Sometimes I sit n think n the things that go thru my head scare the shii outta me. One nite...while sleepin ata 'frenz' house in his arms....feelin cozy n secure, I had the most wicked nitemare. I dreamt that we 'the fam' were driving along n outta nowhere these ppl pulled up beside us n started shooting. Well I was ina back seat with my daughter standin up in my lap, *knows the law n not spose to do that, but s a dream ppl...=)* bullets flying everywhere, n they shoot my lil gurl. I woke up ina cold sweat...scared to death n cryin. Yet ma 'frenz' arm was still wrapped round me. I never been so scared in my life.
Then, the other day at work, I was sitting there, daydreaming ina middle of sum ppl talkin to me, n I have another icky thought. Sumpin happened to my lil gurl again (canna member wut I thought at the moment), but I just started cryin n sweatin. The dream book say it's got sumpin to do with me n my baby daddy being apart er sum shii. But I tell u the things I dream er daydream er think jus scare the shii outta me. There is no point to this page...I just wanted to write er type it out...duno y...just did. Sometimes I wonder if sumpin gonna happen to her for real er if it's jus my own insecurities er wutever.
September 5, 1999