I am lost in an unfamiliar world...
One that I don't want to know.
And often I think I could continue
not caring where my life might go.

I was thrown into this sad position;
Not askin, nor expectin i'd be..
So I'm askin why I must continue

this person's life....it just isn't me.
As normal, I dreamt in my childhood
how I'd grow up; how my life would be.
But my God, whom I'd grown up believin
turned a family of four into three.

I have guilt for the anger I'm feelin,
and I have fear for the guilt, don't you see?
For I'm tryin w/ all of my bein
to understand what my Lord wants of me.

I had two children; just as I'd wanted.
A sweet girl and a handsome yound boy.
And I signed in agreement with doctors
to make these two my only birth joys.

They both grew w/ health and no sickness
other than normal measles and flu.
Then my daughter woke up in heaven one dawn
and there was nothin nobody could do.

God just picked her up lightly from all of his flock
He didn't ask.... He just took what he would.
And he left us alone to handle life....
Life w/out her.! Why'd he let her be born?
I remain here in this place unchosen,
And I'll continue on wonderin why.?
Why a brilliant child was denied her chance
to make a difference.......or at least to make a try....

And I'll wonder until the day that I die.

I try now to see her as she looks down on me
and my dreams bring her to me so I can hold her tenderly.
I have problems sayin "Stacey, all is well there... don't ya know?
Becos I myself think only of how I MISS YOU SO!!

The room was painted
And the crib in place
Waiting for you to be born.

But our hopes and dreams faded
The terrible truth we faced
That you would never come home.

Your laughter and cries
Absent from our ears
Your first words left unspoken.

Instead it is our eyes
That shed all the tears
Our hearts empty and broken.

We'll always miss you so
Our sweet little one
Until we meet once again.

When we look to the stars we know
You're not really gone
Just waiting for us in Heaven.

We'll love you forever
There's a very special place
Where we hold you in our hearts.

But as long as we're together
In God's loving embrace
We'll never be far apart.


By Sandy Webb c.1997