'Twas The Night Before Doomsday  

'Twas the night before doomsday

and all through the house,

everyone felt shitty,

even the mouse.  

Mom at the whore house

and Dad smoking grass,

and I just settled down

for a nice piece of ass.  

When out on the lawn

I heard such a clatter,

I sprang from my piece

to see what was the matter.  

Then out on the lawn

I saw a big dick,

I knew in  a moment

it must be St. Prick.  

He came down the chimney

like a bat out of hell,

I knew in a moment

the fucker had fell.

He filled all the stockings

with pretzels and beer,

and a big rubber dick,

for my brother, the queer.  

He rose up the chimney

with a thunderous fart.

The son-of-a-bitch

blew the chimney apart.

He swore and he cursed

as he rode out of sight.

"Piss on you all,

and have one hell of a night!!!"      

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