How are you on this beautiful God given day? I miss you sweetheart! Today I read a peom a lady had written for her child. It was about the memories she was having of her time with her child. There was a line in the poem that said something about the sweet memory of her childs lips forming the beautiful words "I love you Grammy" I thought it was so wonderful that she has those memories. I never got to hear you say those words to me, your grammy. But you know what? I didn't have to hear the words to see and feel the love you had for me in your eyes and the way you smiled. Besides, those were words, I said to you every single day. You were to young to understand what I was saying but you felt the love I had and showed to you. My love for you was so powerful, no words were needed. So does that love for you still live within my wounded heart. I feel your beautiful spirit all around me. But it is the beautiful physical part, the little arms that wraped themselves around my neck, the little baby voice you had, the sound of you jabbering with Kitt. That beautiful smile I woke up to every morning, the wonderful messes you made at meal times and yes, even the smelly gifts you gave to me when you needed changing. The wrestling matches we always had in the middle of the floor. The toys you kept leaving on the floor for me to step on barefooted, that made me dance around with an ouchy. The dolls you always pulled from their chair so you could sit and baby drool on their pretty ribbons. Speaking of ribbons, I miss the way you always looked every morning with your bad hair day because you slept on it funny and it was always sticking up everywhere in the mornings. Those are some of the physical things I miss most about you. It's the things I can no longer see, feel, touch, hear, smell and hold that I miss so much! I close my eyes and reach for you, but my arms close around only air. Then I open my eyes and the tears roll slowly down my cheek. I can hear a baby cry out on television and I still catch myself wanting to run go see what has made you cry. Then reality comes back and my heart sinks because I can not comfort your tears away the way Grammy used to do. I'm getting better though sweetheart. I don't cry as much anymore, even though a day doesn't go by without me thinking of you. So, I guess you really are still here in a sense. Because there is so many memories of the things you used to do as you played.
Well sweet angel, it sure is getting late and I better get off to bed. I only want to have my little angels letter finished before saying my prayers for the night. So I bid you a goodnight. Goodnight sweetheart, it's time to go.
With my Deepest Love
Grammy
