My List of Funny Names, Words and Phrases!

And Their Descriptions

These are some humorous Names, Words, and Phrases!  These are some of my personal favorites.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.  ENJOY!

NAMES

BOB!!!!!!!

Of course, this is the funniest name of all, everyone knows that!  Now, I'm not making fun of this name, in fact, I LOVE ALL BOBS.  Some people can't understand my infactuation with the name BOB, but you know, if you're that dense you don't deserve a name like this!

!STINK! (a.k.a.Paco)

To really appreciate this name you have to know two things, one-the old t.v. show "Land of the Lost" and two-Mr.Yozviak and his lame attempts of being cool and funny at the same time.  So, if you have no clue what I'm talking about, then I'm truely sorry but there is no help for people like you.

BUCKY the BEAVER!

Now, I don't know why this is sooo funny, but I mean just say it.  You have to admit it, That's one heck of a funny name!!

MERTHA

This is an originally produced name, created (of course) by me.  It is a cross between Martha and Bertha.  I use it as a term of endearment (if you will) for Kristal.  If you don't understand anything about which I'm talking don't worry about it, you had to be there.

ETHEL

This name is usually heard by older people calling to one another saying such things as "Come on Ethel, you're gonna have to move faster than that if we're going to get to Denny's in time for the early bird specials!!"  I mean has the world lost the fine art of naming or what??  Names like Ethel shouldn't be almost non-exsistant, we should be cherishing such names!  Ethel is the coolest name (besides Bob and Mertha) for someone!  So remember to always say "hi" to Ethel if you happen to know one and tell her that I think her name is really cool!!

The Zelda WonderBoy

The Zelda WonderBoy is a code name for Dan.  He is a little obsessed with the video game Zelda, however he prides himself on this fact.  He will never live this name down as long as I'm around!

WORDS

SHUCK

You know, as in "Bob, go shuck the corn."  Well, I just truly don't understand this word.  I mean where on earth did it come from??  And can that question ever really be answered??  Well, when I first started saying this word it brought up an interesting argument, perhaps you could provide some insight, "Do you Husk or Shuck??"  HEY!!!  Exciting news, thanks to MIKE we (or rather I) now know that shuck and husk are two completely different things!  Thanks Mike!!

SHELLAC

Why on earth would you shellac anything??  It's just so...so...unnatural.  Enough said.

HERNIA

Now, I know, I know, you probably think it's kind of rude of me to make fun of something that's so serious, but face it, IT'S FUNNY.  Just the word, ever since I first heard my grandmother say "geez, just lifting this could give me a Hernia,"  I have been purely mesmerized by this word.  You'll find that in everyday life I use it quite a lot.

JOSHIN'

This one is kind of a hick slang word, if you will.  It's kind of hard to explain it but it mostly means "kidding, playing, messing with your mind" that kind of thing.

HANKERIN'

Another kind of slang word, but this one is funnier.  I use this when I want to describe something that I what to eat.  For example if I want pretzels I'll simply say "I got a Hankerin' for some pretzels!"  Now, this doesn't mean that I will automatically be served but at least everyone is aware that I'm hungry!

SPORK

Sporks could be considered one of the  most useful inventions know to man.  I mean, it's a FORK and a SPOON in ONE!!  What more could you ask for except maybe a knife!

WOFT

The great american word...woft...often said a lot in Baltimore.  Well, at least Jen and I said it a lot when we were in Baltimore. It's used to smell things but when you woft you don't get as strong as a wif.  That way you won't pass out or anything.

CULOTTES

An article of clothing worn to cover up the lower portion of the body other wise known as the legs.  They are pants but hold the same characteristics as shorts.  They usually reach the length of the knees and are somewhat tight.  Caution--should not be worn by people who are slightly over weight.

WHITTLE

To whittle you need two things...a knife and a piece of wood.  I'll let you figure out the rest.

PIDDLY

A word meaning nothing, extremely little, or worthless.  It's used as an adjective to describe practically any place, thing, or person...if used in the right context, of course!

NIFTY

Like in the song NIFTY, Fifty, United States, etc.  This word can replace other words such as Neat or Cool.  The only difference?...if you say this word you'll be much more stylin' than everybody else!

PHRASES

"Oy, my Achin' back!!"

This is kind of a Word-Phrase combo.  You have words like "Oy" and "Achin'" in there but simply put together you have a very humorous sentence!  Another body part such as hip, arm, butt, well...you understand, can also be substituted for "Back."

"Oh, Brother!"

I, personally, have an tendency to use this phrase quite frequently.  When people catch me talking to myself, this is what I'm usually saying.  It's not the funniest thing, but you can put any emotion to it and it will greatly express what you're trying to say.

"Squeegee Me!"

This may be seen as a very perverted term, that is, of course, if you don't know what I'm talking about.  It is used during Paintball to express an intrest in getting your gun cleaned.  This phrase is sent out to Denis, who had this yelled at him numerous times throughout the day when we played paintball.  (Which was a blast, just in case you wanted to know!)

"Whip Out the REAL Talent!"

This goes back to the good ole days of Bowling.  (Yes, don't we all love Bowling!  Woo-Hoo!!)  Anyway, this expression can be used when you know that you are really, really bad but you think that you will do better when it's important.  This is credited to a certain trumpet player who really did "whip out his real talent" at the bowling tournament.  (That's not meant to be sick, so don't take it that way you pervert!!)

"So, give me the $0.16 you have now and I'll put it on sandwich layaway!"

This is the funniest line in the movie "Good Will Hunting".  If you haven't seen that movie you should.  This part is extremely funny because Chucky(with the really short pants!) and Morgan(this unemployed reject)are aruging over a double burger!  Morgan wants his burger but Chucky paid for it so he give it to him.  He tells Morgan to give him the 16 cents that he has now and to give him 6 cents for the rest of the week until he pays him back.  Then Morgan can eat his sandwich.  The sandwich gets put in "Sandwich Layaway"!!!!  It's really, really funny!

"Baby, you have a nice ass!"

This is credited to Jess, it is her imfamous pick up line which, may I add, she has yet to use.  When she does however, I will probably drop to the floor in laughter.

"Open Up A Can Of Whop-ass!"

Yet another quote from our good friend Jess!  This expression is used by us to imply that we are getting aggitated, but most of the time we're just fooling around.  I also find this statement just plain humorous, but then again that's just me.

"Listen Sweetheart!"

This phrase is best used with a new york/valley girl accent.  Although it is quite funny it can at times be followed by "i'll give you sweetheart!"  So choose your battles wisely!

"Then we'd all Win!"

Again, this phrase was said by the one and only Jess!  I guess certain people are just good at saying corny things at the right time!  Now the real meaning behind this quote will never be revealed for it is far too embarrassing and shameful for both of us.  But just know that neither of us won!

"Are you gettin' salty wit me??"

Now this phrase is an oldie but a goodie!  It is often over heard in the New Yorker filled hallways of our high school!  As you can see there is a little bit of Ebonics in it and it really doesn't make much sense at all if you think about it, but I suppose it gets the point across!

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If you think of any other names, words, or phrases feel free to drop me a line.

© 2003