To start, this first lot have been graciously donated by Sara Josephson, a blonde New Yorker with sense of humour. (Rare, I know :)...
These are "bim" words or "bimbo lingo". Because of all the blonde jokes, blondes are thought of as bimbos. The prefix "bim" is used to create new words that describe the behavior or characteristics of blondes. Here are a few examples:
Bimbabble - noises coming from a group of blondes trying to hold a conservation.
Bimbaffled - constant mental state of blondes.
Bimbait - short skirts, sheer blouses, string bikinis or other clothing worn by blondes in an attempt to attract the attention of males.
Bimbar - a bar where blondes hang out wearing bimbait.
Bimbeach -- a beach where blondes hang out wearing bimbait.
Bimbag - a blonde's purse.
Bimbrushes - essential equipment in a bimbag.
Bimbastic surgeon - specialist in breast enhancements for blondes.
Bimbreasts - blondes' surgically enhanced breasts, two reasons guys talk to blondes.
Bimbra - a specially built bra designed to display the cleavage of blondes.
Bimbuns - that upon which a blonde sits, another reason guys talk to blondes.
Bimbox - yellow box, the only other reason guys talk to blondes.
Bimbeeper - special instrument used as a homing device for lost blondes.
Bimboil -- condition of a blonde as she hears a blonde joke being told that she doesn't understand yet.
Bimbellow - sound emanating from a blonde after she finally got the most recent blonde joke she heard.
Bimbillion??? - a blonde giving an estimate of anything.
Bimblaze - the result of a blonde trying to cook.
Bimblues - a blonde's state of mind after her latest boyfriend ditched her.
Bimboette - a young blonde.
Bimbonese - language spoken by blondes, largely unintelligible to anyone else.
Bimbonique behavior - airhead behavior, unique to blondes.
Bimboozle - to fool a blonde.
Bimbore - a blonde who uses "like" more than 10 times in a sentence.
Bimbozo - another name for a blonde.
Bimboron - a blonde even less intelligent than most other blondes.
Bimbrownie - a well-tanned blonde.
Bimbrunette - a blonde who dyes her hair brunette, usually to appear smarter than she actually is.
Bimburden - blonde carrying too many bags at the mall.
Bimbessence - Aura created when a blonde enters a room.
Bimbezzle - A blonde bank teller.
Bimbi - Blonde with the traditional bimbo name Bambi.
Bimbino - A baby blonde.
Bimbitude - State of being a blonde.
Bimbobble - A blonde playing catch.
Bimbosity - Degree of being blonde.
Bimbouy - A blonde in the water.
Bimp - The Goodyear Blonde.
Bimple - A blonde with acne.
............
More from Sara (who is obviously trying to keep me busy :)
Q: What do you call a brunette wearing a blonde wig?
A: Undercover intelligence.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who was found unconscious in her jail cell with a dozen bumps on her head?
A: She tried to hang herself with a bungee cord.
THE BREAST STROKE
A group of redheads, brunettes, and blondes had a race across the English Channel using the breast stroke. After about four hours, the redheads and brunettes began arriving on the beach and toweling off. About thirty minutes later, the last redhead and brunette finished the race. Several hours later,
the first blonde arrived on the beach, exhausted. The judges ran up to her and gave her some tea to warm her up. After she finally caught her breath, the judges asked where all the blondes were. "Still out at sea," she gasped.
So the judges asked why it was taking the blondes so long to finish the race. "Well," said the blonde, "I don't want to complain, but I think all those other women were using their arms."
THE MIRROR
Two brunettes and a blonde were exercising in a rec center and when they finished, they went to the locker room. There they saw a strange woman give each woman her wish if she spoke the truth, but to beware because if she didn't speak the truth the mirror would suck her in and she would be lost in a nether world.
The first brunette went up to the mirror and said "I think I am both attractive and intelligent". Immediately the keys to a brand-new Lexus appeared, and the strange woman congratulated her, telling her that her Lexus was now in the parking lot.
The second brunette then went up to the mirror and said "I also think I am both attractive and intelligent". Immediately a stack of $100 bills appeared, and the strange woman congratulated her as well.
The blonde was now ecstatic, anticipating her wish coming true. She went up to the mirror and said "I think ... " when suddenly she was sucked into the mirror. The strange woman shook her head and said to the two brunettes "We lose so many blondes this way".
Q: What are "The Top Ten Reasons Why Blondes & Computers Don't Mix?"
A:
1. there are too many numbers past 1.
2. it's not easy to remove fingernail polish from the keys.
3. too many broken nails jam the keyboard.
4. the alphabet is not in the right order on the keyboard.
5. blondes can't figure out which key starts the food processor or MTV.
6. computers refuse to answer when blondes talk to them.
7. the joystick is always wet.
8. blondes keep ruining the CD-ROM by using it as a "popout cup holder".
9. the screen can't handle that much whiteout.
10. blondes keep trying to force feed cheese to the mouse.
..............
Q: How can you tell if a blonde has been using the computer?
A: The joystick is wet.
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: What do Blondes say after sex?
> >A1: Thanks Guys.
> >A2: Are you boys all in the same band?
> >A3: Do you guys all play for the Green Bay Packers?
Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes twinkle?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it the looser it gets.
Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: What do blonds and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
Q: Why was the blondes' belly button sore ?
A: Because her boyfriend was blonde too.
Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave
Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde's ass?
A: A brain tumor.
Q: What do you get when you turn 3 blondes upside-down?
A: Two brunettes.
Q: What's the Blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde,
I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."
Q: Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
A: To see what was on the other side.
Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?
A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.
Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle?
A: She realized she gave her last blowjob.
Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?
A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.
Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.
Q: Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A: From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.
Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.
Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.
Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears?
A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides.
Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.
Q: Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around
too much.
Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?
A: Because it kept falling out.
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw
puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Q: Why does it work?
A: "Does 3 come before E or does it go between M and W?"
Q: Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
A: She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!
Q: What is the blonde's favorite potato chip?
A: Free-to-lay (Frito-Lay).
Q: What is blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, ....?
A: A blond doing cartwheels.
Q: What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp?
A: They both get screwed on the front of a Ford Escort.
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver?
A: She missed the Earth!
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who had two chances to get pregnant?
A: She blew it both times!
Q: What do a moped and a blonde have in common?
A: They're both fun to ride until a friend sees you on one.
Q: How do you know when a blond's been in your frige?
A: Lipstick on the cucumbers!
Q: What do a blonde and an instant lottery ticket have in common?
A: All you have to do is scratch the box to win.
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and an inflatable doll?
A: About 2 cans of hair spray
Q: What's the quickest way to get into a blondes pants?
A: Pick them up off the floor.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives?
A: The vegetable garden.
Q: How many blondes does it take to play tag?
A: One.
Q: What do you call four Blondes in a Volkswagon?
A: Far-from-thinkin
Q: Why don't they let Blondes swim in the ocean?
A: Because they can't get the smell out of the tuna.
Q: What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
A: She slipped off and fell down the drain.
Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina?
A1: The Blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'?
A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.'
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.
Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blonde electrician.
Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A: So brunettes can remember them.
Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.
Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde?
A: Perri-air
Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!
Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.