Two months later Dru was still depressed.  It didn’t help that the date her father was supposed to come home on had just passed.

Dru often went to the cemetary where her father was buried.  If she couldn’t get someone to drive her she would wheel herself there, because it was only two and a half miles away.  Going to his grave consoled her, although she would feel worse when she returned home.

Everyone was worrying about Dru, not without good reason.  Even she started worrying that she would always be like this.  She couldn’t find a reason to be happy or positive about anything; she felt like as soon as she found the good in something it would end up being worse than it was when it started!  In short, she became extremely pessimistic.

Ivey and Dru became much closer friends, while Jill and Merry were becoming more distanced from them.  Dru felt she had more in common with Ivey, they had a strong bond that no one could break.  It wasn’t only Jill and Merry Dru was withdrawing from; tension grew between her and most of her old friends.

Dru’s mother was different, too.  She always tried to be cheerful for Dru’s sake.  She saw that Dru was going through a difficult phase, but decided it would be better for her to deal with it on her own, in her own time.  Dru hoped that time would come soon, because she couldn’t go on much longer in this misanthropic state of mind.

Dru had seen Drake a few times after the incident at the hospital.  One was when she was out shopping, and the other two were at Ivey’s house after school.  Instead of making a big scene like she wanted to she simply ignored him.

Even Dru had to admit one good thing came out of her illness.  Brian stopped asking her out.  At the All-School Track Day (in other words: everyone gets to run around outside all day instead of studying), Dru asked Brian why.  She was still in her wheelchair, and Brian had sprained his ankle.  They sat next to each other on the bleachers and watched everyone else have fun.  Dru asked him,  “Why don’t you ask me out anymore?”

“It’s impossible, you’re not here anymore,” was his reply.

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.

“You.  You’re not here anymore.  After your dad died you weren’t the same person.  You used to glow, have an aura bouncing around you.  I noticed it on the first day I saw you.  You seemed like the happiest person I had ever met.”

“And now?” Dru prompted.

“Now you make everything look pointless.  A person can look at your face and see that something happened to you that has made you, well, cryptic!  The radiance that used to hang around you has turned into distress.  You don’t even try to change.”

“I have my reasons.”

“I miss the old Dru, I want the old Dru back.”

“I can’t ever go back.  Too many things have happened.”

“What?  Why?”

Dru didn’t know how to answer those questions.  She could black out like she normally did when she couldn’t deal with something, but she knew she had to deal with her growing predicament eventually.

“Too many. . .I’ve been hurt too much.  I need to be able to find a way to deal with all my problems without hurting myself anymore, and that could take awhile.”

Brian’s face was very expressive.  First, a look of confusion passed over it, then understanding, and finally curiosity.  Dru knew another question was coming.

“What happened to you?  Not your father.  Something else.  It had something to do with that ‘concussion’ we were told you had.  Everybody in school knows there’s more to it!”

Dru started to panic.  “How much does everybody know?”  she asked hysterically.

“Everyone thinks there was a lot more involved, that someone else caused you to get the concussion.”

“Who is the someone?”

“Cade.”

“Cade!  Why would anyone think that?”

“Before this all happened he had probably said three words to you, no more.  And now, well, he’s always there, always trying to help.”

“Then I’m safe, you are wrong.”

“Then who?”

“How do you even know there was a ‘who.’”

“The first day you were gone, Ivey said-”

“Ivey!  She promised she wouldn’t tell!”

“She wouldn’t tell what?” Brian smirked.  Dru had essentially admitted that there actually was something or someone else, and he knew it.

“We’ll talk about it later,” Dru stated.

“Talk about what later, the fact that you’re too scared to have a real conversation with anyone anymore?”

Dru looked at Brian for a long time, and finally answered.  “Yeah.”

“Look, Dru.  We’ve  known each other for what, two years?  I think I’m a pretty good friend of  yours and I know you are a good friend of mine.  What could possibly be so bad that you couldn’t tell me?”

“Lots of things could be.”

“Like what?”

Dru was silent.  She didn’t like where this conversation was leading.  If possible she would never tell another human being about what had happened to her.

“Brian, I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Fine.”

For the rest of the day they were silent.
 

