Taking a Dump!
Just what you've been waiting for, it's a guide to having a DUMP!
Not for the faint hearted or those that have just eaten, but read
on and enjoy. You can almost smell it!
GHOST DUMP: The kind where you feel the dump come out, but
there is no dump in the toilet.
CLEAN DUMP: The kind where you dump it out, see it in the
toilet, but there is nothing on the paper.
WET DUMP: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it
still feels unwiped, so you have to put some toilet paper between
your butt and your underwear so you don't ruin them with a stain.
SECOND WAVE DUMP: This happens when you're done dump-ing and
you've pulled your pants up to your knees, and you realize that
you have to dump some more.
POP-A-VEIN-IN-YOUR-FOREHEAD-DUMP: The kind where you strain so
much to get it out, you practically have a stroke.
LINCOLN LOG DUMP: The kind of dump that is so huge you're
afraid to flush without first breaking it into little pieces
with the toilet brush.
GASSEY DUMP: It's so noisy, everyone within earshot giggles.
DRINKER DUMP: The kind of dump you have the morning after a
night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the skid marks
on the bottom of the toilet.
CORN DUMP: (Self-explanatory)
GEE-I-WISH-I-COULD-DUMP-DUMP: The kind where you want to
dump, but all you do is set on the toilet and fart a few times.
SPINAL TAP DUMP: This is when it hurts so badly coming out you'd
swear it was leaving you sideways.
WET CHEEKS DUMP: (The Power Dump). The kind that comes out of
your butt so fast, your butt cheeks get splashed with water.
LIQUID DUMP: The kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out
of your butt and splashes all over the toilet bowl.
MEXICAN DUMP: It smells so badly your nose burns.
UPPER CLASS DUMP: The kind of dump that has no odor.
THE SURPRISE DUMP: You are not at the toilet because you think
you are about to fart but...oops...a DUMP!!!
THE DANGLING DUMP: This dump refuses to drop into the toilet
even though you know you are done dump-ing it. You just pray
that a shake or two will cut it loose.
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