"Monster of My Dreams"
written by The Scorpion
(Copyright March 1999)
Imagine crying to the sky in the middle of the night from a dream
Sweating with tears running down, waking up to a silent scream
Jumping straight up to end this constant thought of a nightmare
I'm hurting to sleep tonight when my damped pillow lies there
Cold sleepless nights, many mornings awoken to my dried eyes
I look at the clock, each hour drags longer, soon the sun will rise
Frequently wondering if this heart can withstand the pressure
Stressed with the past, recovering from it, I'm no longer sure
Imagine lying and looking at the ceiling and recalling what I feel
Knowing identity was lost, knowing the broken soul won't heal
Such at a young age to grab a pen and write about the aweful pain
Simple words to describe, but was straight to the heart's red stain
Bleeding phrantically, a bad dream that in my mind I still keep
Drops upon hands as reminder of why its so hard for me to sleep
Always envision an angel saving me, or God to rescue my heart
I couldn't talk to my parents about endless night that were dark
Constant war between two, so I dealt with my own battlefield
Fought with my pen and paper, writing to release how I feel
And no one knew how I felt, and only my notebook to dwell in
How much my voice echoed in my heart of the aweful pain
Secret, not a soul, I promise, I let it all out in the middle of night
Can you imagine a kid crying in tears, so hard that I couldn't write
I prayed to my Lord, watch over me while I lye my head on my pillow
Didn't like to be touched, afraid to see what will happen tomorrow
Its not my fault, because I have no control in a desperate action
Strayed, stayed far away, but cornered to hate is half the fraction
There's time I couldn't run, didn't need to feel a bruise of a bad memory
Don't touch me, don't hug me, I prefer to have a huge distance
Trapped in this four walled cell, for I fear for the monster presence
Screams of my dreams of the door opening of uninvited guest
Chill down my cold spine, tears that builds more to my own stress
Waiting for an angel to rescue me, to fly me away from here
As I look into the sky, I prayed so hard to beat the monster I fear
Secretive thoughts in the dark cornered of my mind, alonely place
Always happy when I knew someone was there to make me feel safe
Didn't deserve to be groped, an innocent child at stake to burn
With firey eyes of a mad face, so wash away was my main concern
Now can you imagine me, in my room all alone and not feel protected
Armored with a strong heart, kept quiet, but memories are recollected
Of helpless nights, cold wind that was scratching noises on the window
Noises of steps into my dreams, tossing to not be touch, such sorrow
Turning to dodge, my dreams weren't remember, I barely sleep at night
Crying inside because no one listens, just hears of the battles I fight
Praying to my God, wondering why no answer to my prayer to Him
Waiting for that two winged figure to rescue me from my lonely problem
Felt like many times I wanted to die, forget about waking up to next day
Wanted to get rid of this nightmare of a monster that won't just go away
God, bless the child the can hold his own, I lost everything, vulnerable
Sensitive to reach out, kept in a dark closet, to forgive I'm not capable
Of my dreams, I remember, I hate to sleep, to dream, to be alone at night
But I was young, no escape, a refugee in my room, no one in my sight
Dark vision, a scorpion sting hurts when I have no control of my mind
Lock the door, hide under the cover, wish death would erase my lifeline
Wide eyes opened, but I continued to pray for a day of peace inside
But I still hate to sleep, to dream, to wake up to whatever I had to decide
Silent scream echoed into my soul of this monster that conquer over me
But only time would tell if I can get over it, it was my state of recovery
I try so hard to forget, delete the file of what happened, blocked mind
A coward dies many death, but a soldier dies once, a dead spirit
Forgetting isn't easy, when its always there, hour, second, minute
Closed inside, revealed to no one, but my heart at the end of its brink
When thinking life was going to get better, was so useless to think
Because the monster would be back, to weak to struggle in the night
Vulnerable and sensitive, so my strength was useless for me to fight
I lost . . . .
It won . . .
Its victory . . . .
My lost story . . .
THE END