QUESTION: Jonathon asks: Fax machines are cool. Do you like fax machines?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Of course I do. Why shouldn't I?
QUESTION: Hunter asks: Hand puppets rules, man! I especially like to carry them when I'm, like, surfing, duuude! What do you think?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Blaaahh! I think you're wrong, Hunter! Hand puppets are not set for surfing! However, you might want to try finger puppets! Now THOSE are surfing associates!
QUESTION: Hanah asks: I like to drink a healthy bowl of chicken soup a day!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: NOOOO! DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT CHICKEN SOUPS ARE THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL?!?!?!
QUESTION: Britney asks: I can count up to 5! You can't! You can't!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: HA! I can count up to 10! TAKE THAT, YOU FIEND!
QUESTION: Bob asks: Who are you? And why do half of these questions sound like they were made up?!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: That's a pretty fair question, Robert. But of course, none of these questions were made up by me or anyone else...oh, no, siree, Bob. Some of these questions I actually get in RL (real life), and some of these questions I get in emails!
QUESTION: Bob asks: But you just did it again! Making up more of these fake questions!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Persistant brat! FEEL MY WRATH! *Kicks Bob out of this questions page*
QUESTION: Mary asks: Hi, Steve! It's me, Mary!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Uhh ... who? Steve? My name is not Steve! And who are you?! Are you some part of a giant plot against me?!
QUESTION: Vicki asks: What is your favorite color?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Muhahahahaha! Finally, a NORMAL sounding question! YOU ARE NOW MY NEW BEST FRIEND, VICKI! Anyway, my favorite color is blue! Navy blue, even! Yeah!
QUESTION: Lum asks: Alright, what are you doing??
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Uh, nothing, Lummy dear! You're just seeing things there?
QUESTION: Henry asks: Is that your final answer?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: O_O;;
QUESTION: Fred asks: A, B, C, D, E, F, G...next time won't you sing with me?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Uhhh...
QUESTION: Jacob asks: Hey, man, you gotta respect the smurfs, man, you can't burn them, man, it's not right, man, just stop burning them with those matches, man, you just can't do that, man...
ANSWER: Darkie answers: *Sets random smurfs on fire* MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
QUESTION: Jennifer asks: What is the ideal junk food?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Chocolate, CHOCOLATE! YOU JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF CHOCOLATE!
QUESTION: Lily asks: Wanna get married?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Of course not.
QUESTION: George asks: Me George! Me so powerful! You puny!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: BAD GEORGE! GO TO YOUR ROOM!
QUESTION: Jackie asks: Man ... just WHAT is your problem?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Why, you are, my dear?
QUESTION: Lum asks: Okay, okay, how many fingers am I holding up??
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Muhahahaha! That's easy! 5!
QUESTION: Beckey asks: Do you do acid?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Why, of course not? Drug free is the way to be?
QUESTION: Greg asks: Hey, I know you! Or at least I think it's you. Your name is Steve, right?? Aren't you that weird looking guy with that cute girl always clinging onto you from class? The guy that always wear those Marilyn Manson t-shirts? Hey, it IS you, isn't it!!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Uh ... HOW DID YOU GET HERE, GREG?! Uh .... I mean, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
QUESTION: Monica asks: What is WITH your quizlet? "Favorite eating utensils"?!? What the hell kind of quizlet is THAT? This has GOT to be the WORSE website on THE WEB!!!!!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: OoOoOo, your hair is on fire.
QUESTION: Daisy asks: Do you like to drink tea?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Of course! Every sunday I enjoy a nice, good hot cup of fresh tea! :D
QUESTION: Violet asks: Do you like mocha?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: YAYAYAYA &*%$ MOCHA IS THE SECOND BEST THING NEXT TO TEA!
QUESTION: Jackie asks: HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! How could you live with yourself?????? Some of the questions that you posted are actually half-decent!!!!!! But what do you do?????? YOU POST THEM ON THIS PAGE!!!!!! Do you think this is a joke??????
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Uh, dude, your keyboard just left you with a note that said "abusive behavior".
QUESTION: Greg asks: So it IS you!! Hell yeah!! Wassssup, man???? How's your girlfriend doing?? Can I have her??
ANSWER: Darkie answers: *&$*&$ HOW DID YOU GET THIS EMAIL ADDRESS?? Uhhh ... I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
QUESTION: Hootchi asks: WHY IS MY ARM ITCHY?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Muhahahaha! Why, your arm isn't itchy at all! You're just THINKING that your arm is itchy when it's really your foot that's itchy? &*$^ SO GO AHEAD AND SCRATCH YOUR FOOT?
QUESTION: Hootchi asks: WHY CAN'T YOU COME UP WITH YOUR OWN QUESTIONS.
ANSWER: Darkie answers: &*^$ THAT'S NOT A QUESTION.
QUESTION: Hootchi asks: MY FISH SMELLS FUNNY. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: OoOo Obviously your fish possess the ability to talk? SO TALK TO IT! I'm sure it'll have some fascinating things to say?
QUESTION: Skippy asks: WHATS THAT SMELL COMING FROM MY FRIDGE?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: OoOoO I have reasons to believe that the smell is coming from an overgrown amoeba? AN ORANGE ONE, IN FACT?
QUESTION: Skippy asks: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WHITE BERMUDA SHORTS WITH THE PINK FLAMINGOS?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: *&$^ You see, the Flamingos and the orange amoeba used to be at war! During one of the war days, the amoeba got hungry and decided to eat all of the Flamingos! Shorts and all!
QUESTION: Hootchi asks: WHY CAN'T YOU TAPE YOUR TONGUE TO THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: *(&$ BECAUSE YOUR SALIVA WILL WEAR OFF THE STICKY PART OF THE TAPE AWAY?
QUESTION: Frankie asks: A dwarf stole my TV remote control! Help!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: !@#$ That's not a question! Next!
QUESTION: Quinn asks: Oh my God, you're so mean! Why didn't you help that Frankie person!? You're such an [bleep]!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Yeh, you're right. I should've done something. Hey dwarf! I'll give ya a $100 if you could get me Frankie's VCR remote!
QUESTION: Suunybot asks: Do you want to lose weight? Well, you can! In 3 weeks ...
ANSWER: Darkie answers: IN 3 WEEKS IT'LL BE THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, AND I FEEL FIIINE!
QUESTION: Diana asks: Hehe ... I found you!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Acckk ... oh, dear God, no! *Runs and hides from Diana's wrath*
QUESTION: Marilyn asks: You say you wanted evolution!? The ape was a great big hit!
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Err ... more power to the apes!
QUESTION: Penny asks: Mister, mister! How many licks does it take to get to the center of the tootsie pop?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Lick? Blaah ... why don't you just bite the candy if you wanna get to the center so badly?
QUESTION: ^^Orange_Amoeba^^ asks: You suck. Why haven't you updated anything else other than the "updates" page?
ANSWER: Darkie answers: Shut up.
Muhahahahaha! Go home!
