Here are some rules for you women . . .

1. Learn how the toilet seat Works: if it's up put it down.

2. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

3. Don't make us guess.

4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

5. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

6. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. (but you’ll probably get what you want)

7. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

8. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

9. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

10. Shopping is not everybody's idea of a good time.

11. You have enough clothes.

12. You have too many shoes.

13. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

14. Share the bathroom.

15. Share the closet.

16. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

17. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a Doctor.

18. Nothing says "I love you" like a quickie in the morning.