Lindsay's Past Bright Moves
a personal shrine to my own stupidity
So I do stupid stuff at work, you'll have that. It never fails that when we get busy I'm the only one working. So there's like 6 tables that I'm waiting on and of course since I have no time it makes sense they want coffee and dessert. I usually only work on Sunday so I'm not around when stuff gets moved or in some cases gets broken. One of my co-workers had at some point during the week, broken the door off the coffee cup/saucer cupboard. Instead of fixing it or leaving it off, they wedged it back in and moved the contents infront of the door on the otherside. Well of course I forgot in my rush, as I attempted to pull the door open and it flew off in my hands, goes flying to the floor. In my frusteration I did what should've been done in the first place, yelled and gave it a good swift kick underneath the cupboard. I could hear the one table making fun of me right out loud. In conclusion, I do not get paid enough.
This is really more something silly that I said than something dumbass that I did but guess what, this is my page and I can put what I like here! Hehe. Anyways at work tonite I was telling two couples what the sides that came with their dinners were. One of the choices happened to be wild rice. And one of the women says, "The rice is wild?" and I said, "Yes, it's wild. It can't be tamed." C'mon, that's at least a little amusing to you isn't it? The other woman's husband thought so, he asked me if we had any domestic rice.
Another incident with the car......My three friends and I were following the players bus home from a basketball game and I was tailgating a bit. The bus pulled into Burger King and I went right behind it, well I see the bus kinda tilt a little and next thing you know we're driving over a median. I didn't even see it until it was too late. I ended up with one wheel on each side of it. I didn't dare try to drive over it cuz I didn't think I'd make it, not without blowing a tire or two anyways. So I drove all the way up it with only minimal scraping. And thankfully our friend Joe had pointed out what was going on so I took a fair bit of harassment when we got inside.
Well I got my driver's license a few days ago and my first day was eventful. When we got back to town I dropped my dad at his office and called one of my friends to see if she wanted to ride around. Well obviously she did so we "cruised the strip" for awhile. Then the local police car goes by and flashes his lights at me. I'm like that's wierd. He turns around and flashes them again so I pull over. Well I wasn't in trouble or anything, my friend's mom works for the police dispatch and needed her home. Well instead of going home, we went to McDonald's to call our respective parentals. I went to use the phone and it ate my quarter so I headed back to the car for another. Pull the handle of the door....locked. Yup, my friend had hit the locks on the door when she got out. And convienently I only had the keys to ignition because the other keys were on my dad's key ring which he had needed to get into the office, and why would I need them anyway? So I had borrow a quarter to call my mom to come open the door for me. It was really sad.
Well this was actually way more embarassing than it probably sounds but I'm getting desperate for new stuff and to my surprise I don't behave stupidly as often as I thought I did! Anyways, my friend Danielle and I were headed for gym class and we were standing outside our coach's office preparing to beg for permission not to change. So up the stairs comes the guy's hot gym coach who sees us and says "Hello hello ladies." To which we both reply in stereo (as if it wouldn't have been bad enough had only one of us done it) "Hiiiiii!" in that sighing "I'm in love with you" voice. I realized what just occured and closed my eyes in a half cringe while I silently cursed my gayness but Danielle assures me he walked away laughing.
I had Saturday off this week so I went to the movies with my friend Phil. Always thinking ahead I headed for the bathroom before the movie started so I wouldn't have to go in the middle of it. Perhaps I wasn't thinking that far ahead because I walk into the bathroom and push a stall door open. Well it wasn't empty! Some woman had forgotten to lock her door and I smacked her in the head with it just as she was sitting down. Whoops, sorry!
This is the most embarassing experience I've had since the start of this section. I must share. At Subway -surprise surprise- we cater to the needs of local camp counsolers. A counsoler that comes in pretty often was getting a sub and one to go. I was making the one to go while he talked with my co-worker who was making his. Well I hear my co worker say what I think is "Yeah I haven't seen home all Summer." which makes sense to me cuz I sure haven't. So I pipe up "I sleep there occasionally!" They both look at me and go what? My co-worker says "You sleep at Thoma's? What aren't you telling me?" Thoma is a hot foreign counsoler that works at the same camp. My co-worker had said that she "Hadn't seen Thoma all summer." Yeah I was close. They both just kept laughing and I pretty much wanted to die cuz I'm fairly certain Thoma will be told ASAP.
