Monday, August 31, 1999 8:45 A.M.

Hey there!

One day last week Pierre left around 4 a.m.  I almost always wake up to say good bye and give him a hug.  Pierre came back in to tell me to come see the Northern Lights.  I was so glad he did, and thanked him too.  I have never seen them so pretty.  The were beautiful.  There wasn't a cloud in the sky, even the stars looked brighter.  It was breath taking.

I think it was Thursday night I stayed up til 4:30 a.m.  I talked on the internet to Ball and his friend Mike (he was at the campout).  Later on I talked to Rebel.   I haven't seen him in ages.  It was a very good chat.  I think that is the most I have ever chatted with him.  We talked about our common problem of not being able to sleep.  Two very different reason's for it.  But it was nice to talk to someone who understood the frustration of it.  He also told me a book that sounds very interesting.  I really want to read it now.  I hope the small library has it.  I might go there today before Baseball to see if they do.

I miss my kids.  They are gone to their Dad's, will be back on Saturday.   They are so special to me.  Each one is unique and has unique talents.   Josh is artistic, Robert athletic, and Brandon creative.  I'm sure Brandon will grow up to be a great novelist.  Although, he wants to be a police sketch artist and do computer animation (like Toy Story).  He has been firm on that for about a year now.

I have started making a list of things I am going to accomplish in my life time.   So.....I bet I won't be on here as much.  Some of the things seem a bit far fetched but by God I am going to set out today to start to work on them.  They are my dreams and ambitions.  I have found the courage to start to dream again.  I have decided that try as I may get the hell off the ground and get back up on the horse.   One of these days, I won't be falling off.  I've also committed myself to getting more spiritually closer to God.  I am going to change the things in my life that need to be done and I have put off.  I am the great procrastinator.  I have already started to put this in motion.  The major reason Pierre and I are getting married is that we love each other but I can't live with him and not feel somewhat guilty spiritually.  It has been eating away at me for about 2 years now.  (You know, the whole premarital sex is a sin thing.)  I don't think Pierre even comprehends that.

Call me crazy but I have been thinking I should start praying every day too, maybe even reading out of the bible too.  I have always wanted to read that from top to bottom.   Have started to a couple of times.  Hell, I'm going to put that on my to do list.  I know ya all must think I've gone mad.  I am turning into a religious freak.  The truth of the matter is I have always been a spiritual person and I have always been a freak (although not to the extreme).

And speaking of internet pals, I miss some that I haven't talked to in ages.   Anarchy666 and Eggs where are you guys?  I was thinking of writing eggs a letter and asking how he is, and his grammama too.  In fact I am gonna do that right now.

Talk at you later.
Lots of love,
Christine