That night Dru thought about what Brian said.  He was correct; he had hit the button.  She was scared of talking to anyone, afraid they would talk her into telling them what happened.

Brian had also thought Dru made everyone around her depressed.  Dru couldn’t be sure, but it was probably true.

While Dru was doing the exercises the doctor said she should do to keep her leg muscles working, the idea came to her.

That’s it!  I need to go to South Africa one last time, to put everthing behind me.  I just know that would work, Dru thought.

There were a few problems of course, the main ones being the fact that she could not walk, and that she fainted recurrently.  Those problems would be easy to fix:  she would just stop herself from fainting, and learn how to walk again.  After all, the doctor often said that if she wanted to walk she could walk, she just wasn’t trying.

The other problem was Dru’s mother.  She had never really said so, but Dru knew she hadn’t liked her going to South Africa in the first place.  How would she feel about it if Dru’s father wasn’t even there?

Dru finished her exercises quickly and walked around the room, gripping the wall.  She did that until her mother got home.  When Marilyn pulled in the driveway Dru stopped.

Dru would be able to walk soon and she would stop fainting.  It would be hard, but soon she would be back to normal, at least physically.  Dru’s goal would be two months until she was normal.  Then she would talk to  her mother.  After all, where there is a will, there’s a way!

Everybody noticed the change in Dru.  All of the sudden she started trying.  She tried to walk, she tried to be cheerful, tried to be friends with everyone she had shunned since January.

At about that time something happened to give Dru’s morale an extreme boost.  She was accepted into the two colleges that were her top choices.  Northeastern University and University of Southern California.

Of course everyone at school knew she was trying to walk.  What better place to try it than at school where there is halls and paths all over the place?  There was one time when Dru’s secret was almost let out, though.  Jill, Merry, and Ivey were at her house.  The four girls were studying for a biology exam.  Dru’s mother had just walked into the kitchen.  Merry had asked,  “Aren’t you proud of your daughter, Ms. Bassey?  She can almost-”

“Uh, Merry can we go back to studying?” Dru had asked nervously.  Fortunatly Marilyn let it slide.  Dru explained to them her plan.  She had to be sure it would be a complete surprise.

Within a month and a half Dru was walking again, normally.  She was proud of herself.  One of her friends once asked her how she had done it so quickly.  She had replied,  “Set a goal for myself.  I want to go to South Africa this summer.  I know Mother won’t let me go if I’m an invalid, so I had to prove myself.”

Dru hadn’t fainted once in the past 64 days, so she decided to tell (or rather, show) Marilyn she could walk.  That night she anxiously awaited her mother’s arrival home.

And then it came.  “Dru, I’m home!”

“In the kitchen,” Dru called back.

She walked in, sniffing the air.  “Mmm, spaghetti.”

Dru walked over to her, took her bags out of her arms and set them down.  “Come sit down.”

Marilyn looked confused for a moment then said,  “You’re walking.  How long have you been able to do this!?”

“About two days.  I’ve been working on it for awhile, and, well, here I am!”

“This is wonderful!”

Dru demonstrated her ‘new’ ability.  “And I haven’t fainted in over two months,” Dru said breathlessly once she had finished.

“And you made dinner.  I know where this is going, what do you want?”

Dru bit her lip.  “Actually I do want something.  I want to go to South Africa this summer.”

Marilyn stared at her.  An absolute blank face with no emotion looked at Dru.  No surprise; no anger; no nervousness; no disbelief.

“I’m fine now, and I’ll be perfect by the end of June, and--”

“NO!  It was one thing when your father could watch over you, but by yourself?  Absolutely not!”

 “Mother, please!  I’m not finished.  I want you to come with me.  You’ve never been there, and I could show you around,” Dru explained.

“I’ll think about it,” Marilyn said slowly.  “Now, I’m going to give you some more practice walking.  Could you get my briefcase out of my car?  I left it in there.”

“Sure.  Be right back.”

Dru walked out of the room and walked to the front door before seeing that her mother’s briefcase was sitting on the couch.  That’s strange, Dru thought, but just assumed her mother thought she left it in the car.

Dru walked back into the kitchen just in time to see her mother set down a plate of spaghetti at Dru’s place.  The rest of the meal followed normally, but neither mentioned South Africa again.
 

