Scene One: Elsinore Castle, "You" walks on stage dressed in a neon pink version of a 'Pillsbury Doughboy' costume. As "You" walk on stage "You" dodge an infinite amount of chimps furiously typing away (for all of infinite eternity- redundant isn't it?) on something akin to Shakespeare, sidestepping the simultaneously live/dead cat in the box and the dog fervently drooling puddles each time a mysterious bell pings, "You" stand mid stage and look around....

            You: Okay bitch*, you got me all the way out here, now what is sooooo special about your web site that i simply must see? Nothing you say? Its all a big lump of egotistical shite? - typical of you. Ill give you points for honesty and the lovely attire you have picked out for me- Pink is my color- so where do I go? Take me! (*Author's note: this is not an obscenity but instead an affectionate term inserted for realism) "You" flings off costume and runs naked giggling about Colgate toothpaste smiles, belly dancers and oven cleaner.