For your viewing pleasure "A Subway Incident." The first of many to come I'm sure. While making a sub for a woman I proceeded to ask her the endless array of questions I'm required to ask a person about their sandwich preferences. There were people waiting in line behind her and they were talking about ice cream as I asked her if she'd like cheese and mayonaise on her sub. Well I heard them and it came out, "Would you like cheese and ice cream on that?" The best part being that she didn't even adknowledge that I said it. She just looked at me and said yes please like it was normal. The people in line could not stop laughing.
Well this week My bright move this week took place in Biology class although it has nothing to do with Bio. Somehow the movie The Princess Bride came up. Never having seen the movie I asked my friend Kelly, "Wasn't Harrison Ford in that?" She's like no. I said, "Are you sure?" she's like yeah. So I thought about it "Oh wait, Harrison Ford was in the Prince of Tides!" Everyone was highly amused. Princess Bride, Prince of Tides....same difference.
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO
This is really more something silly that I said than something dumbass that I did but guess what, this is my page and I can put what I like here! Hehe. Anyways at work tonite I was telling two couples what the sides that came with their dinners were. One of the choices happened to be wild rice. And one of the women says, "The rice is wild?" and I said, "Yes, it's wild. It can't be tamed." C'mon, that's at least a little amusing to you isn't it? The other woman's husband thought so, he asked me if we had any domestic rice.
Another incident with the car......My three friends and I were following the players bus home from a basketball game and I was tailgating a bit. The bus pulled into Burger King and I went right behind it, well I see the bus kinda tilt a little and next thing you know we're driving over a median. I didn't even see it until it was too late. I ended up with one wheel on each side of it. I didn't dare try to drive over it cuz I didn't think I'd make it, not without blowing a tire or two anyways. So I drove all the way up it with only minimal scraping. And thankfully our friend Joe had pointed out what was going on so I took a fair bit of harassment when we got inside.
Well I got my driver's license a few days ago and my first day was eventful. When we got back to town I dropped my dad at his office and called one of my friends to see if she wanted to ride around. Well obviously she did so we "cruised the strip" for awhile. Then the local police car goes by and flashes his lights at me. I'm like that's wierd. He turns around and flashes them again so I pull over. Well I wasn't in trouble or anything, my friend's mom works for the police dispatch and needed her home. Well instead of going home, we went to McDonald's to call our respective parentals. I went to use the phone and it ate my quarter so I headed back to the car for another. Pull the handle of the door....locked. Yup, my friend had hit the locks on the door when she got out. And convienently I only had the keys to ignition because the other keys were on my dad's key ring which he had needed to get into the office, and why would I need them anyway? So I had borrow a quarter to call my mom to come open the door for me. It was really sad.
Well this was actually way more embarassing than it probably sounds but I'm getting desperate for new stuff and to my surprise I don't behave stupidly as often as I thought I did! Anyways, my friend Danielle and I were headed for gym class and we were standing outside our coach's office preparing to beg for permission not to change. So up the stairs comes the guy's hot gym coach who sees us and says "Hello hello ladies." To which we both reply in stereo (as if it wouldn't have been bad enough had only one of us done it) "Hiiiiii!" in that sighing "I'm in love with you" voice. I realized what just occured and closed my eyes in a half cringe while I silently cursed my gayness but Danielle assures me he walked away laughing.
I had Saturday off this week so I went to the movies with my friend Phil. Always thinking ahead I headed for the bathroom before the movie started so I wouldn't have to go in the middle of it. Perhaps I wasn't thinking that far ahead because I walk into the bathroom and push a stall door open. Well it wasn't empty! Some woman had forgotten to lock her door and I smacked her in the head with it just as she was sitting down. Whoops, sorry!
