The Night Before Finals
'Twas the night before finals,
And all through the college,
The students were praying
For last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy,
But none touched their beds,
While visions of essays
danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns,
A few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor
would loosen their thinking.
In my own bedroom,
I had been pacing,
And dreading exams
That I soon would be facing.
My roommate was zoned-out,
His nose in his books,
And my comments to him
Drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee,
And brewed a new pot,
Not even noticing
That my nerves were shot.
I stared at my notes,
But my thoughts were muddy,
My eyes went ablur --
I just couldn't study.
"Some pizza might help,"
I said with a shiver,
But each place I called
Refused to deliver.
I'd nearly concluded
That life was too cruel,
With my future depending
On grades had in school.
When all of a sudden,
Our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put-It-Off
Ambled inside.
His spirit was careless,
His manner was mellow,
My look disbelieving,
As he started to bellow:
"What kind of student
Would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers
What they tossed at us?"
"On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes!
On Last Year's Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit,
And Last Minute Crams!"
His message delivered,
He vanished from sight,
But we heard him laughing
Outside in the night.
"Your teachers have slammed you,
So just do your best.
Happy Finals to All,
And to All, a good test."
From the Best Of: Humor Mailing List