Bumper ‘Snickers’

~Seen on bumper stickers around America~

Procrastination - I'll deal with it sooner or later.
If woman's place is in the home, why am I always in my car?
If you can read this, you're too close to my car.
Guns don't kill people. I do.
If You Can Read This, I Can Slam On My Brakes And Sue You
Jesus Loves You, The Rest Of Us Think You're An Idiot.
HANG UP AND DRIVE!
Where There's A Will...I Want To Be In It!
I Have The Body Of A God .......... Buddha
Honk If Anything Falls Off
He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost, But Miles From The Next Exit
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Horn broken, watch for finger.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
Jesus loves you... everyone else thinks you're a jerk.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Keep honking, I'm reloading.
Hang up and drive.
Lord save me from your followers.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
Ask me about microwaving cats for fun and profit.
I said no to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen.
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
My kid beat up your Honors Student! Save the planet! (Kill yourself)
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
I love cats...they taste just like chicken
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
Death to all fanatics!
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
Your kid may be an honor student but YOU’RE still an idiot.
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
When there's a will, I want to be in it!
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekasion.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Stop reading this and watch where you're driving.
Hard work has a future. Laziness pays off now.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Madness takes it's toll; please have exact change
I use to have a handle on life; then it broke
Hang up and drive!
Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
If you don't like the way I'm driving, YOU come get these handcuffs off!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
If you are close enough to read this, I am close enough to slam on my brakes and sue you.
Missing dog and wife. Reward for dog.
i souport publik edekasion.
Back Up My Hard Drive? How do I Put It In Reverse?
Pardon my driving. I'm reloading.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
I have an answering machine in my car. It says: I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush, leave work at noon!
They couldn't repair my brakes, so they made my horn louder.
Drive carefully! Remember, it's not only a car that can be recalled by it's maker.
Drive carefully, we need every taxpayer we can get.
Don't fruit me off - I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Honk if you love peace and quiet.
A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
Two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left.
Jesus saves - Gretzky gets the rebound and scores!
I got this motor home for my wife. BEST deal I ever made!
The kids drive me crazy. I drive them everywhere.
Why am I the only person on earth who knows how to drive?
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change ready.
Go on, I'll see you at the next traffic light.
No Radio - Already Stolen.
So many pedestrians, so little time!
Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
Honk if you LOVE Hanson - Then run into a tree.
Even though this is a stupid bumper sticker, you're squinting to read it.
I love animals - especially in a good gravy!
Born free... Taxed to death.
IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
On the back of an old pickup: If this truck was a horse, I'd have to shoot it.
In a few years I'll be tall enough to see over the wheel.
Don't Laugh, your daughter may be in here.
If we weren't meant to eat animals, then why are they made of meat?
I brake for tailgaters. Hard.
I'm not tailgating, I'm drafting!
Woman make great leaders, you're following one.
Pray for whirled peas.
Honk if you love cheeses.
If you can read this, you are in phaser range.
So many cats. So few recipes.
I need patience. NOW!
My other vehicle is a broom stick.
I don't trust President Clinton (or her husband).
If you listen carefully on a quiet night, you can hear the sound of Chevys rusting in the distance.
Red meat isn't bad for you. Fuzzy green meat is.
Help beautify our dumps. Throw away something pretty.
(On the back of a VW Beetle) Don't honk, I'm peddling as fast as I can.
(On a VW being pulled by an RV) Don't honk, I'm pushing as hard as I can.
My kid was Prisoner of the Month at Orange County Jail.
Life's A Witch And Then You Fly.
I wonder if you'd drive any better with that car phone up your butt?
Missing your cat? Try looking under my tires.
I think therefore I'm dangerous.
Get in - buckle up - shut up - and hold on!
Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly
Support your State Troopers - Drive really fast.
You're not a hemoroid, get off my bum!
'YES this is my truck. NO I wont help you move.'
My Governor can beat up your Governor. (Minnesota bumper sticker)
The closer you get the slower I go.
Wanted: Overnight Meaningful Relationship
I tried to contain myself, but I escaped
Honk if you're a goose.
Work harder: Millions on welfare depend on you.
Do not wash this car. It is undergoing a scientific dirt experiment.
I don't drive fast, I fly low.
Nice front bumper you have there. Shame if something happened to it.
Sign seen on a Fertilizer Truck: We're #1 in the #2 Business!
Ray Guns don't kill Zeeges, Zeeges kill Zeeges - Alien Bumper sticker
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
Dear Lord, please save me from your followers.
You! Out of the gene pool!
Don't Annoy The Crazy Person.
Practice creative road rage cursing: "May you drop that lit cigerette in your lap!"
This is a sign written on a back of a lorry: Overtakers beware, you might meet the Undertaker
Honk if you like obscene gestures!
(Upside down on the bumper of a Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Jeep Over.
Don't steal, the government hates competition.
New Bumper Sticker cropping up in NY: Run, Hillary, Run. (Democrats use the rear bumper - Republicans have it on the front of their cars!)
You may touch the dust just don't write in it.
Honk if you've never seen an Uzi fired from a car window!