This is the most embarassing experience I've had since the start of this section. I must share. At Subway -surprise surprise- we cater to the needs of local camp counsolers. A counsoler that comes in pretty often was getting a sub and one to go. I was making the one to go while he talked with my co-worker who was making his. Well I hear my co worker say what I think is "Yeah I haven't seen home all Summer." which makes sense to me cuz I sure haven't. So I pipe up "I sleep there occasionally!" They both look at me and go what? My co-worker says "You sleep at Thoma's? What aren't you telling me?" Thoma is a hot foreign counsoler that works at the same camp. My co-worker had said that she "Hadn't seen Thoma all summer." Yeah I was close. They both just kept laughing and I pretty much wanted to die cuz I'm fairly certain Thoma will be told ASAP.
For your viewing pleasure "A Subway Incident." The first of many to come I'm sure. While making a sub for a woman I proceeded to ask her the endless array of questions I'm required to ask a person about their sandwich preferences. There were people waiting in line behind her and they were talking about ice cream as I asked her if she'd like cheese and mayonaise on her sub. Well I heard them and it came out, "Would you like cheese and ice cream on that?" The best part being that she didn't even adknowledge that I said it. She just looked at me and said yes please like it was normal. The people in line could not stop laughing.
Well this week My bright move this week took place in Biology class although it has nothing to do with Bio. Somehow the movie The Princess Bride came up. Never having seen the movie I asked my friend Kelly, "Wasn't Harrison Ford in that?" She's like no. I said, "Are you sure?" she's like yeah. So I thought about it "Oh wait, Harrison Ford was in the Prince of Tides!" Everyone was highly amused. Princess Bride, Prince of Tides....same difference.
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO
Well I got my driver's license a few days ago and my first day was eventful. When we got back to town I dropped my dad at his office and called one of my friends to see if she wanted to ride around. Well obviously she did so we "cruised the strip" for awhile. Then the local police car goes by and flashes his lights at me. I'm like that's wierd. He turns around and flashes them again so I pull over. Well I wasn't in trouble or anything, my friend's mom works for the police dispatch and needed her home. Well instead of going home, we went to McDonald's to call our respective parentals. I went to use the phone and it ate my quarter so I headed back to the car for another. Pull the handle of the door....locked. Yup, my friend had hit the locks on the door when she got out. And convienently I only had the keys to ignition because the other keys were on my dad's key ring which he had needed to get into the office, and why would I need them anyway? So I had borrow a quarter to call my mom to come open the door for me. It was really sad.
Well this was actually way more embarassing than it probably sounds but I'm getting desperate for new stuff and to my surprise I don't behave stupidly as often as I thought I did! Anyways, my friend Danielle and I were headed for gym class and we were standing outside our coach's office preparing to beg for permission not to change. So up the stairs comes the guy's hot gym coach who sees us and says "Hello hello ladies." To which we both reply in stereo (as if it wouldn't have been bad enough had only one of us done it) "Hiiiiii!" in that sighing "I'm in love with you" voice. I realized what just occured and closed my eyes in a half cringe while I silently cursed my gayness but Danielle assures me he walked away laughing.
I had Saturday off this week so I went to the movies with my friend Phil. Always thinking ahead I headed for the bathroom before the movie started so I wouldn't have to go in the middle of it. Perhaps I wasn't thinking that far ahead because I walk into the bathroom and push a stall door open. Well it wasn't empty! Some woman had forgotten to lock her door and I smacked her in the head with it just as she was sitting down. Whoops, sorry!
This is the most embarassing experience I've had since the start of this section. I must share. At Subway -surprise surprise- we cater to the needs of local camp counsolers. A counsoler that comes in pretty often was getting a sub and one to go. I was making the one to go while he talked with my co-worker who was making his. Well I hear my co worker say what I think is "Yeah I haven't seen home all Summer." which makes sense to me cuz I sure haven't. So I pipe up "I sleep there occasionally!" They both look at me and go what? My co-worker says "You sleep at Thoma's? What aren't you telling me?" Thoma is a hot foreign counsoler that works at the same camp. My co-worker had said that she "Hadn't seen Thoma all summer." Yeah I was close. They both just kept laughing and I pretty much wanted to die cuz I'm fairly certain Thoma will be told ASAP.
