, like, all the time, like.
-YOU ARE WELL INTO The sentence before you realize you have the caps lock on.
-Pull up your pants!! I don't care to see your underwear. What's the deal with that anyway?
-Getting in the grocery store only to realize the shopping list is on the kitchen table.
-You find a really good movie and turn on the tv to realize that you were reading last week's tv guide.
-When you say something embarrassing about someone and they're right in front/behind you!
-People who use "its" and "it's" interchangably!
-When you're singing your favorite song, only to realize you're singing the wrong words.
-Whenever you are washing your car, someone comes up to you and says "You can do mine next, if you like"
-When your printer doesn't work the night before you have a paper due, but is fine the day after.
-When you've finally grown your nails until they're perfectly even and one mysteriously breaks.
-The people in the car next to you actually think you WANT to listen to their radio.
-When the EZ-cheese gets that air pocket and splatters all over the place...everywhere except the cracker.
-You put something in a place where you'll "never forget it," and then you forget where that place was.
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