McDonnell Douglas Registration Form

 
         MCDONNELL DOUGLAS
         AIRCRAFT-SPACE SYSTEMS-MISSILES
 
             Important! Important!
 
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
 
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft.  In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below.  Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
 
1. _Mr.  _Mrs.  _Ms.  _Miss  _Lt.  _Gen.  _Comrade  _Classified _Other
 
First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
 
Latitude________________________Longitude__________________________________
 
Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
 
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
 
  _F-14 Tomcat   _F-15 Eagle  _F-16 Falcon  _F-119A Stealth  _Classified
 
3. Date of purchase:  Month___________Day___________Year____________
 
4. Serial Number____________________
 
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
 
__Received as Gift/Aid Package
__Catalog Showroom
__Sleazy Arms Broker
__Mail Order
__Discount Store
__Government Surplus
__Hijacked it using one of our spies
__Classified
 
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
 
__Heard loud noise, looked up
__Store Display
__Espionage
__Recommended by friend/relative/ally
__Political lobbying by Manufacturer
__Was attacked by one
__Was bombed by one

7.  Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
 
__Style/Appearance
__Kickback/Bribe
__Recommended by salesperson
__Speed/Maneuverability
__Comfort/Convenience
__McDonnell Douglas Reputation
__Advanced Weapons Systems
__Price/Value
__Back-Room Politics
__Negative experience opposing one in combat
 
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
 
__Latin America
__South America
__Aircraft Carrier
__Europe
__Middle East
__Africa
__Asia/Far East
__Misc. Third-World Countries
__Classified
 
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:
 
Product                 Own     Intend to purchase

ICBM                    ___     ____
Killer Satellite        ___     ____
Air-to-Air Missiles     ___     ____
Space Shuttle           ___     ____
Nuclear Weapon          ___     ____
Hydrogen/Neutron Bomb   ___     ____
Light Sabre             ___     ____
X-Wing Fighter          ___     ____
Millenium Falcon        ___     ____
Imperial Star Destroyer ___     ____
Death Star              ___     ____
 
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization?  Check all
that apply:
 
__Communist/Socialist
__Terrorist
__Islamic Fundamentalist
__Zionist
__Nazi
__Neutral
__Democratic
__Dictatorship
__Corrupt (Latin American)
__Corrupt (Other)
__Primitive/Tribal
 
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
 
__Cash
__Suitcases of Cocaine
__Oil Revenues
__Deficit Spending
__Personal Check
__Credit Card
__Ransom Money
__Traveller's Check
__Swiss bank account transactions
__Counterfeit $100 bills

12. Occupation          You     Your Spouse
 
Revolutionary           ___     ____
Clerical                ___     ____
Mercenary               ___     ____
Tyrant                  ___     ____
Corporate CEO           ___     ____
Dictator                ___     ____
Oil Billionaire         ___     ____
Drug Lord               ___     ____
Defense Minister/General___     ____
Retired                 ___     ____
Student                 ___     ____
 
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
 
Activity/Interest               You     Your Spouse

Sabotage                        ___     ___
Propaganda/Disinformation       ___     ___
Destabilizing/Overthrow         ___     ___
Bankruptcy                      ___     ___
Industrial Espionage            ___     ___
Black Market/Smuggling          ___     ___
Interrogation/Torture           ___     ___
Crushing Rebellions             ___     ___
Military Reconnaissance         ___     ___
Border Disputes                 ___     ___
Mutually Assured Destruction    ___     ___
Sex Trade                       ___     ___
Golf                            ___     ___

Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire.  Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
 
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?  Please write to:
 
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500
 
 

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