For your viewing pleasure "A Subway Incident." The first of many to come I'm sure. While making a sub for a woman I proceeded to ask her the endless array of questions I'm required to ask a person about their sandwich preferences. There were people waiting in line behind her and they were talking about ice cream as I asked her if she'd like cheese and mayonaise on her sub. Well I heard them and it came out, "Would you like cheese and ice cream on that?" The best part being that she didn't even adknowledge that I said it. She just looked at me and said yes please like it was normal. The people in line could not stop laughing.
Well this week My bright move this week took place in Biology class although it has nothing to do with Bio. Somehow the movie The Princess Bride came up. Never having seen the movie I asked my friend Kelly, "Wasn't Harrison Ford in that?" She's like no. I said, "Are you sure?" she's like yeah. So I thought about it "Oh wait, Harrison Ford was in the Prince of Tides!" Everyone was highly amused. Princess Bride, Prince of Tides....same difference.
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO
I had Saturday off this week so I went to the movies with my friend Phil. Always thinking ahead I headed for the bathroom before the movie started so I wouldn't have to go in the middle of it. Perhaps I wasn't thinking that far ahead because I walk into the bathroom and push a stall door open. Well it wasn't empty! Some woman had forgotten to lock her door and I smacked her in the head with it just as she was sitting down. Whoops, sorry!
This is the most embarassing experience I've had since the start of this section. I must share. At Subway -surprise surprise- we cater to the needs of local camp counsolers. A counsoler that comes in pretty often was getting a sub and one to go. I was making the one to go while he talked with my co-worker who was making his. Well I hear my co worker say what I think is "Yeah I haven't seen home all Summer." which makes sense to me cuz I sure haven't. So I pipe up "I sleep there occasionally!" They both look at me and go what? My co-worker says "You sleep at Thoma's? What aren't you telling me?" Thoma is a hot foreign counsoler that works at the same camp. My co-worker had said that she "Hadn't seen Thoma all summer." Yeah I was close. They both just kept laughing and I pretty much wanted to die cuz I'm fairly certain Thoma will be told ASAP.
For your viewing pleasure "A Subway Incident." The first of many to come I'm sure. While making a sub for a woman I proceeded to ask her the endless array of questions I'm required to ask a person about their sandwich preferences. There were people waiting in line behind her and they were talking about ice cream as I asked her if she'd like cheese and mayonaise on her sub. Well I heard them and it came out, "Would you like cheese and ice cream on that?" The best part being that she didn't even adknowledge that I said it. She just looked at me and said yes please like it was normal. The people in line could not stop laughing.
Well this week My bright move this week took place in Biology class although it has nothing to do with Bio. Somehow the movie The Princess Bride came up. Never having seen the movie I asked my friend Kelly, "Wasn't Harrison Ford in that?" She's like no. I said, "Are you sure?" she's like yeah. So I thought about it "Oh wait, Harrison Ford was in the Prince of Tides!" Everyone was highly amused. Princess Bride, Prince of Tides....same difference.
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO
For your viewing pleasure "A Subway Incident." The first of many to come I'm sure. While making a sub for a woman I proceeded to ask her the endless array of questions I'm required to ask a person about their sandwich preferences. There were people waiting in line behind her and they were talking about ice cream as I asked her if she'd like cheese and mayonaise on her sub. Well I heard them and it came out, "Would you like cheese and ice cream on that?" The best part being that she didn't even adknowledge that I said it. She just looked at me and said yes please like it was normal. The people in line could not stop laughing.
Well this week My bright move this week took place in Biology class although it has nothing to do with Bio. Somehow the movie The Princess Bride came up. Never having seen the movie I asked my friend Kelly, "Wasn't Harrison Ford in that?" She's like no. I said, "Are you sure?" she's like yeah. So I thought about it "Oh wait, Harrison Ford was in the Prince of Tides!" Everyone was highly amused. Princess Bride, Prince of Tides....same difference.
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO
This week I discovered why potatoes from Kentucky Fried Chicken should come with a warning label. Sitting at the kitchen table, starving after a hard day of shopping I grabbed the container of potatoes. I tried to open the lid several time to no avail! Frusterated I stuck my finger under the lid hoping to pop it off. Instead I ended up cutting my finger rather deeply on the plastic lid. And it still didn't open, had to get my mom to do it for me! So consider yourselves warned!
NOW THAT I'M THROUGH EMBARASSING MYSELF GO BACK TO