January 19, 1999 9:15 P.M.

Good evening everyone.
Definitely in better spirits today.
Took one of those relaxing bath’s this afternoon.
Re-did my web page. The start page anyway. Plan on getting the rest of it worked out too. Not sure if I will get a chance to do it tomorrow or not. Not likely. Have a busy day planned already.

Wish I hadn’t said stuff to the priest now. I feel like crap about it. But I did speak what was on my mind and what was bothering me. I know there is much more to our relationship than the apparent difficulties we have. Sometimes, I am overly critical of our relationship. Tonight Pierre came home for about an hour and brought Tim-bits for us. What a sweetie. I really liked it that he did that. Times like today that I wonder how it is that I can want to strangle him so much. But then there are the days that I want to strangle him and I think what the hell is going on........he’s an idiot. I imagine that he often thinks the same about me. One thing I do know is he loves me, more than anyone else ever has. Kinda scary really. Our biggest problem (for me) is getting around our differences. He apparently thinks everything is fine. He usually does and if he doesn’t the problem is me. lol Well......not really........sometimes he will call me up and say he is wrong or sorry or whatever. He usually misses me so much when he is gone, he calls and sees what I’m doing or just to talk. I love talking to him (when i’m not busy), it can be annoying if I’m trying to do something. But it is really an enduring quality; that he cares so much. I really don’t know why my emotions got the better of me the other day. Ok......that’s all I’m gonna say about this stuff for now. I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to argue a case either way. I suppose I just need to do some thinking about all this stuff. btw......we may end up postponing the wedding.

Lot’s of love
Christine