Once again she was the same Dru:  happy, lively, positive.  Or that was how it looked anyway.
To everyone else she seemed back to normal, but Dru felt the same way she had felt since January.  She still knew she would never be able to trust guys again.  Drake had ruined that for all of the guys she might have possibly dated.  Her father had killed that little thought in her head that it always happens to everybody else.

For weeks Dru had been successfully avoiding Cade and Brian.  Brian was right, suddenly Cade was always near her, always trying to help her, and he had never been that way before.  Dru thought she knew why, and that scared her.  So Cade was put on her To-Be-Avoided-list.  Brian was on the same list, but for a different reason.  That day on the bleachers, he had almost gotten her to tell him about the real reason she had gotten her concussion.  Brian almost always got what he wanted, and he had come very near to getting it that day.

Every now and then Dru would find a good thing that had come out of those days in January.  Although she was once again renewing her friendship with Jill and Merry, Ivey was still her best friend.  There was an incredible bond between them.

Then, one day, something happened to burst her bubble. Dru found out she was pregnant. The day she figured it out was ingrained in her memory. She had known something was up for a few months already, but figured it had something to do with her illness. But, as time wore on, she knew it must be something else. The doctors would have warned her about it otherwise.

On the way home from school one day, she picked up an at-home pregnancy test. She was surprised at how easy it was. After staring in horror at the little stick for several minutes, Dru destroyed all the evidence of the test and went to her bedroom to curl up in her bed.

She had no idea when this had happened, or where.

Yet, there was a little person growing inside of her.  Dru did not want the child, but would not think of an abortion.  She had many decisions to make in the coming months, decisions no girl in her situation should ever have to make!  There was adoption, and also keeping the child, but Dru did not want it.

Dru decided to write to her friend Amy for advice.  Amy was four years older than Dru, and had been pregnant already.  Dru knew she should see a doctor, but that would mean telling her mother.  And that was something Dru dreaded more than anything.

About a week after Dru asked her mother if she could go to South Africa Marilyn brought up the subject again.  “I cannot come with you because of work reasons, Dru,” she said.

Dru’s face fell.  This isn’t fair!

“But, because you want to go so much I’ll let you.  Your friend Ivey can go with you if you want.”

“Thank you!  Thanks so much!” Dru screamed.

“I’ve already talked to both her and her mother and they have both agreed that this can happen.  The airline reservations are made for June 15.  I hope you do what you need to do on this trip, because after this you’re aren’t going back for a long time!”

Dru was hopping around the room in glee.  In all the years before, going to South Africa hadn’t seemed such a big deal.  Now it was a privilege for her to be able to go.  And with Ivey, such luck!

Marilyn continued,  “By the way, do you know Ivey’s brother Drake?”

Dru panicked.  “What about him?”

“Oh, he just mentioned you.  He wanted to know how you were doing.”

“Oh.”

“I take it you don’t like him.”

Dru shook her head in answer to her mother’s statement.

“He seems like a nice young man.”

If this was not subtle hinting Dru did not know what was.  She thought it horrible that her mother could be fooled so easily!  Dru did not realize her mother was baiting her.
 

The night of graduation was not what Dru expected it to be.

Dru’s hair was arranged so nobody could see her scar, and with the silly square hat on she looked better than she had in months.

Merry, Jill, Ivey, and Dru drove to the auditorium together.  As they tumbled out of the car one of their classmate’s mothers came up and took a picture of them.  It was a picture Dru knew she would keep for a long time.  Merry and Jill were to the right of Dru, laughing and giggling.  Ivey was on her other side, also smiling and happy.  Dru was in the middle, with a wistful look on her face and looking off into the distance.

The four of them went into the auditorium and joined the rest of their classmates.  The four girls all graduated with honors.  Merry gave a wonderful speech, as she was valedictorian.   The day Dru met Merry she had thought Merry looked like a dumb blonde, but had had a feeling she would prove to be anything but dumb.  When Dru had gotten to know her she had seen she was very smart.  And now it was proven.

Someone had caught another picture of Dru after graduation.  She was standing between Brian McLaoy and Cade.  Dru was looking down at her diploma, toying with the red ribbon that was wrapped around it.  Cade and Brian were both looking down at Dru.

The next day she found both of the pictures in her mailbox.

After graduation they all left for the school gym, which had been turned into the perfect setting for the victory dance.  Last year Dru had gone to a few dances and proms, and had also gone to one earlier that year; after that day in January she had not gone to another social gathering of any sort.  She almost had not come to this one, but with the whole class talking about how much fun it would be, Dru knew she would be sorry if she missed it.  Also, Ivey and Jill said they would carry Dru if she did not come willingly.  Dru’s one condition was that she would not bring a date.  So the four of them:  Ivey, Jill, Merry, and Dru came as a group with the intention that the night would be a blast.

As soon as they walked into the gym Merry was whisked away by Neil, who Merry was convinced she had fallen in love with.  Jill was on the food committee and had to oversee some of the preparations.  That left Ivey and Dru sitting at a cheap table on the side of the dance floor.  Within a few minutes Ivey was asked to dance, and she did so with the assurance that Dru would be fine by herself.
Dru was soon joined by Brian.

“Hi,” she said with fake cheerfulness.

“Don’t give me that phony smile.  Why are you sitting here being bored out of your mind when you could be out having the time of your life dancing?”  Brian had a demanding look in his eyes.

Dru did not feel like dancing.  She felt like sitting there and wallowing in her self-pity.  She felt a terrible premonition, like something bad was going to happen in the foreseeable future.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“You never feel like it.”

“Is that a problem?”

“For me, it is.”

“And why is that?”

“Because I want to dance with you.”

“I’m not going to dance with anyone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Very,” Dru said with aplomb.

Brian grabbed her and pulled her out into the middle of everyone.  “I thought you said you weren’t going to dance with anyone,” Brian smiled with a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

“Not willingly.”

“Just relax.  Its not like dancing could hurt you.”

Dru did relax, and after a few songs she actually started having fun.  For those few hours that night she felt like her old self again.  She danced with tons of people, and actually had fun and didn’t feel self-conscious and suspicious of them.

At about midnight she was dancing with Brian again.  He looked down at her and said,  “You’ve done it.”

“What did I do?”

“You are back to normal.  You are just like how you were the day I first saw you.  This is great!”

“Normal?”  Dru questioned, confused.

“You look happy again.  You are absolutely glowing.”

“Is that good?”

“Wonderful!”

After he said that he gently pulled her face towards his and kissed her.  Dru immediatly pushed him away.

He looked at Dru.  “You aren’t glowing anymore.”

“I know.”  She had thought they could dance as friends, without getting all mushy.  Her opinion was now made even more unbreakable than it had been in the beginning.  She could not be friends with a guy without getting romantic.  How utterly stupid of her to think it was possible!

She turned around and retreated to the tables again.  Brian followed.

“I just want to be friends, Brian.”

“That’s what everyone says.”

“Unfortunatly the majority of all people lie a lot.  Unlike all of them I actually mean what I say.”

“Yeah, whatever.”  Brian stood up and went away.  A few minutes later Cade sat down next to her.

“I saw you out there,” he said.

“Your point?” Dru was in a sour mood now.

“You were very happy.  I could see it, so could everyone else.”

“It was just a few hours.  It didn’t mean anything.”

“Yes it did.  It meant you’re starting to join the rest of us again.  Slowly at first, until you trust us enough to become normal again.”

“Trust is something I don’t have a lot of.”

“It will grow.”

“We’ll see.”

“You know, Dru, I’d like to see you happy again.”

“No one is ever always happy.”

“Happy like you used to be.  When I first saw you, you looked absolutely joyous.  That made you beautiful.  And now you just sit here with a blank expression on your face, and when it is not blank it is one of anger, surprise, disgust, and every now and then wistfulness.”

“How did you become such an expert on what I look like?”

“I watch you, which is how I knew you were happy tonight.”

“It comes and goes.”

“Try to make it come more often then it goes.  Please?”  Cade finished with a pleading look in his eyes.

I’d like to, Cade, I’d really like to.  But I don’t know how, Dru thought.

Her eyes started misting over, but she didn’t cry.  She was still strong.  She gave Cade her answer,  “No.  No, it would be nice, but some things you just can’t ever bring back.  And happiness is one of them.”

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